Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss
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November 21st, 2010, 03:37 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Heart of Rural England
Posts: 1,308
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I'm so hurt right now. he still thinks he was saying he wasn't completey ready ttc but his mouth and words said differently.
but it's over.
No more babies, the monitor has been reset and it's all getting sold. I feel like I've suffered another loss.
thanks for all the support. I'll probably just lurk since I don't really have a reason for being here.
I pray for all you that all your dreams come true.
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Thank you Claire1979 for my beautiful siggy!
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November 21st, 2010, 03:41 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Southern PA
Posts: 13,228
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I am so sorry you are going through this... We got to that point and I had given up when we ended up with a very huge surprise BFP a few months later!
((Hugs)) you are more than welcome to stay here, as you can tell I don't always stay on topic 
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November 21st, 2010, 04:07 PM
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Tobi
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,616
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Im sorry Pamela. I know exactly what you mean, and it really does feel like another loss doesnt it? And you know what? It is. It absolutely is another loss. You are going to grieve for the loss of the dreams and hopes you have started for your next baby, joining your family. Sometimes men suck, who says they should be able to have that final decision anyway? (I know I know, it needs to be a joint decision, but come on!) Your wants need to be addressed as well!
You are welcome to stay here with us, in case you havent noticed, we are tough to leave behind!
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November 21st, 2010, 04:27 PM
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just me
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 39,667
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Oh Pamela, I'm so sorry.  Tobi's right, it is a very real and valid loss. I'm sorry that it's so one-sided, but it always seems to be in these things.
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November 21st, 2010, 04:31 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 2,936
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I am very sorry you are going through this. Never say never, maybe in time he will change his mind. We had shut down the idea of more kids since my daughter has significant special needs with no diagnosis. They couldn't tell us if it would happen again and honestly, I couldn't handle it physically if I had two with those kinds of needs. Now that my 40th is approaching in a month we have decided to wing it and go for it. The idea of her having a sibling to speak for her when we are gone outweighed the fear of having another We had decided against it for seven years. So, see, never say never. Hang in there sweetie.
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 10/1/10
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November 21st, 2010, 04:46 PM
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Super Mommy
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 994
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I am so sorry, it really hurts when Dh/SO does not support our dreams.
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November 21st, 2010, 04:47 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,488
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So sorry to hear this, Pamela. Like the other ladies said, it is a very real loss, so give yourself time to grieve and heal. Please stick around - we'd miss you if you left!
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November 21st, 2010, 04:49 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 14,553
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Hugs! I am so sorry. I agree with the other ladies. And I'm hoping with time your DH agrees to try again. Please feel free to stick around. We love all our ladies even the ones who aren't ttc
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November 21st, 2010, 05:06 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 5,673
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I'm so sorry. I do know how it feels. My DH was set against anymore babies but he never did anything permanent so I just never said anything about it and in time, he came around. I hope your DH just needs some time. I agree about not leaving though. This group of ladies are hard to leave.
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November 21st, 2010, 06:13 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 22,162
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sending you many hugs! I hope your DH turns around.
HUGS!
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November 22nd, 2010, 07:28 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 9,815
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OH Pamela, I'm so sorry...... I don't even know what to say.....I know this is so hard for you......Can it be that he's scare and not ready? I'm so sorry....I'm here for you.
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November 22nd, 2010, 09:07 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,787
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I agree completely with Tobi, and could never say it as well! Good luck to you and let's hope your hubby will change his mind!!
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November 22nd, 2010, 09:18 AM
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POAS Queen
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 3,947
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Everyone else has already put it so well... I'm sorry DH is putting you through all of this, and it's definitely a valid loss, one that you have every right to grieve over. Hopefully everything reverses soon and you guys will continue to grow your family. Please don't go!
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With us on earth for five short days, with us in our hearts forever.
(Thank you Natasha for this beautiful graphic of Andrew, and to the ladies of the Nov 10 PR who help me in carrying on his memory.)
Jan. 2009: Came off years of BCP and started TTC
March 2010: BFP -- finally!
Oct. 22, 2010: Drew is born, but has to stay in the NICU because of cord complications resulting in oxygen deprivation and brain problems =(
Oct. 27, 2010: I held him in my arms while Daddy, Grandma, Great-Uncle and I sang him to sleep =( Hardest thing I've ever done...
June 14, 2011: Drew's baby brother or sister waved hi to us with a BFP!
June 25, 2011: Natural miscarriage... Can we please catch a break here?
Nov. 2011: 100mg Clomid followed by 2mg Estrogen, Ovidrel trigger, and 200mg progesterone suppositories 2x/day 14 days. BFN.
Dec. 2011: 2nd medicated cycle. BFN.
Jan. 2012: Took a month off to breathe...
Feb. 2012: Same regimen of Clomid and other meds, add IUI. 2 eggs and 8.5 million swimmers. BFN.
March 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-11, follie scan CD 8 showed 6 follies likely to mature. Triggered, IUI on CD 14, 4 million swimmers. BFN.
April 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-10. Scan showed 2 mature follies, 2 almost certain to mature, and two not likely but possible. (All 6 evenly and perfectly spaced out between the left and the right.) Triggered, IUI CD 13 with 5 million swimmers. BFN.
May 2012: 75 IU Follistim starting CD 3. Waiting to O. Timed intercourse. Likely 5 follies to mature.
^^ Click graphic for chart ^^
 
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November 22nd, 2010, 10:11 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,944
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I am so sorry  I hope that time will change his mind.
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Thanks, Katie (.:Shortcake:.) for the adorable siggy!
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November 22nd, 2010, 10:13 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: huddersfield uk
Posts: 19,232
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pamela
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November 22nd, 2010, 11:05 AM
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Wife/Mommy/Photographer
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oneida, TN
Posts: 7,313
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I am new here and don't know all the details but I hope he changes his mind 
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November 22nd, 2010, 11:29 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 16,285
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Just wanted to add my  Hope he does change his mind.
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Waiting for our ELF to get here!
Thank you .:Shortcake:.!! for my awesome siggy!
My Forever Babies- 07/20087.5 weeks, 10/2008 4.5 weeks 12/2008 4 weeks 06/2009 our twin 7.5 weeks 08/2010 4 weeks 10/2010 Mr. Spud 9.5 weeks 04/2011 twins 6 weeks
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November 22nd, 2010, 11:39 AM
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Jordana Jacoby & Jamason
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: PA and AZ
Posts: 8,244
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Ugh. I too hope he comes around.
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Thank you Jaidynsmum for the awesome siggy!
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November 22nd, 2010, 12:14 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,700
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Pamela I am so sorry DH is being unfair like that.. Sometimes I hate when guys do that.. Like they are all that matters and what we want dosen't.. That is similar to what I am going through with my DH.. After 4 losses he tells me that he really isn't ready for another one, but I think there is more to it.. He makes different excuses for different things.. I want to offer huge hugs. Do hang around.. It is still great to have the support when you need it..
__________________
 Thanks Katie for the siggy!
MY Angels: Angelbean5-28-09 Stickybean8-13-09 SweetAngel6-1-10 Raindrop8-13-10
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November 22nd, 2010, 01:21 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Heart of Rural England
Posts: 1,308
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You ladies are so amazing.
I was looking at getting a new buggy for Gabriella and the car seat adaptors are on sale. Dirt cheap. He saw them and I just said it's not like we'll need them anyway and he said don't count things out just yet.
I don't know, I'm just trying to stay strong and stuff like this makes it so hard.
I'll def stick around, I want to be here when you all get your positives!
Thanks so much for the support, means so much to me.
__________________
Thank you Claire1979 for my beautiful siggy!
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» Trying to Conceive and Family Planning
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Well, it's definately over
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