So scared.. first DD is coming up

Servilia · #1 October 31st, 2010, 08:08 PM

I'm not real active here so some of you won't remember me. I've been TTC for a year (like exactly, maybe to the day) and I had a loss in March and a loss this month. My first DD is coming up November 21 and I am sooo scared that I'll lose it mentally and emotionally. I'm dreading it so much. I was doing fine between my two losses and I didn't think I'd have a problem with my DD. But I find myself tearing up just thinking about it.

When I got pregnant the second time, in August, I thought ok, I won't have a problem with the first DD since I'll be pregnant.. but then I lost that baby too.
How do you guys deal with it?

asunflower · #2 November 1st, 2010, 05:14 AM

I have had to deal with that 6 times. It is hard but I just try to focus on getting pregnant again and look for something positive happening right now to get through the day. It is never easy and even before and after the DD I still have thoughts of what life would be like but I just forge ahead and look for a BFP that sticks!

ohnicole · #3 November 1st, 2010, 06:08 AM

I'm sorry for your losses

EDDs are so hard. The only thing I've found to help with those kinds of days is to stay busy. On our Angelversary, we were able to take a small camping trip, and that really helped me to stay calm emotionally. You can make it through that DD!

megkatkoz · #4 November 1st, 2010, 06:52 AM

Hi Judy! When my baby Gabriel's due date came up, I stayed home from work in anticipation of just being really upset. But really, my husband helped and we made it a celebration of a day that we could remember our son - doing lots of things to honor him and even just talking about future baby plans- it helped to think about arriving on the other side of loss. I will be thinking of you that day. I have been following your journal and am happy about you meeting with the RE. Hopefully you can get back to TTCing soon.

*SamF* · #5 November 1st, 2010, 07:24 AM

I typically take the head in the sand approach. I try to ignore that it's here. I know not the healthiest way, but it sort of works for me.

MeganMomof5 · #6 November 1st, 2010, 08:54 AM

i'm sorry your going through this

...I have gone through a lot of EDD in the last year, and a birthday...I have to say that the days leading up to those days, were worse than the actual day...After I passed Ella's birthday, things have gotten better for me...I agree that it's best to stay busy, but if you need to take some time for yourself, do it! Sometimes it's good to let out a good cry...I think it helps a lot

(((Hugs)))

missy123 · #7 November 1st, 2010, 09:01 AM

My DD is November 21 as well, we should be celebrating our baby's 1st birthday. I am like Sam, I put my head in the sand and pretend it isn't that day. I know denial isn't healthy but it is the way I cope with it sometimes.

Pitridge · #8 November 1st, 2010, 09:44 AM

I'm so sorry.......Don't hate me, but my DD I was pg with ds, so it was a bit easier. many

for you.

luvmykids623 · #9 November 1st, 2010, 03:54 PM

I take the head in the sand approach too. It's not the healthiest thing in the world but it helps me keep going. I agree with Megan too though, that the days leading up are often worse than the actual day.

Servilia · #10 November 1st, 2010, 07:44 PM

Thanks for your input ladies. I will maybe try the head in the sand approach. My first DD happens to be the day before my bro's bday so I don't want to be down.. and my second DD is my mom's bday, how cruel is that!!??

.:Shortcake:. · #11 November 2nd, 2010, 08:35 AM

For my DD I was the opposite of most. DH and I send balloons up to our angel (and also one for all the other angels) and wrote on it. I didn't want people to act like it never happened because it did and that is my baby even though they aren't here with me. HUGS! I pray that whatever you decide to do that you are at peace.

Celena · #12 November 2nd, 2010, 05:29 PM

I try to block it out and get past the date, but that never happens without me being depressed all over again... Think perhaps if I embraced the day for what it was maybe I wouldn't have been depressed leading up and after. It IS a very sad day knowing where we should be or close to... I just don't know of a "good" way to deal to share with you hon, I'm sorry.

Some make memorials, scrapbook, create a special box with pictures or memories of their LO, engravings, poetry

dreamer10 · #13 November 3rd, 2010, 08:38 AM

The head in the sand approach can work...but in my opinion you just need to take tha day off of work, sit in your jammy pants and cry your eyes out. You need to....that was your baby you lost. Their little message to you, whatever that might have been would be lost if you just try to forget.... so cry, cry and look at ultrasound pics, bury your head in the pillows...whatever it takes. Crying and hurting is normal and you need to allow yourself that. I am so sorry you've lost two babies this year and I would cry with you if I were there.....sorry again....

Celena · #14 November 3rd, 2010, 07:06 PM

Not to hijack this thread, but Julie you are such a kind sweet soul momma... God has blessed those who's lives you touch because you're an angel on Earth.

Servilia · #15 November 3rd, 2010, 07:33 PM

Thanks again..
Julie I think I might do that.. it might help for closure. Thank you...

Lex&angels · #16 November 4th, 2010, 02:57 AM

HUGS Judy... My first EDD is coming up soon too... I thought so much that the edge would be taken off by being pregnant again but it just hurts more.
I'd say to plan ahead with things you know comfort you - a mix of music to make you cry, and some to make you feel better, any memories you have, just take the day off... HUGS