Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss
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December 1st, 2010, 08:25 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,542
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I feel bad that i'm not responding much to everyone's posts, and I just wanted to say I was sorry...I'm seriously in a funk right now...i'm so down and depressed...I was doing so well...I wasn't thinking of my losses or Ella constantly, but now I find myself thinking of it all more, which honestly i'm tired of...Now with this funky ovulation, it's just making everything 10x worse...Still not even close to having a positive OPK or a good reading on my monitor...I should of gotten a positive OPK at around CD 13...I stopped taking B vitamins and I stopped taking baby aspirin...I wish I would of listened to my gut and stopped the aspirin when AF showed this cycle, but my doctor told me to keep taking it...I just wonder if this has anything to do with my LP...If I don't have anything happen by friday i'm going to call my doctor...So any way, I just wanted to say I was sorry for not responding, I just can't get myself to do much of it 
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 Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace Born Sleeping October 14, 2009
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December 2nd, 2010, 05:26 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,185
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I am so sorry hun. I wish I had something wise to say but I don't. This is something that totally sucks and consumes your every thought. I try to find ways to distract myself but nothing ever seems to help I just do that thing while thinking about a baby, or my losses, or what cycle day I am, when to test, OMG did I O this month etc.
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December 2nd, 2010, 05:31 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Heart of Rural England
Posts: 1,308
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Dont be sorry hun, this is all such a huge healing process and we can only take it a day at a time. Sometimes they are good and others, not. Wether you are here or not, you are always in thought.
I know I'm freaking out right now because I don't think I'm going to O anymore and wonder if Elijah was my last. It's hard to think straight sometimes but coming here and seeing all these bfp's helps me. I ramble too much
I'm so sorry hun, come here to unload anytime and like I said, we're always here for you when ready.
hearts
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Thank you Claire1979 for my beautiful siggy!
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December 2nd, 2010, 06:09 AM
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Veteran
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 241
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I am so sorry for all of the hurt that you are feeling. I did want to tell you that I do not think it is the Baby Aspirin. My RE has had me on them for about a year now and I have never had issues with ovulating until I started this Fertil Aid. The aspirin is to help with any clotting. It is such a minimal amount and actually for many people a Dr asks you to take an aspirin a day to help with heart attacks but who knows. I know how you are feeling because I think the FertilAid threw me off track as well. We have to go with our heart and do what we think is going to help get us thrugh the day and months ahead when we suffer losses like this. We are here for you to vent.
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December 2nd, 2010, 07:33 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 14,553
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HUGS! Megan don't feel sorry. You are such an amazing woman. You are always there for every single one of us when we need you and this is a moment where you need us and we are here for you. I'm sorry your going through this and I wish our bodies didn't betray us so much. I hope you O soon and I agree with you I would call the doctor if nothing changes soon and maybe they could do some BT or something and see what is going on.
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December 2nd, 2010, 10:31 AM
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POAS Queen
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 3,947
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Ugh, I'm sorry things are so off for you this cycle. I looked at your chart, what a jerk it's being, dipping then popping back up then dipping again, making it look like you're going to O and then not following through. What a tease And last month it looked like you were going to go triphasic. AUGH. Post as much or as little as you want. Just know that you're one of the ones I always pray for 
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With us on earth for five short days, with us in our hearts forever.
(Thank you Natasha for this beautiful graphic of Andrew, and to the ladies of the Nov 10 PR who help me in carrying on his memory.)
Jan. 2009: Came off years of BCP and started TTC
March 2010: BFP -- finally!
Oct. 22, 2010: Drew is born, but has to stay in the NICU because of cord complications resulting in oxygen deprivation and brain problems =(
Oct. 27, 2010: I held him in my arms while Daddy, Grandma, Great-Uncle and I sang him to sleep =( Hardest thing I've ever done...
June 14, 2011: Drew's baby brother or sister waved hi to us with a BFP!
June 25, 2011: Natural miscarriage... Can we please catch a break here?
Nov. 2011: 100mg Clomid followed by 2mg Estrogen, Ovidrel trigger, and 200mg progesterone suppositories 2x/day 14 days. BFN.
Dec. 2011: 2nd medicated cycle. BFN.
Jan. 2012: Took a month off to breathe...
Feb. 2012: Same regimen of Clomid and other meds, add IUI. 2 eggs and 8.5 million swimmers. BFN.
March 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-11, follie scan CD 8 showed 6 follies likely to mature. Triggered, IUI on CD 14, 4 million swimmers. BFN.
April 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-10. Scan showed 2 mature follies, 2 almost certain to mature, and two not likely but possible. (All 6 evenly and perfectly spaced out between the left and the right.) Triggered, IUI CD 13 with 5 million swimmers. BFN.
May 2012: 75 IU Follistim starting CD 3. Waiting to O. Timed intercourse. Likely 5 follies to mature.
^^ Click graphic for chart ^^
 
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December 2nd, 2010, 10:49 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,542
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Last month I started to spot at 5 dpo, which only ever happened to me when pregnant...My doctor did check my progesterone, but I haven't heard about that or my other bloodwork...I called the office today to ask about my bloodwork and to let her know about my ovulation problem, but she's not in today...My body feels like it's trying to ovulate...I've had cramps, EWCM and ovulation pain...I honestly just feel like giving up TTC, i'm so sick of it!!!
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Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace Born Sleeping October 14, 2009
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December 2nd, 2010, 11:10 AM
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Wookie's Girl
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,482
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I feel you on the funk and depression aspect. I am down really bad again. I don't get on as much anymore because all I see is everyone getting pregnant and it hurts, a lot. Not that I am not happy for people, but it still hurts so I feel you. Know that you are not alone.
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December 2nd, 2010, 11:57 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 16,285
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Just wanted to add my  , and hope your body does something soon for you!
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Waiting for our ELF to get here!
Thank you .:Shortcake:.!! for my awesome siggy!
My Forever Babies- 07/20087.5 weeks, 10/2008 4.5 weeks 12/2008 4 weeks 06/2009 our twin 7.5 weeks 08/2010 4 weeks 10/2010 Mr. Spud 9.5 weeks 04/2011 twins 6 weeks
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December 2nd, 2010, 01:16 PM
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Wife/Mommy/Photographer
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oneida, TN
Posts: 7,313
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I think a lot of us can relate to those feelings. I am sorry you are feeling so down *Huge hugs*
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December 2nd, 2010, 05:09 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 22,162
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I'm sorry you're feeling this way. If it makes you feel any better, I completely feel the same way as you. I've been feeling really down and out about this all too.
Sending you many hugs and ++++ vibes!
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December 2nd, 2010, 05:14 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,280
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I'm so sorry you're feeling this way! I've been in a horribly depressed/miserable/angry funk lately too, and it stinks. I hope that your body gets back on track and you get your sticky bfp soon! Great big  !!!
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i'm in a funk
04/21/10 - 7w5d 
