[arngwifey]

I am so angry lately. We have had 3 losses in the last year. I thought for sure this cycle was it, that we'd get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy and then AF shows up 8 days early something fierce. And I'm angry. I just want to be pregnant already, we wanted our last baby to be close in age and I keep focusing on the fact that it's just not happening. I told my husband how upset I was and his response was "We have years to keep trying." And then later I tell him that it was really insensitive and that I want him to understand that I have the right to be upset by it and that he doesn't see it the same way I do. He was gone when we lost the other 3 babies, so I had to go through it by myself and he never seemed to care really. I am sure he did but it didn't affect him the same way it did me. And it's upsetting. And then it's been upsetting that he's so not worried about if we get pregnant or not. Ugh. And because I'm so down about it I'm getting so frustrated with everything and angry even with him. How do I get over this funk?

[missy123]

Oh, I am the queen of anger. I still feel angry at times. I should have a baby that is just over a year old... or be 20 weeks pregnant ... It is all washed away and no one freakin understands the pain and anger and hurt and, well, I just want a chance to catch my breath and make it all go away. I want things to be how they would have been if I didn't lose my babies.

I am sure your husband is hurting too honey. They process things differently and even my DH said to me that he will never be able to fully understand what I went through, the intense pain I felt/feel. Tell him you hurt and even though he doesn't understand that you need him. You need him to hug you and kiss you and tell you that everything will be ok. You need his love and affection even more now. You can't expect him to understand, but he can be there for you in his own way.

How do you get over this funk? Pray, love yourself, take it one day at a time (or one hour at a time), and vent here. (((Hugs)))

[purplelady]

[Joanna1127]

sending you tons of hugs and lots of BFP dust!!!

[asunflower]

We all understand your pain and how hard it is to go through this time and time again. You are a strong woman to be able to go through that 3 times and by yourself. Tell him what you need from him. They never know the pain we feel and cannot truly ever know. Pray continually and focus on the future and that BFP! It will come!

[Pame£a]

Loads of hugs hun. I completely understand what you are saying. After we lost Elijah, my dh said we have to be grateful for the children we have. I have never been ungrateful and yes I feel very blessed, but even though he was unplanned, he was a happy welcome addition to our family.

There is a hole in my heart that will never be filled but I do know that having another baby would certainly make it a bit smaller.

Men just want to fix things and have no concept on things like this. Pure example of men are from mars and women are from venus.

hugs hun, you are in my prayers

[Shadeauxe]

I think different people handle situations differently. I think both viewpoints are valid. I happen to be of the view that what was meant to be in my life will be and if it doesn't work out then there must be some reason, so I didn't take the loss that badly.

Does it mean I am insensitive? No. Does it mean that anyone who goes through it a different way is wrong? Also no.

While I do believe that he should be more sympathetic to your feelings, his feelings are just as valid. I hope that doesn't make me sound mean, I am not trying to be. I just know that I am on the flip side of the coin compared to most people and I wouldn't like to be judged for not caring enough or something like that.

[martilynne]

[Celena]

Missy said it the best!

Men do deal with things differnently, but I bet if he was at all the appointments and there thru everything he would be singing a different tune. He would have more of a connection of everything you went thru, but unfortunately he wasn't there so he doesn't know as how devastating it was for you and really deep down for him whether he shows it or not. Men generally do no verbalize their emotions, they keep them bottled up most of the time.

I cannot say anything to make you feel better honey, I'm sorry...

Anger is a part of the healing process for many of us. I went thru much anger and it wasn't a fun part of it at all. T cannot give you a magical startagy for getting thru it, but you will over time. Time is a healer as much as we do not want to hear that.

[Erin84]

I kind of just want to ditto what Missy and Celena said.

No one will ever have a bond with an unborn child like the baby's mother. No one, not even the father, loves and hopes and plans like Mom. We're able to bond so strongly to that little bundle of cells, all the way up to a mature baby, and it would be hard for anyone who's never been there to understand it. Men don't know what it's like to have an empty, aching womb, and they never will.

[arngwifey]

Thank you all. It really helps to hear that I'm not the only one that is so full of anger. I know that his feelings are valid and I don't want to discount them at all but there are just those times where I wish he could understand for just a moment. He tells me at least we have our kids already and I know that's true but I still hurt and long for the addition to the family and then says various things trying to comfort but sometimes all I want is just a shoulder and a hug and not him trying to fix it. It's really comforting to know that I'm not alone. The other night I was so upset and felt like I was really a horrible person for being in such a funk. I need to start praying and just remember that I can't control any of it.

[j&jmom]

HUGS! I was angry for awhile and although my dh was home, he was not as emotional as I was. I guess time eventually changed that, but I still get very sad sometimes.

[ohnicole]

You are definitely not alone in being angry. Unfortunately that is part of the healing process... and I can tell you that my poor DH had to live with me being full of rage for a long time. I hope that you're able to move past this stage soon and feel like you get out of your funk.

[missy123]

I am shocked that my husband married me after all of the crying and hurt and pain and everything we have gone through in the past 2 years.

And just because you have children does not mean that you won't ache for the one you lost. They are 2 separate things.

((Hugs)) I think you are being too hard on yourself. Cry away with us, we understand.