[Halfbaked]

I got a phone call from my sister today. She doesn't know about this latest MC. She was calling for advice. She does foster parenting and they want her to take in a baby on Friday. She wanted advice because the baby she is taking in was born at 26-28 weeks and will be released before 36 weeks. They are looking for a placement that could possibly lead to adoption (She has already adopted 3 kids).

I had the worst case of jealousy hit me. Not just for the fact that she will have a baby in a couple days, but also that the baby is being released so soon (Mine always stayed in the NICU until their due date). She got to just skip over all the bad stuff. She is going to visit him in the NICU today. I'm happy for her because she wanted more kids but had to have her tubes tied, b ut I'm jealous at the same time. She's going to be sending me pictures of him after she visits him and I know when I see them I'm just going to burst into tears.

Just needed to tell someone. Thanks for listening.
Boy, I've sure been venting a lot lately

[ashj_1218]

How could you not be envious? You not only desperately want another little baby, but you also gave birth to multiple preemies who you waited and watched on bated breath for months in the hospital. And she just gets one handed to her at a healthy age/weight/and without trying. I know that that sounds harsh, but that is basically what happened. It IS good that she gets a little one when she wants more, but I can't see how anyone couldn't see your point of view. That has to be so hard. I would lose it even if my SIL (no sisters living) told me she was pregnant, much less bringing home a little baby this week. Let yourself cry, and be sure to do what works for you. Don't feel that you have to be involved to the point that it feels harmful to you. Hang in there

[ohnicole]

I'm sorry, Rebecca That jealousy can be so strong, and after what you're going through, I don't blame you at all, honey I hope you can take some time away from your sister to heal a little and start to process things.

[ldovey83]

Oh Rebecca.. I am so sorry to hear that.. I think you're feelings are totally normal, and after everything you have been through I don't blame you hun.. Your sister should understand.. Hang in there. We are all here for you.

[MeganMomof5]

(((Hugs)))) I would be jealous too!!! We are here if you need to vent any time

[Halfbaked]

Thanks guys. I don't have to take time away from my sister. She lives in another country (Canada). I miss her though and that's why she is the only one that knows about my MC from before. I'm not sad, I'm jealous, almost angry. It's a weird emotion. I could handle it if I was upset and could just cry, but I'm not. It's just a strange place to be in.