[Celena]

Ladies, I'm getting scared... I knew that peace, excitement wouldn't be constant... such is never the case with us ladies from TTCAL.

took another test (1:30ish) thing is allot lighter than this morning...

I know I shouldn't put all my faith into it considering the amounts of liquids I've drank, etc etc, but it's hard not to get down and worried when the test is lighter than you expected it to be. I was feeling so confident that this IS IT, but with the constant crampiness and the lighter test just now it's hard for me not to think things of the negative nature.

so 3:20pm I had to take another, it was darker little darker than this am... so I guess it's a cross between my fluid intake and the tests being different lots perhaps. Anyways, I feel a teensy better but not totally.

I know the crampy pulling feeling are probably from my uterus bloating, hormones etc... I hate these thoughts that are entering my mind right now.


Sure wish it were easier and the fears would just go away, but I'm still less stressed n worried than with previous pregnancies... so there's something

[dreamer10]

We do this to ourselves, don't we? We self torture out of fear and ignorance. Try hard to love the fact that your pregnant right now...try to wait a few days before testing again....which is soooo much easier said than done...and I know that....and just enjoy the fact that there's a baby in there. We do understand, we do empathize and we do love you despite your fears, because we all have the same fears and worries. Let's just band together that much more and love each other that much more and plan a playdate for our aug babies...ok? Hang in there...love you!

[TnPhotoMama81]

It is so hard not to worry I can't wait to get pregnant again but yet I am still so scared to as well. I don't want to experience another loss.

I bet that everything is okay with you though...I am sure it was just the fluids and the tests differing slightly with the amount of dye or something.

[shen7]

I definitely agree with Julie... it's SO FREAKING HARD to not completely stress yourself out... and I stressed myself out more than anyone if you remember!!!

What helped me more than anything to get through the first couple of weeks was DISTRACTION. Just days full of traveling, seeing people, doing things, as much as possible, anything to keep me from spinning my wheels about the pregnancy. Anything to make the days roll by more quickly. I did this whenever the pregnancy stress was getting too much for me and it's the best thing I've come up with, for me anyway. After my massive SCH bleed, DH bought me Angry Birds on the iPad and I think it saved my life.

Celena!!!! You know we are all here for you!!

[mafiamom]

i totally hear you celena! once the rose colored glasses are off and someone has suffered losses.... there is no going back regarding fears during pregnancy. it is stressful and, of course, we make it more so with our analyzing of every ache pain and line we see!!

i did the same thing you did. i tested and i was like 21 dpo. the line was WAYYYY lighter than my last test at 14 dpo. of course of freaked right out. i even went to the store and bought sanitary napkins (along with another 2 tests - the cashier must have thought i was insane ) cause i was so sure that was the end.

i used FMU the next day and PROMISED my self and God, to whom i was PLEADING with for a nice dark line, that if the line was super dark, i would not test again.... period. using FMU, it was super dark. i was so happy, and pissed that tests vary in such degrees with the amount of dye they use. how dare they make us worry so!!!!!

i have 3 tests in my drawer and i have no desire whatsoever to use them - nasty things

i say use a the same brand test you have been using, pee once more - see that wonderful dark line and LET IT GO!!!! we HAVE to remember, that a pee stick is a rudimentary test, and are no way able to say just exactly HOW pregnant we are!!!

believe me when i tell you, i am right there with you with the worries and the fears. we will get thru this!

[sweetgirl51305]

I'm the same way right now too Celena. It's absolute torture. I've got a lot of crampiness going on too and it's constant worry that something is wrong. I think there will always be some sort of worry, but right in the beginning it's alot more. I say a prayer every night for all of us pregnant TTCAL ladies, so I'm trying to remain positive.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Okay Celena, ready? Listen.... take all your tests and put them in an envelope and mail them to me Lol problem solved! On a serious note... no more peeing on sticks. You have a beautiful BFP. I know it's hard but try to relax and enjoy it. Stressing out is not going to help your little one. I love you!

[mmllhh]

deep breaths girlfriend, deep breaths. I know it's hard, but relax and and enjoy it. You deserve it.

[Kary♥RN]

I don't think I breathed until I was 27 weeks... Once I hit viability I knew my babies had a fighting chance.. and took a little breath... But was still worried about all the things that could still go wrong. I had to stop and relize. I can't control what happens any more than I can control the weather. You have just enjoy knowing you have this little being- growing inside of you.. LOVE this little being NOW, right here, right now. Just as you do your children, Andre, your parents... You don't know what tomorrow will bring. So enjoy today. (I KNOW, I KNOW easier said than done... I still check the TP when I wipe!! ) I think I always will.. But talk to your belly.. You tell that little one... we are waiting for them! We are here for you. And know your little one is prayed for everyday by the ladies of this board! HUGS XOXOXOXO

[StaceygirlPa]

Celena, I know it is easier said then done. Just try to relex and enjoy being pregnant. I agree with Katie and mail her all of your test. You have all of our prayers and thoughts for a healthy 9 months.

[Joanna1127]

sending you lots of healthy baby vibes!!

[Halfbaked]

See.... I'm not as crazy as my DH thinks I am. I did the same thing. I won't even tell you how many tests I took, especially after my betas were coming back low and I had such bad cramping and spotting on top of it all. My cramping has also just lightened up. I had cramps worse than AF cramps and TONS of CM which kept me constantly running to the bathroom.

I don't think I'll relax at all until I make it to 34 weeks. Every twinge causes anxiety but also makes me more grateful that at the moment I'm pregnant. Like Julie said, you have to just concentrate on the moment. Right now you are pregnant, so enjoy this moment. Before you know it, this moment will be your due date.

[missy123]

I am totally with Katie.

Please stop testing... Enjoy every second of this gift. Rub your belly and think of the future. Allow yourself to feel the happiness. For me can you try to enjoy this for at least an hour a day? xoxoxoxo

[lindsey2000k]

You guys should know as well as anyone about how these tests are.
They do not measure how much HCG just if it is present. Some tests can have more dye than another (even the same brand from the same box).
I did not listen to this advice and every week last time I was preangnt I took a test because I wanted to make sure that line was coming up fast and dark. It did and it was at the end it was coming up before the control line and before I was even done peeing on the thing... guess what little did I know my baby had already passed away and the line was even darker.
So you just can not use that as a guide as so how things are with your baby.


STOP testing and wait and see what your beta's are if your DR is going to follow them. Just try to enjoy being pregnant even if it is only for a short while.. but I have a feeling this is your sticky bean!

[*SamF*]

I agree- 1 stop testing.
2- Just breathe. Won't tell you not to worry or anything because I know it's pointless. We will most likely worry till that baby is in your arms- then you get to replace it with a whole new set!
I really wish I could give all of us our peaceful pregnancy bliss back.

[MamaRN]

((HUGS)) Celena, it is so hard PAL.

I had really intense cramping early with both DD and this PG, so that could just be your little bean nestling in nice and tight for the long ride.

I got really faint tests for the first week or so after getting PG with DD and this one too. I agree to try and stop testing, although I know it is so much easier said than done and I couldn't stop myself.

I am praying for you every day that this is it.

[KCMomma]

I can't even imagine the anxiety you must feel and I think it's completely normal. I completely agree with all the ladies have already said, but just wanted to offer my thoughts for you. I'm sure after the excitement of the BFP the true scared emotions set in and I'm sure it's hard. My best advice would be to STAY BUSY!!! Which shouldn't be too hard with the holidays and all!

[j&jmom]

If I ever get pg again, I know I will be just as nervous as you. Good luck and know that we are all praying for you!

[~LaurenNoel~]

With my last m/c, it was a missed m/c, so my test lines were still super dark. This time I decided to stop testing after I hit 4 weeks pregnant, and just enjoy the time I was given with this baby. I am so glad that I did that. Try to relax hun. I will be praying for your little bean. *hugs*

[KDD]

I panicked during my entire pregnancy, checking the TP each time I went. It's absolutely normal to be nervous. And remember, since each test is different, each result will be different.

BTW - Congratulations on your BFP!!