[okiliz]

So ... I think I am out this month .. In some ways I knew it would happen.. but in others I had text book symptoms IE: ovulation cramps and spotting, what I thought was implantation spotting 10 days after ovulation( 4 ish days ago ) I tested this morning and it was negative... SOooooo stark white you would have thought I put bleach on the test line... I still have no signs of AF or PMS.. so who knos. I am on CD 26.. but I should have gotton a BPF by now if I was preggos .. So.. I am pretty sure I am out . the up side is that we have planned an IUI in november as some of you know and we have a pretty good shot with that, it worked the first time last time.. SO I have a little over a month before we can try ... I can exercise, lose weight and really work on positive thinking.. but it is hard right now.. My sister is due in october, my sister in law is also due in about 2 weeks and my other sister in law is due a month before I was.. Hubby's ex wife is being nasty about it, she does not want him to have more kids .. It is just really hard right now .. All I want is a baby, boy ,girl, singleton or twins or more.. I just want a healthy baby born at term .. yeah I did not have high hopes this cycle.. but still I thought maybe.. just maybe.. aand maybe that was my mistake.. I miss my babies that I lost.. and I know a new pregnancy will not heal it allbut it would help with the pain and make me feel whole again . I guess I had just really hoped it would be that easy for us . A loss is hard anytime it happens no matter how it happens.. I just figured with going through infertity treatments we had been through enough.. life has been cruel enough.. now.. I am not pregnant this cycle, 2 sisters are due in 2 & 3 weeks, 1 is due a month before I was and it just sucks. I am happy for them but so freakin sad and I feel like a monster for feeling that way ... At least I have hope for november.. please Karma.. be nice to us in november.. I just want a baby...

( stepping off soap box ) Thanks ladies.. I needed that !

[ohnicole]

I'm so sorry about your BFN

All the emotions are so hard to deal with sometimes, especially when people in our lives just don't seem to get it at all. I hope that everything works out for you soon!

[Glitz]

It's so hard to see a BFN when you have the pregnancy symptoms, thats what happen to me this last cycle i was so sure i was pregnant because i had all the symptoms

[msshamis23]

I'm sorry for the BFN. It's so hard. I think that even when you feel like you don't have hope during a cycle there is still some part of you that does. And it makes your emotions run pretty high.

*hugshugshugs*

I hope you get to see your BFP soon, and it's a very sticky bean.