A midwife just called me and told me that she felt that a D&E (D&C but I think they call them D&E here?) was the best option for me. She told me that my baby is so big that I will lose too much blood and end up in the hospital.

Can anyone give me some experience in this area? I REALLY do not want to have a procedure done, it really feels wrong to me...but I don't want to end up in the ER either. If my body hasn't passed my baby by now and it's already been two weeks since it passed away, it probably isn't coming on its own so I'm thinking I have no choice but to get the procedure.

Can I be put to sleep for it? I want to experience as little physical pain as possible, the emotional is plenty.

[Toots216]

I don't have any personal experience, but I do know that a D&C (dilation and curettage) is different from a D&E (dilation and extraction). I have a friend who had a D&E when she started to m/c at 10-11 weeks, and I know for sure she was put to sleep for it. Plus she went on to have a healthy baby not too long afterwards. I think they perform D&E's when you are farther along in your pregnancy, not 100% sure on that though.

FWIW, having a natural miscarriage is not an easy thing in my opinion. If I had to do it over again, I would have opted to have the procedure if it had been offered to me, but it's a really personal choice. For me, it felt like the m/c carried on for weeks, bc they had to keep monitoring my bloodwork.

Good luck and sending you T&Ps!!

[*SamF*]

I keep answering you in pm's.

but to elaborate on what i sent you-
I had a D&C and was put out for it. I healed very quickly physically, I ovulated last weekend- waiting for AF now, and if my luteal phase holds she should show in a week.
Comparing my two later m/c's the D&C was much easier physically and emotionally because it was over so quickly. Not that I didn't have emotional issue with the D&C, it's just that instead of cramping and bleeding for almost 4 weeks, it was over in about a week- and most was just spotting.

[*Tracy*]

I replied in your other thread

but u should be put to sleep for it and from my experience u should get any pain after either and little to no bleeding

[asunflower]

I am not sure the difference between a D&C and a D&E but I have had 4 of them in the past year and a half. The farthest along I got was 11 weeks. I was put to sleep for all of them and minimal cramping afterwards and bleeding like a period for about 2 weeks. I would go for the procedure so that you can move on. Having the baby inside of you hurts emotionally and waiting is so hard. It may take many more weeks until your body decides to miscarry according to my doctors. So I would go ahead and get the procedure and get ready to heal and move forward physically and emotionally. But that is just me. Good luck.

[MeganMomof5]

I was told the same thing when I lost my baby at 15 weeks...My doctor told me that the baby was too big and it wasn't safe for me to miscarry at home...My D&C wasn't bad, I was put to sleep and I don't remember any of it, which i'm glad for...When I had a natural miscarriage in August at 9 weeks, it was very very VERY painful and very tramatizing...I think even though the D&C seems like something you don't want to do, it's something that I would recomend doing...I'm not sure if you remember me Tiffany, but i'm sorry your having a miscarriage (((Hugs)))

[dreamer10]

Same thing with me. My baby died at 13 weeks and my doc told me that I was far enough along that a d&c would be safer, and that's what we opted to do. After 3 natural miscarriages I will never regret going for the d&c. It was so much better. I didn't bleed near as hard, my recovery was faster and the hcg left my system much faster. I wish I had done that with the other pregnancies. Live and learn I guess. Good luck!

IDK what the difference is really but I know that the midwife said D&E, she even explained the extraction part. What about burying it? James doesn't want to throw our baby in the trash or down a toilet bowl, we want to bury it because it was our baby...

will we have anything to bury? Even if it's EVERYTHING that was in there? Just so her tiny little body isn't desecrated in some gross biohazard bin?

And Megan, I know exactly who you are. I wrote more about that in my intro thread. All the times I spent crying for you and James looking over my shoulder and telling me to stop reading and making myself so sad. And now I'm on the same site, crying for myself. Now I know exactly what feelings I've always been crying for.

[*Tracy*]

when i had mine on monday the remains were cremated through the hospital, idk what different hospitals do or even different country's x x

but im sure if u ask all your questions will be answered by the doc

[MeganMomof5]

D&C and D&E I think are almost the same thing...I think they call it a D&E the farther along you are (I actually had a D&E in April, not sure why I called it a D&C)...As far as burrying it goes, i'm not sure...I requested that my baby's remains be sent from pathology to be cremated and I actually went to a service for that baby and it fell on Ella's birthday...It was burried in "babyland" at the cemetary with other babies lost before 20 weeks...I would ask about that...I don't think that they would give you the remians and honestly i'm not sure if you'd want to see them after a D&E...I read the pathology report from my D&E and i'm honestly glad I didn't see the baby ...The baby I miscarried at home, I did see, and i'm glad I did, but I would of still rather of not had to go through the pain of the miscarriage at home (with my kids here)...I took that baby into my doctor's office because they were going to run tests, but they never did ...I hope you make the choice that's best for you, and whatever it is, I hope it's easy on you.

Originally Posted by *Tracy*

im sure if u ask all your questions will be answered by the doc

Yeah sure as soon as I can get a hold of one. I have been given the run around my entire pregnancy. I got ZERO prenatal care and am now still dealing with trying to find a freaking OB or ANYONE to care for me. I'm beginning to hate this city.

[*Tracy*]

im so lucky i live in the uk where we have nhs and everything was done for me, im so so sorry u are having to deal with this its not fair x x

[*SamF*]

At 9 1/2 weeks I was given the choice to take the remains or not. I chose to have the hospital send the placenta for testing and the rest would be cremated. I thought about taking the remains to be buried, but honestly since baby was measuring behind, if I m/c naturally I wouldn't have seen much more than a clot.

Apparently that is the lost common choice at the hospital I was at too.