I'm not very comfortable writing that in the title yet, so I'm minimizing it as much as possible.

I had my D&E yesterday (it was definitely called a D&E, it was written on all of the papers butI wish I could figure out what this D&E/D&C mixup was about!!)

We found out that since it was a religious hospital (and we asked for prayer at every turn, even to pray over our baby after they took her out), they bury all of the pre-term babies together every other month in a cemetary and have a service every other month. I feel so much better hearing that than having her just be tossed into some bin to be thrown away, it just feels like pure desecration of her body to me.

I feel much better but it's Thanksgiving and I'm having cramping and despite delivering my last baby naturally, I don't have the same tolerance for it because I don't get REWARDED this time, you know? The pain medications don't seem to help much so I'm basically not bothering...my sister (she's 20) started a huge argument with me early this morning because I told her that some of the comments she made to me about my loss were dumb...like "All of my friends who've had one miscarriage have another one" and "Yeah all my friends were saying that your baby looked so developed and none of them lost their babies so late" or the self-centered "OMG f--- my life, I'm gonna be all fat in the uterus on Thanksgiving because I got my period." (Yeah, YOUR life sucks.) So my day has begun horribly and my mother is angry at me and saying "It's Thanksgiving, you're being ridiculous." as if my baby means nothing compared to some freaking holiday. I'm sort of dreading going to my mom's because of my sister...she told me that I'm playing the victim and I twist everything and everyone hates me or something like that. Just a bunch of horrible and mean things.

Sorry to rant, I didn't even expect to bring that up but it just came out. Just because it's a holiday doesn't mean my grieving stops!!

Anyway, this is the TTCAL board so I promise that my next post with include a discussion about when I'm hoping to TTC and how James is feeling about it.

Also, I made a sarcastic blog post about the dumba$$ comments people make to people with losses: Through The Looking Glass: Facepunch-O-Meter

[MeganMomof5]

(((hugs))) I hope you feeling better today, and thanksgiving wasn't too hard to deal with...I had a hard time being around my family/friends after I lost Ella...Last year I stayed home for all Holiday's.

Thanks Megan, I do feel WAY better now. We went out just me, my husband, and girls to some really nice (and not kid-friendly, OOPS!) place for dinner last night and had a great time. I love my family and I'm not sure how I'd do without them...it's the distant family I could do without HA

[.:Shortcake:.]

Hugs! I'm sorry that you had to deal with that. I had several people that said really hurtful things around the holidays 2 years ago when I lost my son. Every year since I have a very hard time celebrating Christmas. I hope things look up for you soon hun.

[*SamF*]

I'm sorry your sister is being like that. People can say and do some horrible things concerning a loss. Mostly they just don't understand. But if this is the same sister you talked about before, well she may never get it.

Glad you, DH and the girls got to go out and have a nice time!!

[Erin84]

Aaaauuuuggghhhh!!! Some people are so insensitive! I'm sorry she's making this harder on you than it already is I AM glad, however, that you found a way to celebrate Thanksgiving on your own terms. Looking forward to hearing about future TTC plans!

[Joanna1127]

I totally understand about the heartless comments people make. People love to tell me "it wasn't meant to be" all the time. I feel like drop kicking them!

Glad you were able to enjoy your Thanksgiving with your immediate family.

[ohnicole]

I'm sorry your family is being unsupportive Sometimes they make it so much harder.