Sad. And I guess envious

ashj_1218 · #1 January 20th, 2011, 07:15 AM

I am pretty active in Liam's PR...and there are so many women in there deciding to try for another baby right now (since our LO's are a bit over one). And two of the three who are trying got pregnant IMMEDIATELY. And, naturally, I want to be really, really happy for them. And I am, actually. But I am so sad that we wanted our baby to be that easy to get. We wanted to have our kids even closer than 2 years (the loss in July, we would have had a much-desired 15 month gap...I would be due anytime). And it just is not in the cards for us. I guess it just made me a little irritated that it is like "oh, we are gonna try." Followed 2 weeks later by, we are Pregnant! It really makes me grieve for what we can't have or don't have. Pointless post...but I know you ladies understand.

(I should note that the other lady makes me sad because she is also having issues...and it breaks my heart knowing her pain is the same as mine...wanting and not having).

j&jmom · #2 January 20th, 2011, 07:23 AM

I completely understand. . . . <<HUGS>>
At least you can someday tell your daughter/son that you worked hard for them . . . practicing & trying until you made a perfect little child. Or something like that

missy123 · #3 January 20th, 2011, 07:23 AM

I understand... You are not only dealing with a loss but not getting pregnant again right away as well. It is not that you are jealous about them, it is that you wish it was you right with them. What you are feeling is normal and to be expected. It hurts and stings. I hope you get pregnant really soon!

AZsnowflake · #4 January 20th, 2011, 07:26 AM

I'm so sorry

.:Shortcake:. · #5 January 20th, 2011, 07:29 AM

Hugs! I completely understand. And it is always hard watching others have what we long for ourselves. When you get your little one you will forget all about the age difference

And I just know it will happen for you.

Shadeauxe · #6 January 20th, 2011, 07:31 AM

I am going to pull a quote from Sixteen Candles that summarizes my reaction to this. I hope everyone has seen the movie. This is from the scene where Samantha i talking to her dad, wishing she was her sister.

Samantha:
But if I were Ginny, I'd have this guy crawling on his knees.

Father:
Well, let me tell you something about Ginny. Now, I love her as much as I love you, but she's a different person.

Sometimes I worry about her. When you're given things kind of easily, you don't always appreciate them.

With you, I'm not worried. When it happens to you, Samantha, it'll be forever.

ashj_1218 · #7 January 20th, 2011, 07:34 AM

^^ TEARS! You guys are awesome. My day is looking much happier already. Thanks.

wishfulgal · #8 January 20th, 2011, 07:40 AM

I completely, totally understand. It never has, and never will, be that easy for DH and I.

I was one of the few moms in my PR who was ready for another baby right away. We didn't prevent after he was born and were hoping to have a surprise BFP right away..which I suppose was probably a little tooooo hopeful since I never got AF until I quit BFing when Mason was 10 months. Ever since then, we have been trying hardcore for over a year and now we just had our loss. We have 7-8 month old siblings in our PR who were conceived (some accidentally) while I've been TTC. Like you said, I'm happy for all of these ladies, but I just feel soo left out. Real life is even worse. It's so hard to sit and listen to my friends talk about what MONTH they are going to have their next child and how many kids they are going to have when we have no choice in the matter whatsoever... I think it is a feeling of loss when you realize you have so little control over your future.

msshamis23 · #9 January 20th, 2011, 08:10 AM

I agree Ash, and big hugs.

I went to my DD's birthday party (that her dad threw for her) and all the kids there were her age, or just a little younger, and they all had little siblings, under the age of one or just over. I was the only one there without another LO.

MeganMomof5 · #10 January 20th, 2011, 08:28 AM

I understand (((hugs)))...Sometimes life throws us curve balls, and it's just not fair! I didn't want a huge age gap in my kids, and even if I got pregnant now my son would be 5 1/2 years old when the baby was born...Not at all how I planned it...It sucks

I hope you get your BFP soon!!!

StaceygirlPa · #11 January 20th, 2011, 09:49 AM

I understand. Sending you lots of hugs.

TnPhotoMama81 · #12 January 20th, 2011, 09:59 AM

I totally understand how you feel. I feel like I am one of the last in my PR to get pregnant again. I was hoping for a 2 yr age gap with mine too but I lost the baby that would have made that happen

*hugs*

missy123 · #13 January 20th, 2011, 11:15 AM

This thread is on the front page of JM!

Jessica121706 · #14 January 20th, 2011, 11:56 AM

Aww honey I know how you are feeling you'll get your rainbow soon <<hugs>>

*SamF* · #15 January 20th, 2011, 01:10 PM

I understand too. I started TTC in July and several ladies got pregnant by accident since then. I'm happy for them, but I was really trying. Only to have two more losses instead.

ashj_1218 · #16 January 20th, 2011, 03:31 PM

Wow, front page huh?? I guess I have no secrets now

Quote:

Originally Posted by wishfulgal

It's so hard to sit and listen to my friends talk about what MONTH they are going to have their next child and how many kids they are going to have when we have no choice in the matter whatsoever... I think it is a feeling of loss when you realize you have so little control over your future.

This sums up most of it EXACTLY. It is sooo hard, especially for those of us who have "Type A" personalities (you know who you are!!! Lol) and need to feel control in our lives. I really, really want to smack those people who talk about "oh, we want a winter baby" or "we don't want our kids born in the same month...too many birthdays!" "Oh, we are def having three kids, maybe with one "bonus" baby." I want to scream "SHUT THE (insert word here) UP! I just want another baby...any baby that I get to carry and love. A siblings for my little boy. I will take him/her on any day of the year."

So glad that you ALL get it. This room really has been my saving grace

Joanna1127 · #17 January 20th, 2011, 03:56 PM

I completely feel this same way. So many people around me (online and IRL) are pregnant and on multiple children. Many are also due right around when I would have been (april/may) and that makes it so hard to hear, "oh, I'm almost in my 3rd trimester", or "I'm having a baby boy/girl, etc". It hurts like heck!

SillyKitty · #18 January 20th, 2011, 03:57 PM

I understand. Well, not about the wanting kids that close in age part, but the getting sad about not getting pregnant (with a sticky baby) when others around you are. It's a totally normal, common feeling.

For me, each month that goes by makes the age gap that much more over 8 years, since my youngest will be 8 this year. I wanted another big age gap, but not this big.

Micksbabe · #19 January 20th, 2011, 03:57 PM

I have to say I feel this way too!! A great friend of mine called and they are trying to have another baby and I just have this feeling it is going to be easy for her. She has a DS that is 6 weeks older than Hunter.

I also believe that this room has been my saving grace too!!! I honestly only really post in here