[.:Shortcake:.]

How did you DH react to having one? My DH has been fighting me on this since I started seeing the doctor I'm seeing now. That is one of the first things she usually tests for an DH has not wanted this done (why I'm not sure... maybe he thinks if it is him that he is less of a man) Idk but I just feel like I've been through tons of tests I had surgery in July to remove endo and check my tubes everything and I feel like he's being selfish not wanting to do one test. It's not like he even has to do it into a cup. TMI they gave us this kit that has basically like a condom you use and then take to the lab within an hour for the test. Sorry for the questions I'm just curious if I'm alone or how you got DH to do the test.

[MeganMomof5]

i'm no help, but I don't think my husband would ever do it, and if he did i'd have to fight him to get it done...Good luck and I hope he changes his mind for you

[.:Shortcake:.]

Thanks Megan. I know it's going to be a fight but I feel like if that's what's causing all our losses and it's something that can be fixed that he needs to do it and get over it. My mother agrees but told me to be more "sensitive" to how it makes him feel.

[MeganMomof5]

I don't get what the big deal is...They do it all the time, this time you just have to take it to a lab LOL...Men, I seriously don't get them lol

[.:Shortcake:.]

Lol me either! I said to him that it's not like he has to do it alone or anything we BD and just use this condom and that's it...

[TTCin2010]

My dh didnt have a problem going to do it, but he was nervous, because he had to do it at the lab LOL poor guy. I thought he would feel less manly if it came back abnormal, but he's been fine with it.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Karen, I wish it was that simple with my DH!

[mlyster]

Katie, DH had one done and he agreed easily. I thought "wow... that was easy" however, getting him to make the appointment was a whole other issue. It just took him time to get to comfortable with the idea. I think what did it was going to the genetics counsellor and having him WATCH me get 8 vials of blood taken when he had one taken. I think he realized I was going through MUCH more than he was and one simple little test was not going to kill him. The geneticist also went through all the tests that I had already done before we went for the additional bloodwork so I know DH got the full magnitude of the situation thrown in his face (and I didn't have any sort of surgery or invasive procedures, just bloodwork and regular pap test).

Hopefully you can get DH to come around to a simple test. I think you are right in that most men think if it comes back poorly they will feel like less of a man.

Also, look into the test a bit. I was warned that doing the test using intercourse (the way it sounds like you have been instructed) would limit the amount of things they can test for. A friend of mine spent a year thinking her DH's SA was normal because they did it using intercourse and all came back good. Then a new doctor made him do it at a lab (alone) and they could test for one additional thing - that ended up being an issue.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Michelle thank you so much for the info! I will defiantly check that out. Might as well get the right one done if that's the case instead of having to talk him into it twice!

[ohnicole]

My DH did the test without too much of a fight (although he did complain for a week about having to do the "spooge test" ). Have you tried pointing out that to avoid more losses and more tears and putting you through more heartache you guys need to do everything you possibly can to find out what's wrong? I know some guys are just totally resistant to it... I hope he comes around.

[ldovey83]

Wow Katie.. I am sorry you have to fight him on this.. I am hoping that it dosen't go into that direction with me cause I know my DH would fight me tooth and nail on it... They think that just because they jizz that they are functioning properly or that because they are getting us pregnant that everything is fine on their end.. So I know I would be in for a fight too.. Hang in there hun..

[.:Shortcake:.]

We just had a LONG talk... he agreed that if I really want him to (which of course I do or I wouldn't be bugging him) that he will do it just for me lol. But hey I will take what I can get.

[KAB]

My DH refused. I'm glad that yours agreed to do it, and I hope that you will be able to get some answers soon so that you can go on to have a healthy and successful pregnancy.

[tobi4]

Im so glad hes agreed Katie! I totally understand how hard its been for you with dh not wanting the test. I had to sit him down and tell him that if we are going to have a baby, then I fully expect to be equals and if him having to do a test was required then thats the way it is.
I hope that now hes agreed, he actually makes the appointment!

[Celena]

Katie my DH hasn't had it done, he was totally weirded out when I first mentioned it to him. I do agree with you and believe that it has everything to do with an ego, pride and "it can't be me" of allot of dh's. If a lady hasn't gotten pg, has had a loss or multiple losses men (and us) automatically go to "there's something wrong with her (me)" when in reality it's far more commong that men have some abnormalities with their spermies, mortality or mobility. No one wants to think there's something wrong, but in reality our lovely DH's do need to be more proactive (perhaps better informed too so they wouldn't get a complex)

Has your RE done the PC test already? (I swear I thought you saying you had one done) We did, the "homework" dh loved but he didn't like knowing she was going to look at his swimmers either. I swear his baby butter factories went up into his throat when I told him we looked at his soldjah's under the microscope (uber cool btw) about that, until I told him we saw them swimming away and a decent amount. Sure wished she'd of done the sa from it tho He's one of those that "couldn't possibly have anything wrong with him"

[missy123]

My husband didn't think twice about it. When we met with the RE the doctor said it was an important part of the process. From your stories I am really lucky. He never complained or anything. I wasn't home when he had his appointment, but he did his thing in the cup provided and that was it. I had an appointment a week later for bloodwork and when I got home he asked what the results were.

Girls, what if you end up doing an IUI? He would still have to do it in a cup.

Tell them how important this is to you.