[msshamis23]

As it's nearing closer to November, i've noticed that I have a whirlwind of emotions going all sorts of ways.

November marks the month that the doctor wanted me to go back and see him to talk about fertility options--if I'm not pg by then. I'm not sure how to feel about it. I mean i'll be happy to be trying something different, and get a more hands on view of whats going on with me, and where I stand in my cycles, but I'm still not sure how to feel.

November 14 is our 1 year anniversary. Which of course is amazingly awesome, and I can't believe how fast this year has gone!

November 27th marks my EDD. And that alone, is nearly enough to make my anniversary not as amazing. I want this to be a happy time, a happy month; but with that looming right in front of me I'm having a hard time believing it will be that way.

I love love love the holiday season, but I fear mine are going to be plagued by what I should have--and don't. I know i'm being ridiculous and should be happy for what I do have. My life, my DD, my wonderful hubby--and I'm kind of feeling selfish because i'm stuck on what I could of had. Should of had.

What we all should have.

I suppose life just isn't fair that way, and I need to put on my big girl panties and deal with it.

It's hard.

[ohnicole]

Awww, Amy, I wish I could come give you a huge hug

The month of your EDD is just hard, hon. And it is okay if you are thankful for the wonderful things you do have, but still sad for the precious little one you have lost. I hope you don't beat yourself up too much for feeling sad. It's all a part of this difficult journey

I hope that when you go in to see your doctor, you can start some testing/treatment that will help you put all this TTC behind you.

[Halfbaked]

It's totally normal to feel happy for what you have and feel sad for what you've lost. I hope you'll be able to get answers from your doctor. Maybe having new hope that he can help will ease all those sad emotions. I hope so. Hang in there. We're all here for you.

[shen7]

Amy I just want to tell you that you are awesome, and

[ldovey83]

Awww Amy huge hugs!!! It is totally normal to feel these emotions it is part of the healing.. I too have 2 angel EDD for the month of my anniversary and it is very hard and you do have all these emotions going through your mind.. HUGS!!!