Had a very hard day. (babies, dd, mentioned)

msshamis23 · #1 October 26th, 2010, 05:56 PM

Me and my ex are cordial; If not friends. We maintain a very good relationship for Kiki. Well, as you know he recently had another baby with his G/F, and their son is roughly two months old. He's been having problems with Kiki acting up, and not being nice to him, etc. We know why of course, because she feels like shes not getting enough attention from them, because she never acts that way when shes at my house.

So he asked me to come over and spend the day with them, and Kiki so we could try and figure out a way to stop her from doing these things. I agreed, mostly because I missed my lil monster.

I didn't realize how hard it was going to be. Kiki was being nice to him when I was there, and she was being so cute with him, and then being around the two month old in general was hard; and with my EDD one month away, did not help any. I just kept thinking, that could of been me three months from now. Three months from now, I could have been playing with my baby just like they are theirs.

Finally after spending most of the day there, I just couldn't take it, I had them take me home. I am close to tears, and I don't know what to do about it, or to stop it.

ohnicole · #2 October 26th, 2010, 06:11 PM

I'm so sorry, Amy

It was so amazing of you to agree to put yourself through such a difficult day for the sake of your little girl! Let yourself cry it out if you need to. Those feelings are so real and so justified. Life just isn't fair- I wish that we never had to be slapped in the face by what we could have had and lost

You will get your chance to have that day with your baby, Amy! I'm here if you need to talk.

tobi4 · #3 October 26th, 2010, 06:21 PM

Awww Amy, Im so sad for you. Go ahead and cry hun. You need to. It wasnt that long ago, and you are still grieving. Maybe not the sobbing, horrible pain that was in the very beginning, but there will be experiences that will bring you right back to that day, like today, that will tear into you. I had one of those recently, totally unexpected, and I have gone back a little bit in how I thought I was healing, but all it really did, was point out how much I still hurt.
Many hugs Amy. We are all going to get through it, maybe just a little easier because we have eachother to lean on.

ldovey83 · #4 October 26th, 2010, 08:12 PM

Oh Amy... I am so sorry you had to go through that.. You are a strong person for doing what you did.. I too have that constant reminder everytime I go to my friends house, and see her new baby.. It isn't easy, and I too find myself fighting back tears. We are all here for you and love you.. Vent to us anytime..

msshamis23 · #5 October 26th, 2010, 11:48 PM

Thank you girls. I don't know what I would do if I hadn't found you. No one else seems to understand, and I'm beginning to think no one will but you.

ashj_1218 · #6 October 27th, 2010, 04:45 AM

That is so sad

I would have felt the same way. Although I vary widely between wanting to cry forever and wanting to throw something against a wall. Life is NOT FAIR. And it sucks that you had to go through such a hard experience. I commend you for doing it for the sake of your little lady. That was truely selfless. I hope harder than ever that you get your rainbow baby soon

Pitridge · #7 October 27th, 2010, 08:16 AM

I'm so sorry.....It's amazing the things we will do for our kids and putting yourself through that says a lot about how strong you are. I know you have heard this thousands of times and you are sick of it, but I do believe that you will get your rainbow baby pretty soon.