[Im.Nayomi]

Ask you when are you going to have a baby, knowing that you told them about atleast one miscarriage last year?

Someone asked me that question recently and it made me feel worse.
That person is praying that I have a baby. She has had 3 babies. then 1 miscarriage.Then just had a baby 1-5-11. & she plans on having 1 or 2 more.
I just wish people were more sensitive in general.

[Jessica121706]

the week after my abortion my grandmother asked me if adam and i were going to try again right away it really hurt me

[Shadeauxe]

No one has the nerve to ask me anything. I am an intimidating person, so people just leave me alone. I feel bad for people who have to deal with this nonsense though. I totally wish I could clone this part of me and give it to people somehow, because I never have to put up with this kind of stuff.

[StaceygirlPa]

Dh's mom who knows we had the one m/c. She doesn't know about the last one keeps on asking us when we are going to have a baby. Her best friend also keeps on asking us why we wont give Martha any grandkids.

[*SamF*]

Thankfully my family knows better. They know what we have been through even if they don't understand all of it.

I do get asked by people who don't really know. Those I usually just tell that we hope to have one more.

[TTCbabyrichardson1]

my husbands mom know of both of my miscarriages and tell me that she doesnt want me to have kids. she has enough grandkids - she only has one form hubbys brother but she keeps telling my b-i-l and s-i-l that she wants them to have more. how is that supposed to make me feel?
Then a couple weeks ago I was doing family pics with my family and my husband and i were doing a picture with all my nephews (4 of them) and my dad says "wheres your baby" made me cry ALOT

[TnPhotoMama81]

I wish people would be more sensitive too. I get told that I should just be thankful for our 2 yr old. I HATE that.

OF COURSE I am thankful we already have one healthy child!! I thank God every day for what I have. But that doesn't make my feelings for wanting another one invalid.

[Toots216]

A lot of people know about my first loss because we had announced our pg to pretty much everybody a week before it happened, but no one really asks me personally. People DO ask my DH though - he was out with the boys a few weeks ago, and one of the guys said, "So are you guys waiting 6 months before you try again?" and DH just kind of blew him off. And I know some cousins of mine keep asking my mom if there is "any baby news yet".

Only my parents know about our loss in December. We are very close to them, and my mom went through years of struggling with infertility, so we can tell them pretty much anything and not be judged.

[ohnicole]

I think everyone pretty much knows that we are TTC, since everyone knew about our pregnancy and loss. The only people who ever ask about it are my mom and sister, who are constantly saying, "Are you pregnant?" or "You're pregnant, right?" It drives me nuts. I know they don't mean anything by it, but constantly being reminded that no, I am not STILL not pregnant isn't my idea of fun. People just don't understand what it feels like.

[Cait&AngelAbove]

My mother constantly tells me how much she wants a grandchild. She tells me she got pregnant every time my father looked at her. I tell her that she will never want a grandchild as much as I want a child.

[AZsnowflake]

I haven't had to experience this and hope I never do, it would be INCREDIBLY frustrating!

[missy123]

Oh girls, I am so freakin sorry for all of these painful things that your loved ones say to you. How hurtful. I would hope they don't realize how much they are hurting you.

[MountainMomma]

Not only do they ask (knowing that we have had 8 losses in just over 4 years) but have even made jokes about us "not doing it right" and that we need to "take lessons" from my BIL and his wife. They have three under three. That really hurts. We had been trying for more than a year and had two losses before they ever even met. I was due a week ahead of their son with one of my angels and three weeks behind their twin girls with another angel.

I think the most hurtful thing though was when the octomom was in the news and we were starting fertility treatments. Someone dear to us made the comment that "If these treatments turn you into the next octomom, you better 'fix' it. That early they aren't even babies yet..... just blobs of cells anyway, so remember, one or two is plenty." That comment came not long after another chemical. It's the closest I've ever come to actually punching someone I loved in the face.

[pixiedust012404]

Fortunatly I really only have to deal with this with people who don't know us very well or what we've gone through. However, my best friend is engaged to my fiance's brother, so we are future sister in laws, and her and my f-bil have a son who just turned a year. She got pregnant after they were together a month!!! And though she is usually sympathic she sometimes forgets about our fertility issues and says things like "We think we want to try for another in august but since we got pregnant so quickly the last time, August might be a little early." It just tears me up inside.

[ashj_1218]

My family is not very sensitive about this either. They often ask "so when are you gonna get on making another" or "better get busy if you still want four kids." Just stupid remarks that make me want to punch them. The worst was "i bet you will get pregnant the first time you try again." And I think the person was meaning to be supportive and positive, but it really hit a chord. I DO get pregnant as soon as we try...but I can't keep those babies growing in there. And it breaks my heart. My family is a little over-involved in one another's business, so I guess I can't get too upset. I know they all support me, but I am the first of the grandkids to have miscarriage issues and the others are just not very sensitive. They all knock up random people (or get knocked up by random people) quite often. (Sorry, I don't mean to insult anyone by that comment, just illustrating I come from a family of wh0re$!)

I think one of the WORST is when someone tells you "at least you have one" or "you should appreciate your son (or daughter or children)." It makes me want to kill them. No joke, I see red instantly. OF COURSE I love Liam and am so grateful I get to have him. BUT, that does not take away my desire to have another child or want to give him a brother or sister. I do really feel for those trying to have their first. It is a whole different set of pain when it is the first you are having a hard time concieving. But, really, it doesn't make any difference what number baby you are working on. It is still painful when you have losses and want to add to your family.

to all dealing with insensitive jerks

[onedaysoon]

I haven't had to deal with a whole lot ('cept of course the usual..."you're still young", "you have lots of time" and of course "at least you have one already".

Recently though I was at my cousins who got pregnant just after I had my loss (as in she probably conceived while I was in the hospital). She was carrying her daughter who is 20 months and said "ugh...you're heavy".... and put her down...I said to her "you should trying carrying Danica" (my DD is 6 lbs heavier and solid). Her repsonse was "trying doing it 9 weeks pregnant". I had to just leave the room. She knew full well that I m/c at 9 weeks. It really hurt.