[Banned-a brand new laura]

Well ladies, as many of you know, DH and I were fighting something fierce, and I went MIA for a bit. I never stopped reading the posts and praying and thinking of you. But I want to talk about the strangest thing that has happened to me.

I met my first love at 15. At 17, I moved and broke it off because I didn't want to hurt him or me by leaving physically. Anyway, I regretted it almost my whole life. Fast forward 8 years, I'm recently married and whatnot.

And now after everything he's added me to Facebook! Brings up a lot of feelings I wasn't ready to deal with... I know this is kind of random but what I'm dealing with. Brings up a lot of what if's. I guess DH and me fighting has me questioning things, and I HATE that, but it is what it is...

[ldovey83]

You know I had something similar happen.. My first love wrote me on facebook and sent me a friend request.. I added him.. I looked through all his pictures, and it started to bring up the what if's.. I started second guessing and wondering about the fighting with my DH if it was worth it and all... I had to do what I thought was best and I defriended him.. I couldn't risk my marriage or my family... I kno it is hard, and strange things happen, but if it is seriously going to get in the way with you trying to work it out with your DH defriend him... It is never easy being married after losses.. I know and I understand.. We are all here if you need to vent or talk.. Hang in there.

[ohnicole]

I'm sorry that the timing of this is bringing up old feelings and mucking you up when you're try to work through this with DH. I really hope that you are able to get through this and end up with your sticky BFP very soon

[Brittanie]

I went through something similar, on the other side. He wasn't someone I ever actually dated, we both just sort of liked each other but never admitted it to each other (mutual friends knew though). I went through a depression and tried to find him on facebook, I just wanted to explain some things, I guess.

Anyway, I sent him a message but he never responded, but I think it's a good thing. I think the phrase "what if" is one of the most damaging in the English language.

[tobi4]

Laura, One of the easiest things to do in the face of difficult times, is to look for a way out. I think thats normal, its not what you really want though. I think what you are looking for is to go back to a time of innocence, when you didnt know the pain you know now. You arent alone hun. ~hugs~

[Pitridge]

I gone through that too, mostly because my dh can be really cold/distant/non-loving for no reason and it can last for months, and no matter how much we talk about it, it still hard. So I have gone through the what if........an old flame, he left, after he left he told me that he still loved me, when I started dating dh, he got upset because I was dating someone.....it's now been 9 years, and honestly sometimes I wonder about the what if, and many times I have wrote him an email, but never sent it, and I always wonder what would happen if I send it........

[.:Shortcake:.]

Hugs! A loss can make or break a relationship. It can make you feel all the what if's in the world. Only you can truly decide what is best for you. But make sure that is what you want because once it happens its hard to go back.