[Pame£a]

I'm so excited and nervous at the same time. I'll try to give a short version of my story

I used to come on here as *Pamela* but left after I got some really sad news about our baby. I was about 10 weeks and on vacation at the beach, started bleeding and they got me in for a scan the next week down where we were. They found a very large cystic hygroma that extended into his chest. We were sent for another scan and a cvs. We were told that the measurement looked smaller but still had concerns and I was given a 1% chance of a chromosomal abnormality. The next day I was I was to fly out to spend a month with my family in the states with my 2 younges. A few hours before leaving we got the call that our baby did have T21. I felt like the wind was knocked out of me. We were told that they would do a very detailed scan of his heart a few weeks after we got back but he was born sleeping on 10 Sept at 19 weeks. I'm heartbroken but am healing. I have mostly good days now but still cry sometimes. His name was Elijah Christopher.

I have 3 living children and 1 other angel baby and used to be a part of this board for 18 months when ttc after our first loss.

Both my dh and I had decided that he would get the snip snip but somehow that hasn't happened. Then earlier this week, I was going to sell off the rest of the baby stuff and I peeped around the bedroom door and said that I didn't want to sell it.....long pause......I want to keep it....long pause and he gets this big grin on his face and says well then, we better get jiggy with it then...lol

I'm super excited and super nervous, my risk is still 1%. I won't go for any testing this time and will ask for additional scans. I feel that if I can be that 1% for T21 then I can be that 1% for miscarriage if I chose to invasive testing. I just can't risk that if I'm blessed again.

I know some of you ladies from being on this board before or from PAL and I think I saw a member from my old Feb DDC.

I'm so sorry that you ladies are here but am grateful to know there is support and care here.

[BeccaM]

Hi Pamela. I am so sorry for your losses. As you already know this group of ladies are wonderful. I hope your stay with us is short!

[*~ Joni ~*]

Sorry to hear about your losses. trying again!

[ohnicole]

I am so sorry for everything you have been through I hope you get a sticky BFP right away!

[okiliz]

I am so sorry hon .. I don't think you ever really get over a loss but it does get better.. I hope you are not here long and get your BFP super soon
!!!!

[Pame£a]

Thanks ladies. I'm really praying I'm pregnant right now but don't know. We bd'd on the 3rd late at night and the next afternoon was when I got ewcm and the next day got my temp spike. I have some symptoms but I've been there before in reading too much.

I'm a bit too worried about getting preggo just one cycle from loss but I have put my faith in God and either way He will see me through.

anyway, going to test on Sunday, af is due on Tues. I have one more FRER left.

[Joanna1127]

I hope your stay here is short!!

[Brittanie]

Pamala!!! YAY!! I'm so excited for you! I hope you really are pregnant already, that'd be great.

Loads of super sticky baby dust to you!!

[Pame£a]

Thank you Brittanie, I want to test now but can't cave.

[Halfbaked]

Welcome! I'm sorry for everything you've been through but hopefully, your stay here will be short.

[Lynley]

Welcome, Pamela! Thanks for sharing your story. Hope you only need that one FRER! ;0)

[missy123]

Welcome back Pamela. I remember you from before. I completely understand your fears. Hope your stay is short.

[avasmom603]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I too hope your stay is short

[ldovey83]

Hi Pamela. I remember you.. I am so sorry to hear about your loss... So happy you are back, and I hope you get good news, and your stay is short and sweet.. Best of luck to you hun.

[tobi4]

Welcome (back) to the board! Hopefully you dont get caught here very long!

[luvmykids623]

I'm so sorry for all you've been through! I hope you get your sticky bfp soon!!

[Pame£a]

Thank you all so much. I hope you all get your bfps too.

Lindsey, I was so sad when you left the Feb DDC, there were so many losses there. I hope my Elijah is the last.