I am on the edge of a complete nervous breakdown....

LindseyE117 · #1 January 11th, 2011, 09:11 AM

Ok girls I am so sorry to go off in here like this. (I know we all have our own stresses in life and don't need to hear anyone elses) But I am seriously about 2 minutes off from a complete nervous breakdown.

Ok, for those who do not know, I have severe anxiety disorder. I do NOT handle stress well at all. Basically I struggle with any daily tasks that are too stressfull too. I have improved tremendously over the last couple of years and I am able to handle myself slightly better in public. I do have issues on occassion, but I usually am strong enough to work throguh them.

Ok, with everything that has happened to me in the last couple of months, I have been slowly declining again. I was way above over the moon with my pregnancy and I had thought that I might actually overcome the disorder back in September, then came my loss in October. I have not been so well. Any small amount of stress sends me into full panic with the shakes, rapid heart beat, sickness to stomach, tightening in chest that makes it extremely hard to breathe (think asthma attack), and I just want to get out of the situation, aka flight mode.

I have been slowly working on the pain of the loss my pregnancy, and surprisenly doing a lot better with it. My moods have lifted slowly, I no longer hate all pregnant women, and I had seemed to gain a little bit more control with my disorder. But the closing on our new house (or not closing) has almost thrown me completely over the edge. We FINALLY set the date for this afternoon, but I got a call from the bank this morning and they were requesting more information. SERIOUSLY!?!?!? We may not close today!

I am shaking so bad from the stress right now and I keep getting the spots before my eyes (aka feel like passing out or almost passing out). I cannot eat and I am not sleeping because of this. I feel like I am completely losing it. The seller goes out of the country tomorrow and won't be back for almost a month. WE NEED TO CLOSE TODAY!!!! Otherwise we will be homeless and living in a motel until then. We were supposed to be out of my sister's rent house last weekend for the new renters. I cannot take everyone (aka family) asking us when we are closing so we can get out of her house and that we are costing them money and that the other renters will leave because of us. ***?!?!?

I SERIOUSLY need prayers right now and a miracle. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for me. I truly feel if it gets pushed back, I might completely lose it and it is so hard to get myself back together after that. It usually takes a week or more to feel normal again.

kzoo1280 · #2 January 11th, 2011, 09:24 AM

Wow, that does sound stressful. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of that. I hope it works out for the best and I'll be thinking about you. Dealing with house stuff and banks is awful. A friend of mine is trying to sell her house and has been having a difficult time. No one ever wants to call her back and give her answers. It's one road block after another. Hopefully it will all be over for you soon...

j&jmom · #3 January 11th, 2011, 09:28 AM

Oh my I am so sorry! We just closed on our house last month, so I know how that goes. DH handled most of the paperwork, but I know the bank pulled the same thing on us . . . . saying they had everything they needed and we proceeded with the seller only to get a call days before we were to close telling us they needed more stuff! It all ended up okay, but was extremely stressful. I'm sending up my prayers that everything goes well for you too!

onedaysoon · #4 January 11th, 2011, 09:35 AM

We had almost the same thing happed to us....we closed on the house, but had to agrees to change the move date 1 month later because the sellers were going to Europe. Although it we moved 4 weeks before I went into labor with DD I can't imagine how I would have dealt with anxiety disorder on top of it.

I will pray for you. Keep strong.

AZsnowflake · #5 January 11th, 2011, 09:40 AM

Oh I'm so sorry, closing on a house is stressful enough without all the added crap and hoops it sounds like you are having to jump through! Thoughts and prayers with you!

LindseyE117 · #6 January 11th, 2011, 09:40 AM

Well I just got a call from the bank. Both good and bad news.

The Good: We were approved for closing

The Bad: They cannot get the packet together in time to close today

The Bad/Good: The seller postponed his trip out of the country until Thurs in order to close tomorrow. I bet he is p*ssed and losing money. Also, my hubby had requested the afternoon off to close today, so now he has to explain to his boss why it needs to be moved until tomorrow. Also, we don't have an exact time for closing tomorrow, so his boss is waiting on that.

Now for me, when I get worked up so bad like this, almost no amount of good news can make me feel better. Although I am pulled out of my "whoa is me" pit of despair, I am still shaking and it may take me a couple of days to recover from the stress. Seeing how I have not ate all day either, I am trying to force food down my throat. Not making much progress on it either. I also have a feeling that even though I have not ovulated yet this cycle, I might have screwed up our chances of TTC this month because of the severe amount of stress I am inflincting on my body.

Still, thank God for some good news. Now, I need to figure out some activity to relieve some of this stress. It's times like this I wish I drank because a glass of wine sounds so good right now.

shanise.robertson · #7 January 11th, 2011, 09:42 AM

will def be praying for you and i know exactly how you feel I was diagnosed with Depression, Personality Mood Disorder, ADHD, and Schizophrenia so I am basically a basket case (this does not interfere with my psychic abilities it actually helps me cope thats y i like doing it. its helping me be able to concentrate more and meditate.) I have some problems sometimes esp when I had the m/c i was so depressed and out of it but im getting back in the game you can do it.

LindseyE117 · #8 January 11th, 2011, 09:47 AM

You know I will say this. It has been so nice to find others on the board (not naming names for privacy) who know how I feel. It is also nice to know that there are a lot more others like me out there so I do not feel so completely crazy. I sometimes feel that God is showing me that I should not worry too much about this by sending me the support and help of others.

Thank you so much girls.

j&jmom · #9 January 11th, 2011, 09:59 AM

Great news Lindsey! Having the closing move one day is so much better than the alternative, even if it screws up all the other plans. I'll admit that I don't know what works for you, but de-stressing for me involves a long run at the gym while watching tv, to get my mind on something else, followed by a relaxing soak in a bathtub of lavender . . . and sometimes a nap.
It sucks that this stress is coming at this time, I hope you can figure it out and TTC isn't impaired. Good luck . . . . I hope you can enjoy your new home soon!

onedaysoon · #10 January 11th, 2011, 09:59 AM

My brother always found jogging helped with his anxiety...to stops the shakes and nausea in his case.

I'm glad the house situation is working out. Good luck tomorrow.

StaceygirlPa · #11 January 11th, 2011, 10:05 AM

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I hope things start to work out for you soon. Try to hang in there. You know you have all of us on hear to yell at or lean on when you need to.

LindseyE117 · #12 January 11th, 2011, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onedaysoon

My brother always found jogging helped with his anxiety...to stops the shakes and nausea in his case.

I'm glad the house situation is working out. Good luck tomorrow.

I have asthma so jogging long distances is no good for me. But exercise does help me a lot with my stress. It is in the 30's right now though and I can barely stand outside. Going from the 60's and 70's to the 20's and 30's overnight is not fun. Especially for Houston! I am not used to the cold weather so I could never live where it snows. I am what you call a swamp rat.

I was raised on the bayou in southern Louisiana. I didn't even see snow for the first time until I was 12! That was when we moved to Vegas for the first time. No fun!

But where I was getting with that was I go on a looooooooonnnng brisk walk everyday with the dogs for my exercise and stress relief. The dogs did not even want to walk outside. Too spoiled! Lol. Plus my bully breed needs TONS of exercise to keep her energy in check. I say that as the lazy dog is sleeping next to me.

missy123 · #13 January 11th, 2011, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LindseyE117

Well I just got a call from the bank. Both good and bad news.

I also have a feeling that even though I have not ovulated yet this cycle, I might have screwed up our chances of TTC this month because of the severe amount of stress I am inflincting on my body.

I am glad you will finally be able to close on your house, it sounds so stressful (HUGS)

Last month I was under a tremendous (and I mean tremendous) amount of stress and we ended up getting pregnant. It shocked me, I figured there was no way with the stress and anxiety I was going through that I would have a chance but we did. Hold onto that hope for you sweetie.

TnPhotoMama81 · #14 January 11th, 2011, 10:20 AM

Lindsey - I am glad you got SOME good news today! I hope you get to close tomorrow! I would be stressed out from all of that too. I am a very organized person and can't stand it when everyone else can't get their sh*t together.

Btw... I grew up in Beaumont and lived in Houston while in college. I didn't experience snow until I was 21 when I moved to Missouri. I love it though and got quite used to it. I cannot stand the humidity in TX...I hope I never have to live there again! lol Straightening my hair was always pointless.

onedaysoon · #15 January 11th, 2011, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LindseyE117

I have asthma so jogging long distances is no good for me. But exercise does help me a lot with my stress. It is in the 30's right now though and I can barely stand outside. Going from the 60's and 70's to the 20's and 30's overnight is not fun. Especially for Houston! I am not used to the cold weather so I could never live where it snows. I am what you call a swamp rat.

I was raised on the bayou in southern Louisiana. I didn't even see snow for the first time until I was 12! That was when we moved to Vegas for the first time. No fun!

But where I was getting with that was I go on a looooooooonnnng brisk walk everyday with the dogs for my exercise and stress relief. The dogs did not even want to walk outside. Too spoiled! Lol. Plus my bully breed needs TONS of exercise to keep her energy in check. I say that as the lazy dog is sleeping next to me.

Wow...it's mild to me here today and it's 17�F (-8�C). Vegas and Louisiana! Places I would love to visit one day.

I'm glad you have something that works for you....as long as you can get the "lazy dog" out the door lol

ohnicole · #16 January 11th, 2011, 11:25 AM

I'm so glad that you have the closing set for tomorrow! Banks just don't get that their laziness and incompetence make people's live miserable. It is ridiculous that they are allowed to get away with the crap they do.

A situation like that is stressful enough without an anxiety disorder. I'm so sorry you're going through all this! I hope you can take at least a couple hours today to just have some quiet time with a book or a movie and forget about life for a little while.

purplelady · #17 January 11th, 2011, 11:47 AM

*SamF* · #18 January 11th, 2011, 11:50 AM

Glad you got some good news today!!!!!

8miraclez · #19 January 11th, 2011, 01:48 PM

I can relate to everything you are going through. We closed on our house, gave our notice where we were and then found out the sellers put a clause in the contract that they needed a month to move. I also have general anxiety disorder and there are times when it is all I can do to just keep myself busy on something so that I don't completely loose it. I have to engross myself in a project, usually crochet or sewing, so that I don't think about anything else at all.
Are you on any meds? I know a lot you can't take while pg or TTC but there are others that are safe. It might be worth talking to your doctor about it, if only to get you through the stress right now.
I hope things calm down for you and you are able to relax a little. Hang in there.

Celena · #20 January 11th, 2011, 03:30 PM

That's excellent news, I'm so glad it's going to work out for y'all but I am very sorry that you're so wound up with anxiety like that. It's not easy to deal with, but an outlet is definitely the way to go!

Do you have a Wii or Xbox or PS3? There's games that get you physically active and that you can have fun doing at the same time which might be a good outlet for you!!