[ldovey83]

I was doing so well, and then here lately I have been in this funk, and I can't seem to get out of it... Everything is getting to me.. I have been angry, and depressed... Lastnight I had a dream that I had my baby, and that I was doing all those new mommy things, and sharing all those bonds, and when I woke up to find that it was all a dream, my heart was crushed again.. I feel I am safe no where!! This pain is eating me from the inside out... I have no way to let it out, and no way to begin to heal.. No one to talk too about it!! I am afraid it is getting out of control...I need answers, and I need to move on.. This isn't healthy for me.. MY LIFE SUCKS!! My heart is breaking not only for me, but for everyone who has had to go through this especially multiple losses with no answers... What are we suppose to learn from this? All I have learned is how to avoid the baby section, and many other things I thought I would never do one being extremely jealous of anyone who is pregnant with not a care in the world.. Never having to fear of loosing thier precious baby.. I will never have that feeling again.. It has been robbed from me. The very miracle of life.. I have a babyshower this weekend, and I am sweating it.. Everyone is so excited to see me again, and the closer it gets, the more I am scared.. I am afraid of loosing it, and going into an even deeper funk.. Sorry ladies just needed to get this off my chest..


Thanks so much for letting me vent!!!!!

[MeganMomof5]

(((hugs))) I understand how your feeling, I too have been there many times in the last year...It's really not fair that this happens to anyone ...I hope you get out of the funk soon, and things start looking up for you...We are all here for you any time you need us....have you thought about finding a support group in your area? The group I've been going to, has helped me so much.

[msshamis23]

*hugs* I'm right there with you honey. Dreams can be really sucky sometimes. And there isn't an escape from them. Vent to us all you want though--we are definitely here for you, and you will always have a virtual shoulder/shoulders to cry on.

I have a baby shower this weekend as well--and I am not looking forward to it--it's my niece and she found out she was pregnant the day I found out I had my loss. There's no getting out of it though because she's family.

[Brittanie]

I don't really have much else to add. I really hope that you get some answers soon.

[Halfbaked]

I'm sorry you are going through this. It just isn't fair but we totally understand. If you go to the shower and break down crying, I'm sure others will understand. Maybe a real shoulder to cry on will help. Talking to someone, anyone, and having them just listen can help.
We're always here for you. Vent away, cry, scream, sleep, get mad. Whatever you feel will help. You don't have to pretend like everything is ok when it's not. A support group would be great if you can find one where you live.

[Lex&angels]

Did I write this in my sleep? I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, but I'm in the same place right now so I have no clue how to get out. HUGS.

[*SamF*]

I know how you feel. I could have written this post too. It really sucks to know that we will never know what it is like to be pregnant without a worry in the world.
I hope the baby shower isn't to bad for you this weekend!

[ohnicole]

I'm so sorry, Lindsey I am right there with on the thinking 'What am I supposed to learn from this?' or 'What am I supposed to gain from this?' Whatever it may be, however I am supposed to grow through this experience, there had to be a way for it to happen without my baby dying. The price is too high.

I hope that you're able to make it through the baby shower and that it's easier than you're expecting. Life is just unfair

[luvmykids623]

Oh Lindsey, I wish we lived closer so I could give you a great big hug, and then you'd have someone to talk to as well. I'm sorry that you're in such a dark place. I feel like I could have written this myself. I've been asking myself and anyone else who will listen "what am I supposed to learn from this" for weeks. It kills me that we all have to go through this. I pray that you're able to get answers soon. Like I said on facebook, I hope that dream was a premonition of wonderful things to come.

[ldovey83]

Ladies thank you so much for all the kind replies.. I am definitely going to look into a support group around here.. I need some way to talk, and heal.... I did talk to my friend a little about how emotional I have been and how I am afraid to loose it at her shower, and she said she understands.. They really want me to be there, and they will all be there for me if I need it.. So that made me feel good to know that..

[missy123]

I am sorry Lindsay... I hope you find a good support group. ((Hugs)) It all just sucks.

[.:Shortcake:.]

HUGS! I am right there with you. There are no support groups around this area... but I know alot of ladies that have lost a child so I do have some support IRL.

[missy123]

Lindsay - How is everything at home? How is DH and DS? You have been through a lot in the past year and with that amount of stress, it is normal to feel the way you are. Vent away, shout, yell, cry... we hear you and understand.

[Servilia]

vent all you want, we're here for you. I think a support group would be a great idea!

[ldovey83]

Originally Posted by missy123

Lindsay - How is everything at home? How is DH and DS? You have been through a lot in the past year and with that amount of stress, it is normal to feel the way you are. Vent away, shout, yell, cry... we hear you and understand.

Missy things at home are going... DH is doing great putting in alot of hours to make as much money as possible.. My son has been a handful, but not anything different then I am used to dealing with.. I just hit a rough patch, and took a down hill spiral, and I am sure I will be fine, and go back up hill. Thanks for all being here ladies, and listening, and offering kind words and hugs..