[Celena]

I posted this because I've gotten some pm's about it... Some ladies are in a sensitive place that's all.

I think it's more the posts where it's in response to (ttcal lady) someone's question(s) where say a pregnant mommy graduate is posting an answer to, but has her siggy on and it's not something some of the ladies can handle seeing with their level of grief, anger, sadness, etc...

I personally love seeing and hearing from everyone who's graduated pregnant or after they've had their rainbow babies.

it's just something I thought I'd make mention of because of the PM's I've received, that's all. I know I cannot please everyone, but I try to fullfill requests as best I can.

and Missy, I agree with you honey... all of what you said as well, I could've personally written myself. So no offense taken!

I remember there being a post about pg siggy/tickers like this early when I came here as well kinda like this.


Hi Ladies,

While I'd like to send a to each of you who have graduated from TTCAL, also, would like to send out a little reminder on the sensitivity of others who are here Please take a moment to remember when you had just gone thru your loss(es) how RAW & EXPOSED your feelings were?

We've had allot of new ladies join us I'd like to ask those graduates who are still here in TTCAL to PLEASE turn off your siggy if it has a pregnancy ticker(s) on it.While it's not a rule, but as compassion to others feelings please consider it strongly. It's a very strong trigger of anguish and depression for those going thru currently, recently have gone thru or are struggling with the grief of their loss(es)


very much ladies!


Your fellow TTCAL sisters appreciate it





.

[KDD]

I completely understand. I do my best to turn it of when I post, if I do forget, please let me know and I'll gladly go back and change it. I've been in your shoes and remember how hard it is to see pregnancy tickers after a loss.

[MeganMomof5]

Thanks for the reminder

[Servilia]

Thanks Celena.

[Celena]

Awe Kimberly I don't think you ever forget so no worries!

We've had so many new people come and join lately, some fly right on out of here as well but forget in their excitement to turn it off...

I believe I've even been guilty of it a time or two.

[LisaG825]

I have been guilty. I keep forgetting. It is showing up in some of my old posts though b/c I didn't have it turned off then. That was before I found out!

[missy123]

Can I disagree about this? I am not trying to change the rules, just voice my opinion.

I think when I am in the loss board it is appropriate to turn off siggies as that is the place to really grieve and get that raw pain out. I just had a loss 3 weeks ago and am feeling that raw stabbing pain that makes you want to howl out... like it hurts so much that you just don't know how you will get through the next 10 minutes of your life. HOWEVER... I have the loss board for that.

Here is the "graduate" section of the loss board, 1 step up where we have healed enough to take that leap of faith and TTC again. Yes there are struggles and pain in this board but we should rejoice with our graduates that are pregnant and be happy for them because they understand where we are... They know, they get it... and they are always here for us when we need them.

They still hang out in here with us because they want us to graduate with them, they still care about us and give us strength and encouragement to go on TTC when we want to give up. They should happily show their siggies so we can be happy with them. The only time it frustrates me is when a fly-by person comes into our family and says "I got a BFP, thanks girls" and everyone is like "Um... who is that"?


Sorry Celena, I just needed to express that because it has been on my mind for 1 1/2 years... Delete this if you want to.

xoxoxo

[~LaurenNoel~]

I am guily of this. I thought I was only supposed to do it in Pregnancy Loss. My apologies.

[MeganMomof5]

I think some posts it's alright to have your siggy's/tickers, but I agree that when a loss is so fresh, and someone comes here newly to post about it,It hurts and it hurts bad to see someone's siggy/ticker...No matter how happy I am for others, when My losses were fresh, it did hurt to see so many other people that were pregnant, and I wasn't...I don't think that turning your siggy's off means they shouldn't be happy that they are pregnant, it's just respectful of people who recently had a loss...It doesn't really bother me now that my loss isn't fresh, but It has in the past...That's JMO...I admit that I didn't turn my siggy's off in the past, but that's only because I didn't know how...I am going to be very careful from now on if I ever do get pregnant again, just out of respect for others

[Pitridge]

I have mix feelings about this. I was on this board many years ago (Kimberly-KDD, Brittanie knows ) I actually liked to see the Grads because it gave you hope, they knew and understood.
Now, also because I was a Grad it got to the point in my pg that I stopped coming because I did not want to offend people, I would only post on some threads but not others.
I guess I understand both sides.

[ldovey83]

I am mixed about this also, but I totally agree with Missy also.. I do get offended by the fly by's also, but after staying here loss after loss I am happy to see other graduates tickers cause it gives me strength and hope that I too will get there one day..

[.:Shortcake:.]

IMO I love seeing the tickers here. It truly does give me hope that I will get my forever baby. Even when the pain was raw it just helped me. I know that's not the same for everyone but that's just me

[zkat]

I try really hard to remember to turn my siggy off when responding or posting. The only time I don't turn it off is when I am in a thread that has Pregnancy in the title. It is my compromise - I too always wanted to see the grads siggys when I was TTC, but I can see how someone who is not ready for it can totally be taken off guard by it.

Please - if I ever forget, smack me upside the head so I remember!

Kat.

[Celena]

Updated response in post 1

[mmllhh]

totally understandable celena, we are all in different places. How do you turn them off for some people and not for others, just for future reference when I get my BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[missy123]

Celena - I hope I did not cause too much grief... I am just pigheaded sometimes and can't help but voice myself.

xoxoxo

[~LaurenNoel~]

Can you explain again how to turn it off? I tried, but failed apparently.

[Celena]

No Missy, puhleeze, you're entitled to do so and it's ok.

[BeccaM]

I can understand both sides. I feel so much joy for those that have gotten their BFP's and love seeing how they graduated and it gives me hope. But during my dark times it does hurt too. The other week with my EDD it was hard to even come on the board because I didnt want to see anything related to pregnancy. It wasent that I wasent happy for others I was just sad for myself. But that would be something that I would need to deal with on my own and not get mad at others for posting their tickers.

Ok Im just rambling and being all wishy washy!

[Celena]

Rebecca I think allot of people feel that way or heck all of us really!

It's ok to feel that way, it's kinda like when others can't del with the sight of a pregnant woman or a newborn or hear about pregnancy on Facebook.... It's no the single person it's the issue as a whole with pregnancy how it triggers the grief anger sadness.... We know, it many varying way and degrees. It's hard to look at what you've lost or where you should be, think we can all agree with that

Lately my thoughts go to, "I wonder if she's has a difficult time ttc or suffered loss(es)" because it can happen to anybody and is far more common than we think! Totally off topic now sorry