[Banned-a brand new laura]

I have never in my dealt with something this hard. Ever. And I've been thru a lot... I've been sexually abused, I was kidnapped for 7 years, I went thru a dark period related to drug use.

But nothing I've been thru has been as hard as my marriage to Lee. He was the kind of guy who when angry, punched walls. Well, last night, I was the wall.

The police were called and my mom came downstate to rescue me. I have a small bit of clothes and things to last for now, and I'm getting the rest next Friday.

So I'm leaving Lee. Forever. I can't handle being in an abusive relationship. He's a big man, and next time, he might not do it on purpose, but he might break my neck. And I'd be dead.

So... I guess it goes without saying that my TTC journey is over. And with that said, I don't know if I'll be coming on JM anymore. It hurts too much.

Good luck everyone. I loved all of you.

[TTCin2010]

I am so sorry. I commend you for getting out.

[shen7]

Oh Laura,
I am so sorry. You are a very, very, very strong woman and deserve all the happiness and joy in the whole wide world. I am so proud of you for walking out and taking care of yourself this way, it is hard but it is the RIGHT thing to do!!! All I want (and I imagine all the other ladies too) is for you to be safe and sound. We will miss you very much, you have been such a sweet and supportive person on the board, your presence will be missed, just know that you are forever in the hearts of the people here you have touched. Including me. (I would have made that heart pink if I knew how!)

The future is a big place, and I know that with your spirit and endurance, you have great things ahead of you. Perhaps we will meet again in some random corner of life and the internets...

All the best and much much love,
Sarah/Shen

[msshamis23]

Oh Laura. I barely have words. You are indeed a strong women for getting out. You're safety is number one. Marriage is hard enough as it is, to add that to it--i'm shocked. I'm sorry to see you go, but I understand. You deserve a lifetime of happiness, security, and joy. You will be very missed. You gave so many kind words to everyone here, and left a spot in my heart as well.

Like Sarah said, I hope to meet again someday. And I know that in the end, you will get your joy, your happiness, and most of all your security.

*hugs hugs hugs hugs*

Much love, Amy.


(it seemed appropriate to take my siggy out as well.)

[JessP]

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Good for you for getting out. If you ever come back we are here for you and understand.

[Halfbaked]

You are indeed a brave and smart women. I wish you much happiness and hope that the future holds your dreams.

[Servilia]

I second everything the ladies have said Good for you for getting out now. You deserve a bright future. oh and just in case you think it might be helpful, there's a board on here specifically dealing with domestic abuse..

[ahawkin2]

I am so sorry for everything you have gone through, and I wish you all the best in the future.....you deserve it!

I never got the chance to talk to you as I never came in here but I saw this post on the main page and I just had to come in and say I am oh so sorry for everything that you have been through! You are such a brave woman for getting out and you get so much respect from me. Good luck with everything in the future!

[.:Shortcake:.]

HUGS! I am so sorry your having to go through this but your making the right choice and I am so proud of you for getting out of that situation. Even if your not TTC we will be here for you and I hope once you heal you come back to us

[~LaurenNoel~]

You are an amazingly strong woman. Good for you for getting out. I hope you will find the happiness of a man that treats you the way you deserve. Huge *hugs*. I will be praying for you.

[HopefulMommy81]

I wish you strength and happiness in yourself in the coming days/weeks/months. I'm glad you realized that you're better than that and got out. We're here whenever you need us!

[luvmykids623]

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. You have amazing strength. I wish you only the best in the future!

[Celena]

Laura you're a brave woman, a strong woman!!! That will be he best decision you ever made in self preservation. I pray that you're not forever scarrd by these horrible things . You're far too good a lady to put up with anythin less than he best, kindness.

if you're up for it stick around and peek in every once in a while.... There's also
Some forums that are private specifically related to things like survivors of abuse

[GoldenTickets]

I am so sorry you have had to go through this, but I am glad that you have your mom to help you. I am glad that you are safe. I know it's not easy, but you are such a strong woman! I hope the best for you in the future!

[Micksbabe]

I am so sorry. I was in an abusive relationship and the first time he threw me on the ground I left and haven't looked back, it was the best decision of my life. If you need anything you can pm me anytime.

I hope that you continue to keep us posted on how you are doing

[Banned-a brand new laura]

He called me twice last night and left voicemails. In the messages, he would start out talking and by the end of it, he'd be screaming. His own messages where I wasn't even part of the conversation, he'd get hysterical by the end of it. I cried on and off all day yesterday but as night fell, it really hit me.

Ha. That's almost a pun.

Anyway, at night the loneliness creeped in and I started to wonder if I was doing the right thing. He could get help right? Anger management? We could work it out right? Things were good once, weren't they? And then my heart started aching SO hard for my baby. Trying to get my mind off it, I aimlessly went on Facebook. A friend of mine posted her 20 week pregnancy belly--just as far along about as I'd be--and I broke down again. I tried to lay down and it was really hard. No one to give cuddles. I cried very hard until my eyes felt raw. And then a friend of mine popped on FB chat and told me her story.

She divorced her husband after being married 3 months and explained to me that they won't change. And if I was to go back, it would only get worse. After all, his emotions escalated merely on the phone by himself, when I wasn't even part of the conversation. So imagine if I was! I finally slept feeling okay and right about my decision.

When I woke, I saw another voicemail. It was from his mother, who is dying from cancer. She's in the hospital right now. Her message said things like Lee really loved me, and how dare I decide to end the marriage when I promised to God himself I would make it work. I was really angry then, and got into the shower to wake up better. When I got out, my heart about stopped.

Lee was pacing around on my parent's front balcony! He didn't call to say he was coming, he didn't knock, nothing. He was just pacing around. He had parked his car down the street and walked over. I was so scared and I immediately called the police. When they showed up, things got even worse.

The cop was screaming at the top of his lungs to Lee. I couldn't hear anything but one phrase: I will make it my MISSION to make sure she divorces your sorry ***! Lee was escorted away and I was told if he showed up again, we could have him arrested for trespassing. I'm getting a PPO on Monday. I'm terrified of him and of what he's capable. In his messages on the phone he said things like, "We said until DEATH do us part.... I will do anything to get you back, and I will fight until the bitter end..."

And I'm feeling lonely again. And my god, I didn't realize it would be this hard.

[JessP]

You are doing the right thing. And yes if you go back it will get worse. I would make sure to keep those messages just in case. You will get through this. You are a strong capable women. His mom doesn't want to see the bad in her son. Don't let them play mind games with you. We are here if you need to talk.

[LisaG825]

I am so sorry. Please, keep in mind that you want to do what is best for you. Also when you do get pregnant what kind of life do you want your baby to have? You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Pitridge]

Oh girl........I'm so sorry.....I'm sorry your marriage has come to this. You are a very strong woman, don't forget that. He doesn't own you, you are your own person, and as much as it hurts to see your marriage fall apart, you are very important and your happiness is as important as his. I don't know you well, but it takes a strong person to walk away from an abusive marriage, I'm proud of you and if you need support please know that I am here for you, PM anytime, I'll be there.