[*SamF*]

I know I have been quite in here, but also figured you guys would understand this a bit more.

I got a BFP on Friday night. Last month was a early m/c/ chemical. I lost it at about 4 1/2 weeks. We had decided we were not going to tell anyone, but- I got an email from a friend on Saturday asking if I was pregnant because she had a dream. Then DH just had to tell his sister. So last night he was talking to his mom, and she asked how I was- and I said whatever just tell her. Wasn't to worried because they have all known about my previous losses and it was nice to have the support.

Anyway- DH said well "Sam has been sick - especailly in the morning- you know like mroning sickness" MIL- "Well you can hope" DH- No, mom we had several VERY postive tests" MIL- "oh- well we will have to see how long it lasts"

So after that lovely little conversation, I decided I needed someone to be excited so I called my mother- figured it's only fair to tell her since DH told MIL anyway. Me- "we are back to keeping our fingers crossed" Mom- "why?" Me- "we are pregnant again" Mom- "huh well how long" Me- " I took the test Friday night, but could have earlier I was holding out, and it was super positive- the test line came up before the control line" Mom- Well, we will give it a month or so".

I just wasn't expecting the negativeness from them. A little excitement- or even a fing congratulations!
DH and I decided that we will just not share any other details of our lives with them. (BTW- this is after both of them wanting to know about the losses before). Conversations will be limited to the weather, and maybe about CJ.

I'm still holding my breath that this one sticks.

[ohnicole]

I'm sorry that they were both so negative That just really isn't fair to you guys, or your growing bean! If only people IRL could think before they speak.

[shen7]

I'm like the opposite. I am too scared to get excited for my BFP and I'm scared of other people in my life getting too excited also (like I will let them down if it goes wrong). I start to get hopeful and excited, and then I check myself, like I'm not allowing myself to imagine it working out. I had to tell my dad not to get too excited... it's like he can't imagine anything going wrong. My mom was excited but scared and stressed.

But at the same time, I know that if my parents had responded like yours and your in-laws, I would have been really mad. They should at least be excited for the possibility!! I am excited for you, if it helps at all!!! After all, it's a !!!




Let's hope we both have sticky beans in the right place and all these other lovely ladies soon join us in taking over the PAL board!!!!

[Pitridge]

I understand, when I got pg with ds, my mom said lets see what happens with this one. I was so mad at her.
I'm sorry.....
But I am so excited for you!!!!!!!

[Halfbaked]

I'm excited for you!! Congratulations! Sending lots of sticky vibes! I hope in another month they both feel stupid for saying what they did.
I get the same reaction except mine lasts the whole pregnancy. We had already decided not to tell anyone and after my mc, it made me even more sure that I don't need them to make negative comments so we too will keep the convo on the weather.
Congratulations again! You deserve to be excited.

[tobi4]

Im so sorry that your pregnancy isn't being celebrated the way it should be. I think that maybe the people who love us arent really sure how to react, and like us, they try to protect themselves from the hurt of another possible loss. It sucks huge, I know. I know that if we ever manage another bfp, I will be thinking the same things about myself. I wish everyone could go back to the time when there was no pain and fear of losing a baby but in the position we are all in, having experienced loss, we cant help but be cautious. Im so sorry, I wish everyone could just be excited. Its been stolen from you, I am so sorry for that, and I know absolutely nothing about your families, but please, if they have been supportive and you have a good relationship with them, understand as well, they are saying what they hope protects you as well as them. They just dont understand how much we need their excitement to make it easier for us to face the fear. Im sorry, Im preaching, I dont mean to. And like I said, I know nothing about your families, so maybe this doesnt apply at all. If it was me, I would be hurt as well, even thinking the way I do ... the loss hurts us, in more ways than anyone ever imagines. Hugs, We are excited for you!!!!

[mlyster]

Wow Sam - I am sorry they reacted that way. I had 4 miscarrriages in a row and never got that reaction (at least to my face) about any of my pregnancies... however, I also had a hard time telling anyone after the first m/c.

I am keeping you and your bean in my thoughts and prayers - maybe another healthy grandchild for them will be what they need to STOP with the negativity. But I would definitely say something too them about how unneccessary the negativity is.

[ldovey83]

I am sorry hun that they reacted that way.. I agree that maybe they are just trying to protect themselves from getting hurt.. I know my parents were hurt every time too.. They didn't know how to react or what to say either.. Hang in there hun.. Congrats and I wish you the best of luck...

[luvmykids623]

I'm so sorry that they reacted that way!

I am so happy for you!! I'll be praying that this is your sticky bean!

[SkyBaby]

That's horrible! They should be happy for you and supportive and encouraging. They're not acting like family should.

On to a happier note.. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! A pregnancy is always something to be happy about.

[missy123]

I am so sorry Sam.... I understand. My mom keeps telling me every time we talk that I need to get my tubes tied...

[tobi4]

Originally Posted by missy123

I am so sorry Sam.... I understand. My mom keeps telling me every time we talk that I need to get my tubes tied...

Yikes! Thats beyond unsupportive! Im sorry Missy!

[missy123]

Thanks Tobi...