Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss
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December 26th, 2010, 04:30 PM
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Super Mommy
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 548
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For Christmas my dear (HA HA) mother in law gave me a book called "Make Me Your Choice." The book is a pro-life Christian book of people who have had abortions and regretted it. ***? I kept my clam and didn't say anything right away.
Dh and I went back over there today I handed her the book and said "i'm not sure if you read the back of this book, but its about abortion." She said "yeah I know I thought you could relate to the stories."
I left the book at her house, and we went home. I'm really speechless.
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Thank you Katie-shortcake for the siggy!
Last edited by TTCin2010; December 26th, 2010 at 07:00 PM.
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December 26th, 2010, 04:35 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Southern PA
Posts: 13,228
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I am so sorry. 
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December 26th, 2010, 04:46 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,623
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That's so not fair. Why would she do that? Is this normal behavior for her? And what did DH say????? I'm so sorry that she was so insensitive.
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Forever Missing Our Eight Angels
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December 26th, 2010, 04:52 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,944
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Wow, Karen, that is really awful I hope you're able to keep your distance from her from now on- she doesn't sound like a good person to have in your life. 
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Thanks, Katie (.:Shortcake:.) for the adorable siggy!
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December 26th, 2010, 04:55 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 10,638
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Umm I'm speechless too! I don't know the background of your relationship and how she is usually.. the first thing it made me think was that she thinks you've had an abortion? But she would have no reason to think that right. I assume she's aware of your loss? That's really horrible. I'm sorry. 
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December 26th, 2010, 05:17 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,280
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 I don't know about your relationship or anything, but you had to have a d&c with your loss right? The first thing that sprung to my mind is that she's equating that with an abortion. If you didn't have to have a d&c then she's equating your natural miscarriage with an abortion. Either way she's nuts, and that is just insanely wrong! I am so sorry that you have to have someone like that in your life.
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December 26th, 2010, 05:22 PM
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just me
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 39,667
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Ugh, that makes me sick to my stomach. What a horrible thing, I'm so sorry. NOT the same thing at all!!!
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December 26th, 2010, 06:04 PM
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POAS Queen
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 3,947
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My mom keeps calling what happened to Drew a miscarriage, even though he was on earth and alive for five days before he passed away. I'm so sorry your MIL did that, I can't even imagine where she must have been coming from to think that was okay...
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With us on earth for five short days, with us in our hearts forever.
(Thank you Natasha for this beautiful graphic of Andrew, and to the ladies of the Nov 10 PR who help me in carrying on his memory.)
Jan. 2009: Came off years of BCP and started TTC
March 2010: BFP -- finally!
Oct. 22, 2010: Drew is born, but has to stay in the NICU because of cord complications resulting in oxygen deprivation and brain problems =(
Oct. 27, 2010: I held him in my arms while Daddy, Grandma, Great-Uncle and I sang him to sleep =( Hardest thing I've ever done...
June 14, 2011: Drew's baby brother or sister waved hi to us with a BFP!
June 25, 2011: Natural miscarriage... Can we please catch a break here?
Nov. 2011: 100mg Clomid followed by 2mg Estrogen, Ovidrel trigger, and 200mg progesterone suppositories 2x/day 14 days. BFN.
Dec. 2011: 2nd medicated cycle. BFN.
Jan. 2012: Took a month off to breathe...
Feb. 2012: Same regimen of Clomid and other meds, add IUI. 2 eggs and 8.5 million swimmers. BFN.
March 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-11, follie scan CD 8 showed 6 follies likely to mature. Triggered, IUI on CD 14, 4 million swimmers. BFN.
April 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-10. Scan showed 2 mature follies, 2 almost certain to mature, and two not likely but possible. (All 6 evenly and perfectly spaced out between the left and the right.) Triggered, IUI CD 13 with 5 million swimmers. BFN.
May 2012: 75 IU Follistim starting CD 3. Waiting to O. Timed intercourse. Likely 5 follies to mature.
^^ Click graphic for chart ^^
 
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December 26th, 2010, 07:03 PM
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Super Mommy
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 548
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His Mom is a nutter, but shes never done anything that crazy. Dh is totally shocked. I did have a D&C but she knows the baby had passed before that so how can she call that an abortion?? Ive had a heavy feeling in my throat since then.
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Thank you Katie-shortcake for the siggy! |
December 26th, 2010, 07:08 PM
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Tobi
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,616
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omg, how horrible. I am so sorry that she is so mixed up that she has obviously has no clue what she's done. Does she not understand what happened? Oh I am so very angry for you. And upset, god, what a horrible thing to do to you.
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December 26th, 2010, 07:42 PM
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Psalm 138:8
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 4,957
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Im sorry you went through that, im learning that a lot of people do not understand miscarriage(s) & all the procedures that come with it, unless they been through it, my mom who had 9 children probally thought i would be like her til she has seen that I have had 3 losses and still waiting to someday have my 1st born. my mom also does not understand my emotional side of losses like this and thought i could just go on to try and try again....but sometimes one needs to heal before trying right away.....its such a touchy subject and really in my opinion should be between husband& wife/ between a couple)
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December 27th, 2010, 05:44 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,185
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OMG I am so sorry. Some people just do not think at all.
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December 27th, 2010, 05:57 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 4,701
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That totally takes the cake. ***??? I think you handled it way better than I would have! WOW, I just don't know what else to say to that.
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Thank you Julka for my beautifully, perfect siggy!!
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December 27th, 2010, 08:05 AM
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I think I would have killed her. You should have hit her with the book. Just wow. None of my other replies to this will be any less angry, she sounds like a jackbutt.
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December 27th, 2010, 08:37 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Heart of Rural England
Posts: 1,308
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I would have to have a chat with her and make it clear again that you didn't have an abortion. But I do agree that you handled it with tact and was respectable.
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Thank you Claire1979 for my beautiful siggy!
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December 27th, 2010, 09:52 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: blaine wa
Posts: 5,277
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i am so sorry you had to deal with that hun.
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December 27th, 2010, 06:02 PM
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Wife/Mommy/Photographer
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oneida, TN
Posts: 7,313
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I am so sorry she did that to you. I just don't understand people sometimes. My heart hurts for you.
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December 27th, 2010, 06:17 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 22,162
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wow! I'm speechless! How hurtful of her!
I think I would have your DH explain again exactly what happened and specify that it was NOT an abortion!
I also agree with the previous poster, people who have not suffered a loss(es), really do not truly understand everything that goes along with it (ex. the proces, emotional aspect, physical aspect, etc).
hugs!
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December 27th, 2010, 08:25 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,542
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oh how awful! I'm sorry (((hugs)))
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 Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace Born Sleeping October 14, 2009
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December 27th, 2010, 08:43 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,347
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Wow! I'm so sorry. Ignorant people suck!
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- 03/28/10 
04/21/10 - 7w5d 
