[~InHisHands~]

From my blog...

Something really struck me that our pastor said this morning at church:

You have to be willing to suffer for the sake of the kingdom like Jesus did.

It was part of a sermon about how Jesus died to give us an abundant life.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done.
~ Matthew 16:24-27

Infertility is my suffering for the kingdom's sake & I can honestly say that I see "kingdom work" all around me in my land of infertility & loss. There has been so much good to come out of my infertility & yes, even miscarriage, that it is unimaginable almost. I have met, reached out, & comforted so many who are on this road with me & I hope they see/saw Jesus through me. If this is my road to become like Jesus then, Lord, I will gladly bear this cross that you have made for me. All I ask is that You give me the strength to bear it because without your strength the burden is too heavy to bear alone but I know with You, all things are possible.

Jesus overcame the world when He died on the cross for us. He overcame death & sickness & even disease such as infertility. The Lord IS sufficient although Satan wants us to think otherwise, Satan wants us to get so depressed & in despair over our brokenness, over not being able to have a baby, that he (Satan) wins by ruining our joy in Jesus.

Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
~ James 1:16-17

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
~ John 10:10

What about you? Do you believe Jesus? Do you believe He overcame the world? Are you willing to suffer for the kingdom's sake? Are you letting Satan destroy your joy? As for me, I'm willing to follow Jesus despite the cost & I refuse to let Satan win. I hope you do too.

Much love,
~ Amanda

Galatians 4:22-23: Reflections

[shen7]

This may sound weird to you Amanda, since I am not a Christian per se, but when I read the meaning behind your words I see that I am trying to take the exact same approach. I have a personal spirituality that is strongly influenced by Buddhism, and I see suffering and loss as a potential opportunity to build my compassion and lovingkindness. I also see it as a way to outgrow my ego and my addictions to my own plans, and an opportunity to embrace life as it REALLY is with all its suffering and uncertainty. When I almost died from the massive blood loss of my ectopic, I had to realize that not just my baby-to-be, but my WHOLE LIFE could have been taken away, just like that, and so much for all my busy plans, so much for all the things I always thought I'd do "later". Although I have had a lot of fear and anxiety to overcome in the aftermath of the experience, I've also found a lot of peace. The importance of just "being here now" - to just exist in the current moment, without concern for past or future - has come home for me in a way that I've never experienced before. My currently uncertain situation has also been an opportunity to practice being present, open, and loving in each moment, to let go of the things I have no control over. It's VERY TOUGH but good practice. After all, when I think about some of the things that used to stress me out, I have to laugh.

I think in a way, the challenges we face with our losses are like a summons to spiritual boot camp.