How do you remain positive after a loss of one or more babies????

Im.Nayomi · #1 September 19th, 2010, 10:11 PM

I am wondering how do others remain positive after a loss of one or more
babies???? May 2010 was my last loss ( i have lost twins back in nov08 m/c & then 1 baby May 2010 m/c ) and was in a funk the last 3 1/2 months but
have come to the conclusion that its time to pick myself up && go to
the next phase of coping.....how do you ladies cope????

I am Nayomi for those who do not know me.

.:Shortcake:. · #2 September 20th, 2010, 03:31 AM

Nayomi my most recent loss was about 2 weeks ago with my precious twins. I've been clinging to DH since my most recent loss and trying to keep my mind forward on other things. Also these ladies here have been the biggest thing helping me cope. I know if I need to rant, cry, need advice they are always here for me. I hope you find your way to cope. HUGS! If you ever need to talk I'm here.

ashj_1218 · #3 September 20th, 2010, 03:38 AM

I think one of the biggest things is just letting the emotions out and accepting where you are at any given time. You don't ever have to like the situation or appreciate what you have been through...but you do have to accept it and try to keep yourself going with good things that happen in life.

I personally keep myself going on the thought that eventually, whether it is this month or four years from now, I will have another child. I just have to be patient and wait for "my turn." Having distractions helps too. Take up a craft, join a church group, or learn to knit. Anything that takes some of the mental energy away from obsessing about the losses and possibility of more.

Now, I must say that I am pretty new in my losses. I had one loss years ago and it really didn't affect me that much. I had two this summer (July 1st-20th and September 2nd-4th) and am trying to move on in the only way I know how...trying again and spending my time with people who are supportive and loving. It seems to be working. I feel more like myself everyday.

ohnicole · #4 September 20th, 2010, 07:07 AM

I had my loss just over a year ago, and I have to admit that sometimes it doesn't even feel like I am coping. The ladies here are amazing, and have helped me so much! Other than that I just try to make sure that I do things that I enjoy instead of moping on the couch in all my free time. But sometimes it does get the better of me.... I try not to beat myself up about it too much.

I hope you can start feeling a little better soon

Im.Nayomi · #5 September 20th, 2010, 01:56 PM

Thank you for all of your responses...... it has really given me some insight

& hope.

missy123 · #6 September 20th, 2010, 05:40 PM

I have good days and bad days. I really rely on my close family and friends who let me cry and talk as much as I want about my losses and they are always here for me. I vent away here, and for this loss I am taking Valium for the next 2 weeks to help me get through the day...

MamaRN · #7 September 20th, 2010, 05:46 PM

I agree that just accepting the emotions as they come and being OK with that, and talking about it and letting it out seem to help. I had my loss about 3 1/2 months ago and was doing pretty well for awhile but since I got AF again a week ago I've been down in the dumps with a lot of tears and feeling really depressed about it.

I am sorry for your losses Nayomi.

((HUGS))

Im.Nayomi · #8 September 20th, 2010, 11:01 PM

Thanks ladies!!!!

.:Shortcake:. · #9 September 21st, 2010, 04:33 AM

How are you doing hun?

Im.Nayomi · #10 September 21st, 2010, 05:14 AM

really good...I am on cd 5. this was the cycle that I decided Im ready to be happy & make the most of my married life...& my realization is that
dh married me for me...for the better & for the worse........how could we enjoy the "better" if we havent seen the "worse" that is my positive thoughts for the day......

How are you Katie?

.:Shortcake:. · #11 September 21st, 2010, 05:17 AM

That is awesome thinking hun! I'm doing okay. Having an ultrasound today to see why I'm in so much pain. I am ovulating right now but having really bad pain. I'm glad your staying positive.

sarha81 · #12 September 21st, 2010, 05:22 AM

I used to be really good at making myself happy and when I was happy I was positive. If I felt like a hike would be good, I'd go. If I was stressed, I'd go for a jog or a walk with my dog, or shop, or get away for the weekend, or take a bath, or read. After the m/c, none of those things make me feel better, but I still do them or try to, because staying in bed is letting depression win and it's so easy to give in to it. But if I do stay in bed feeling sad, crying, sleeping, I will never get my old me back. So I fight, every day, to overcome misery, grief, sadness, depression, and replace it with something that used to bring joy. One day, I know the joy will return.

Im.Nayomi · #13 September 21st, 2010, 04:56 PM

I am cleaning the house, organizing stuff...pretty soon about to start getting back into my art work to decorate part of a wall in my living room....&& getting prepared to babysit my 2 year old nephew some time next month.....also about to get back into losing weight and praying my hormones will get balanced...thinking positive & telling depression that
he is no longer welcomed(why i think it is a he...i dont know....) ladies we have been in our new place since May 28th...why i am finally feeling like myself i dont know...but i think everything starts with a decision and rolling with it.. praying time will heal the pain of the past.

hugs.