[MeganMomof5]

I've been so busy the last week it seems...I don't think I got any down time this weekend at all, and here it is monday and i'm just worn out...I think AF is trying to come, but I had spotting before that stopped...I'm really getting frustrated...I am having horrible cramps, but the spotting is really brown (sorry for TMI), so I guess it's old blood? I actually wish she would hurry up and get here because i'm so sick of the cramps.

Tomorrow is my due date with the baby I lost in April ...I've been having such a hard time with that...It was a miscarriage, with D&C, so I never got to see the baby, or know what gender it was, but I still think of that baby every day...My neighbor behind me had a baby on friday, and the one next door I think is due this week or over due (I don't know them, i'm just a nosey neighbor)..So i'm always going to have to see them and their babies, and know that my baby should of been the same age UGH...Ella's death date is also in 2 days, her birthday is in a little more than 2 weeks.

Yesterday I went to a remembrance walk and ceremony put on by my support group...It was emotional...There were other woman who suffered stillbirths there too, and it was hard listening to them talk about it...I have another meeting tonight and we are bringing in memento's and pictures of our babies...i'm kind of nervous about that, but at the same time looking forward to sharing Ella.

Remember I posted about the nurse in my old doctor's office that helped me so much in August after my miscarriage? well on saturday my oldest daughter actually played soccer against her daughter, so I talked to her for a good 15 minutes, she was so sweet and gave me a hug...She said she's been so worried about me, and thinking of me often...So that was nice, it was a good closure, and I got to give her the good update on my condition, and that things were going good...She told me that I looked really healthy too lol...So that's pretty much it...I'm going to try to post more, and hopefully things will slow down a bit...I have one month till I can go get another blood test, and it really can't come soon enough...I'm going to have to call my new doctor's office and set up another appointment soon.

I hope everyone else is doing good!

[ohnicole]

Megan, I'm sorry that you have so many sad dates coming up All those days can really weigh on you. I hope you do something nice for yourself to help make it through.

I'm glad you are so active with your support group. It sounds so great

[ldovey83]

MEgan I have been thinking about you alot here lately.. I know right now isn't easy for you.. Do know we are all here for you though... I am glad that you have that group, and it was really nice to see that nice nurse again.. Keep us posted when you can.. You know where I am if you need to talk though..HUGS!!

[Pitridge]

I'm sorry about all the dates that are coming, please know that we are all here for you.

I'm glad that you have your support group, I hope tonight it's a good meeting.

[Halfbaked]

I'm sorry you have so many angel dates coming up. I'm glad you are doing better though. Your support group sounds great. I wish there was something like that around here to just talk about things.

[Celena]

Awe honey, it's good to have you give an update on everything... you're such a busy lady! Hope that being so busy occupies some of the time that would be spent with the heavy pain of your EDD & Ella's date coming up. I really really hope that you can get thru these days with minimal suffering and pain honey