[missy123]

After you had your rainbow babies did you feel complete? Did the raw pain of loss and frustrations with TTC disappear or fade at all? Does hugging your LO help make it all worth it?

[lindsey2000k]

Yes and No. It took away the nagging pain but I still always think of that baby I lost. I did kind of move on.
I was not planning on having anymore kids.... But I got pregnant on accident this summer and after I lost that baby it left me with this void I felt that I had to fill. And I feel like I am back where I started.

[momof6lopez]

Complete is a BIG WORD Missy, but I would lie if I said it did not make me feel healed.....With that said, I still cant look at the u/s pic of the baby we lost, I try not to let my mind go there still, after all this time. Holding Mia does not take the pain away from loosing that baby, but loving her has been rewarding, just like my other children. My rainbow baby has been truly an emotional experience that has me feeling like I completed an internal thing....hard to put into words exactly, but being done with TTCAL is such a huge burden lifted. I pray yours come so very soon, I cant wait for you to go on to the next chapter, and I know having this baby will get you there!!

[AliciaF]

Yes and no. I don't really grieve my 3 miscarriages. They were very early losses, chemical pregnancies. They hurt at the time but mostly because at the time they reminded me that I shouldn't even be trying because I should have had my son that we lost at 20 weeks.

I definitely don't feel that having Cameron replaced Clark. While I thank God for her every day and there is nothing better than seeing her face light up, she doesn't replace the child I lost.

[Brittanie]

Not complete, no. I'll never be complete. Cora will always be missing.

But Erin and Patrick have brought me so much joy and healing and love in my life.

I still have moments of pain that feels like it was just yesterday. But then I can go hug my rainbows and remember that there are good things in the world, and that wonderful things do happen.

[luvmykids623]

I'm in a strange pattern. I've lost a baby before each of my living children. After both of them were born it did help with my healing. Knowing that makes my soul ache to get pregnant again and have a healthy take home baby, because I want healing for this black hole that's been left from my latest loss that is compounded by my previous two losses. I don't think I'll ever be complete, but I would take healing over the crushing pain I feel now.

[zkat]

Complete is not the word for it. I still feel very sad for the loss we had but having Bourne has shifted my focus. I find that I don't dwell on the milestone (BFP date, EDD, Loss date) dates now that I have him here.

I will say, the all consuming desperation of TTC is gone. Of course, he is only a month old and the wonder and newness has not worn off yet.

Kat.

PS - edited to answer your last question - hugging him - for a few minutes everything melts away and all I feel is the overwhelming love for him.

[MeggysMommy]

Sometimes when I think of Megan I think about the baby which I should have had in June, but she definitely helps me close that chapter of my life. My angel baby is always going to be a part of me but having Megan helps me smile on days I never thought I would be able to like the 1st anniversary of my loss.

[Kary♥RN]

I agree with the other ladies "complete" no... "healed" alittle, Sometimes I feel so sad when I am holding the girls.. knowing what I lost... but knowing if I didn't have those losses.. I wouldnt be holding my girls. I still cry weekly.. I'm tearing as I write this, I think rainbow babies bring a whole new round of emotions... if this make scense... it is so hard to explain. I cry because I have my girls and love them so much... but I feel guilty for loving them so much... knowing I had to loose three babies to get them. I try to believe these are the babies I lost.. that fought to come back me.... that eases the feeling a little. ok I am rabbling... I hope this made some sort of scense...

[missy123]

Thanks girls, sharing your stories brought some peace to me. Looking back "complete" was the wrong wording to use.


Thank you.

[Pitridge]

Completely no, but I do a miracle toddler that I look at everyday and feel like the luckiest woman alive, I love him to pieces..But I do think everyday of the baby I lost and how would things be if he/she was with us now.