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With co-workers that are expecting?? I work for a Pediatrician so that in itself is very hard some days but our receptionist is expecting. She found out she was expecting right as we lost bean. We are a small practice so only 7 of us, so its not like I can avoid her. The other day we was sitting at lunch and she said baby was punching so of course everyone wanted to touch. I was ok with it, I didnt touch but it didnt really affect me one way or another. Now today the office manager just asked me how would I feel if they did a baby shower.. She said she didnt want to upset me but wanted to put it out there that they may do something. I told her they could do whatever they wanted and I could contribute some money to a basket or get something but didnt know if I could actually sit in while it was happening. Does it make me a bad person? Its not her fault that I lost mine. I think it would be easier if I just didnt like her as a person but I do.. I dont know if Im taking it more to heart since I just passed my EDD or Im hormonal since Im in the 2WW.
Have you been to a baby shower since your loss? How do you deal with it?
Last edited by BeccaM; September 27th, 2010 at 10:23 AM.
I don't think you are a bad person if you would decide not to stay for the shower. Just by the fact that you were ask about it, it means that they wouldn't hold it against you if you did not want to stay.
If they are asking, then they'll understand if you don't go. It's really considerate of them to even think it might effect you. It doesn't make you a bad person, it just means you're human. When you get your bfp, I bet they'll be so excited for you. It's nice to have people around you like that that actually care.
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It sounds like you have very understanding coworkers, and that is amazing
I don't think you should feel guilty for having your feelings of sadness and loss for yourself interlaced with your feelings of happiness for other people. I haven't been to a baby shower since my loss, and I really don't know how I would handle it. No matter how much you are excited for the pregnant person, it is just like a hurricane of reminders of what we've lost. Hugs!!
OT: I accidentally typed :dothog: instead of :dothug and that makes me wonder why we don't have a polka dotted pig smiley
NO you are not a bad person at all!!! I have been to one since my loss & surprisingly I did much better than I thought I would. You'll probably do much better than you think too but if you don't feel like going it is 100% okay to NOT go. Don't feel bad. Don't even feel bad if you can't buy her a gift. It's a natural emotion.
I have a sort of friend, not sure if I should even call her that since she's a fairweather one... anyways, she got knocked up a month, month and a half after starting to date this guy. Never bothered calling, texting to tell me like she was hiding it. So whatever. I realize she knows about my 3 losses in 9 months, but she's not protecting me. Well, I'm getting invited to this cake "& ice cream event (baby shower) idk whether or not I could go and even look at her. I'm really disappointed in her, but most importantly it's my feelings, heart I want to protect. What if I were to go and couldn't look at her without crying, I'd feel like such a *******