[Erin84]

So a bunch of us wanted to go out last night, and I had planned on limiting myself to two drinks, early in the evening so I could metabolize them and it hopefully wouldn't affect my temp in the morning. Well it didn't go that way...

A little backstory. Right after I lost Drew, I got high a couple times. I'm not a habitual pot-smoker or anything, and I'd say I've gotten high maybe ten times in my life. Well my girlfriend Megan knew that I'd smoked to try and calm my nerves a couple of times.

Okay, back to the story. So we're out. I'm all uptight 'cause I don't actually want to really even be out because all my signs point to me having my temp spike in the morning (today). She can sense that I'm uptight... So when I go to the bathroom and leave my drink with her, she spikes it with pure liquid hash. She told me way later in the evening. I know this sounds awful, neither of us are druggies, but I have to say that I can see where she was coming from and know she was trying to be sweet, if you can wrap your mind around that. I'd gone to lunch with her earlier that day and we talked about Drew a lot, so I figure she thought I was being so uptight because I was having one of my more painful days. So please don't bash my friend for what she did...

Well the hash, and the two drinks I drank quickly, got me feeling good, and I totally forgot that I was ovulating, so I just kept drinking. I even smoked a couple of cigarettes. DH and I didn't even DTD last night because we were both so drunk when we got dropped off at home. We were going to BD before we went out but we didn't have any time. And because he's still feeling pretty gross he took a nap just now during his lunch break instead of us just-in-case BDing. I didn't temp this morning because of all the alcohol, but I would have expected to see my temp spike today if I had.

We're at about 42 hours sans-sex right now. I drank a lot, unintentionally got high, smoked cigs... I'm getting a deep-tissue massage tonight, which is known to release toxins, because I'm trying to get it all out of my system ASAP with massage, exercise, sweat, water, and cranberry juice. But I feel like because of last night, this cycle is totally F'd I really only intended on drinking 2 drinks, and it turned into a total wreck of an evening as far as TTC is concerned. My body is NOT going to want to hold on to a healthy little eggie in these awful conditions, and that's even IF DH's boys were still around in time to fertilize it. I gave up caffeine, gave up sweets, changed my entire diet to reflect a healthy lifestyle, have been taking FertilAid... God I'm upset. I can't even jump him until around 9pm tonight, which will pretty much definitely be too late, but I'm gonna try anyway. Grrrr... SO sad. I'm not looking for sympathy, because I know I put myself in this position... Just wanted to vent. AUGH.

[MeganMomof5]

Erin, i'm sorry your feeling this way ..think of it this way...So many woman who do TONS of drugs, drink, smoke constantly etc get pregnant and end up having healthy baby...So you aren't out yet...The little you did last night, probably wont affect much of anything...I think I heard that drugs, alcohol etc don't affect a pregnancy before the egg implants.

[lindsey2000k]

Keep your head up your not out until the witch shows!

I know how you feel I will be 2 or 3 DPO New years eve and Hubby is trying to get me to drink and I just don't know if I am pregnant if it will be safe or not.
Like someone said a month or so ago I wish our pee turned purple or some weird color as soon as we our pregnant even before impantation happens.

[Erin84]

Megan, thanks. I'm sure me stressing over it isn't helping, either! Hmph.

Lindsey, if I were you I'd probably just stick to maybe a small glass of champagne to toast the new year Oh wait... As far as cycles are concerned, I AM you!

[lindsey2000k]

LOL yeah we are pretty much cycle buddies.
I hope we can both get on here and at the end of next week and show off our BFP'S to kick off the 2011 boom!

I just need to figure out if I DPO or not yet cause I don't want to test to early like last month and get weird evaps that got my hopes up.

[missy123]

Nah... Don't stress it out. You bd'ed in the fertile time frame and honestly, after all you have been through you deserve a night of crazy fun like that!

[Erin84]

Originally Posted by lindsey2000k

I hope we can both get on here and at the end of next week and show off our BFP'S to kick off the 2011 boom!

Woot WOOT!!!

Originally Posted by missy123

Nah... Don't stress it out. You bd'ed in the fertile time frame and honestly, after all you have been through you deserve a night of crazy fun like that!

This made me smile big-time

On a side note, DH got home from work early to kick off their four days off for New Years. He doesn't feel good, but he's in the shower right now hoping it makes him feel better, 'cause I told him that I'm getting lovin' and I'm not taking no for an answer!! (Although we may have to finish with me on top, but hey, that's better than nothing!) Chances are it's too late to do any real good, but it'll make me feel better sneaking in another BD session.

[ohnicole]

Originally Posted by MeganMomof5

Erin, i'm sorry your feeling this way ..think of it this way...So many woman who do TONS of drugs, drink, smoke constantly etc get pregnant and end up having healthy baby...

I know it's hard to let go of guilt sometimes, but we can't be perfect all the time. I think you still have a chance!

[lindsey2000k]

It is very hard not to play the blame game.
With my first miscarriage I was a smoker and drank about 5 or 6 Mt Dews a day and I blammed it on that.
This last misscarriage I went to my 10 year reunion and drank and did not know it at the time I was almost 5 weeks along.

So with each of my losses I blame it on something or even a bad month of TTC I blame it on something.

On a side note, DH got home from work early to kick off their four days off for New Years. He doesn't feel good, but he's in the shower right now hoping it makes him feel better, 'cause I told him that I'm getting lovin' and I'm not taking no for an answer!! (Although we may have to finish with me on top, but hey, that's better than nothing!) Chances are it's too late to do any real good, but it'll make me feel better sneaking in another BD session. [/QUOTE]


Start off with you on top and then he will be all hot and bothered I bet he will feel better at that time..LOL
Thats what I did last night. After this many days in a row it taking hubby a little longer and I have be more creative..lol

[j&jmom]

I hate having the feeling that you work all month for a few days and those few days get screwed up! I hope it still works out for you . . . good luck!

[Erin84]

Originally Posted by lindsey2000k

Start off with you on top and then he will be all hot and bothered I bet he will feel better at that time..LOL

It worked!!! Got him almost there and he flipped me over for the last 1-2 mins. SCORE!

[j&jmom]

lol! Well I hope it worked!

[purplelady]

have my fingers crossed for you hun.
my oldest was conceived during a month of hard partying (lots of drinking, p-smoking, smoking and very little sleep)

[TnPhotoMama81]

I wouldn't count yourself out yet...

Like others said there have been women who have gotten pregnant while doing drugs habitually....I don't think that one night is going to ruin everything.

WTG on getting one more BD session in ;p

[lindsey2000k]

SEE I TOLD YOU IT WOULD WORK...LMAO
We must had snuck off to DTD about the same time..LOL

[luvmykids623]

Try not to beat yourself up over it. You deserve a night of fun with all you've been through! Like many other said, there are hard core drug addicts and alcoholics that get pregnant all the time. You are neither of those, so you're still in the game! Maybe relaxing a little might have actually helped. I'm so glad you were able to get another BD session in! I hope you caught that egg!

[missy123]

Originally Posted by lindsey2000k

It is very hard not to play the blame game.
With my first miscarriage I was a smoker and drank about 5 or 6 Mt Dews a day and I blammed it on that.
This last misscarriage I went to my 10 year reunion and drank and did not know it at the time I was almost 5 weeks along.

Please STOP RIGHT THERE! You have no reason to feel guilty or feel like it was your fault at all. I am crying thinking that you have hurt yourself even more for no reason.

When I had my boys (and they are a very healthy 19, 18, and 15 years old)... I smoked almost a pack a day, drank caffeine soda and coffee, drank sweet tea, ate fish, ect... Pretty much everything they say not to do now a days. We did not have the internet or access to the kind of information that you now have. I had one pregnancy book that I read and other than that nothing. We did not have a lot of money so my prenatal care was minimal. A few doctor visits here and there and the doctor who delivered my boys was whoever was on call at the time. My friends that were pregnant at the same time smoked and would drink wine once in a while, sh&* one of my friends doctors said wine was good for the baby!

Please stop blaming yourself. You did not cause your miscarriage. It is hurtful enough without digging yourself into further pain. (((HUGS)))

[ashj_1218]

Hon...it is not a huge deal. You are fine. I work with addicts and many studies have been done to show that none of that effects the egg-release and early implantation process (trust me, we had enough pregnant addicts to prove that point). Not even having pot, alcohol, heroin, cocaine in the system. Not to mention, that baby is getting NOTHING from you for the first few weeks, functioning entirely off the yolk sac. Stop beating yourself up! You had fun, you don't do it often, therefore just write it off.

I am glad you got another BD session in That will make you feel better and maybe feel like you did what you could to save the cycle. BTW~Girl on top is always a winner in this house...for both parties involved