O/T My grandma is over feeding her dog :(

SkyBaby · #1 January 21st, 2011, 04:06 PM

This has been an issue since she got Ginger from my mother in law, a year ago. Grandma is over feeding that poor dog to the point of making the dog sick and very, very lethargic. Ginger is about 4 pounds shy of twice her healthy weight.

She doesn't understand that if she keeps doing this, she wont have Ginger around very much longer. Grandma feels like the only way she can show her dog love is by feeding her. There's just no telling her there are other, healthier ways to show her dog affection. She's very stubborn. I don't even like going over there anymore because I hate seeing Ginger like that, when I know she can be so much better. My heart is breaking for Ginger. I know that Grandma would be very sad when Ginger dies. The thing is, this will happen again with the next dog Grandma gets. She'll feed the next one to death, too unless this bad habit can be stopped.

My husband isn't helping things. He'd rather see his Grandma happy than worry about some dumb dog as he puts it. He even went so far as to say "Don't worry, Grandma. When she's gone we'll get you another one." I didn't even bother to hide my anger at that statement. I gave him the evil eye and he just looked at me with that expression people get when they know (read: think) they're right.

The worst part of all this is, Grandma thinks she's doing the best she can for Ginger, and refuses any and all advice we have to offer.

I love animals a little too much to sit around and let this happen.

.:Shortcake:. · #2 January 21st, 2011, 04:50 PM

Yikes that poor dog. Maybe take your grandma to a vet with the dog and maybe the vet can get through to her.

SkyBaby · #3 January 21st, 2011, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by .:Shortcake:.

Yikes that poor dog. Maybe take your grandma to a vet with the dog and maybe the vet can get through to her.

The groomer has already said something about it. She just kind of smiles and nods, but does it anyways. >.< My husband has begged and begged me to not get involved, but I can't sit back any longer. I'm going to at least try to get her to exercise more. The thing is, going to the vet would take money that I don't have and I don't think I can get her to pay for it.

missy123 · #4 January 21st, 2011, 06:02 PM

I am so sorry honey... It is hard when you see something like that happening and have little control over it. I hope your DH gets on board with you and helps!

.:Shortcake:. · #5 January 21st, 2011, 06:16 PM

Maybe you could offer to take the dog on a walk every night? It might help by giving her exercise.

SkyBaby · #6 January 21st, 2011, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missy123

I am so sorry honey... It is hard when you see something like that happening and have little control over it. I hope your DH gets on board with you and helps!

My husband wont change. He doesn't quite understand where I'm coming from. As I said, he'd rather see his Grandma happy and let a dog suffer. Ginger doesn't understand what's going on. All she knows is she feels sick and yet she follows Grandma around as her chosen person. I wish Ginger would connect feeling crumby with Grandma's constant over feeding.

Quote:

Originally Posted by .:Shortcake:.

Maybe you could offer to take the dog on a walk every night? It might help by giving her exercise.

I'm going to start doing that in the mean time. I'm going to start slow and work her up so I don't give her a heart attack (which is sadly a likely thing at this point).

StaceygirlPa · #7 January 22nd, 2011, 02:57 AM

I am sorry you are going through this. It is hard to just sit back when you love see things happening and you can't change it. I agree with Katie maybe you can start taking the dog for short walks.

ashj_1218 · #8 January 22nd, 2011, 04:24 AM

Does the dog eat dog food??? If so, is there ANY WAY your grandmother would agree to one of those "automatic feeders." You can measure how much the dog gets for like 7 days and it will automatically spin (at a chosen time) to the serving for that day. You could make an "ease of use" issue...or say that dogs love to have their meal at the same time each day? Or, if she eats dog food, could you offer to buy a couple bags and get the "lower calorie" food? If the dog gets table food, that will totally not help. But anything is worth the effort.

I am with you, that is abuse. Out and out, she is killing her dog. If it were me, I also could not stand back and watch her kill an animal when it is entirely preventable. It is great you are going to take her for walks...that will help. And maybe get some literature on overfeeding/the breed. It sounds almost like your grandmother (or his) is doing this on purpose? If she knows the dog is too fat and she continues to grossly overfeed her. There might not be a way you can prevent it, if she does it for attention or something. IF (so sad) Ginger dies...the LAST thing she needs is another dog. That is sentencing that to death too. I would be fighting that tooth and nail. Your husband is WRONG. Dogs are not expendable. They are living, breathing, feeling animals. If she can't care for this one properly, she does not "just get another."

**EEEkkk...sorry if I was harsh...but I am big on animals and feel it is just wrong to turn on this poor animal. Why can't your grandmother show her affection, get her toys, and play with her instead of showing love through food?

SkyBaby · #9 January 22nd, 2011, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StaceygirlPa

I am sorry you are going through this. It is hard to just sit back when you love see things happening and you can't change it. I agree with Katie maybe you can start taking the dog for short walks.

I'm going to start taking the dog for walks, as that will be a 'quick fix' of sorts. Wont fix the underlying problem which is my Grandma.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashj_1218

Does the dog eat dog food??? If so, is there ANY WAY your grandmother would agree to one of those "automatic feeders." You can measure how much the dog gets for like 7 days and it will automatically spin (at a chosen time) to the serving for that day. You could make an "ease of use" issue...or say that dogs love to have their meal at the same time each day? Or, if she eats dog food, could you offer to buy a couple bags and get the "lower calorie" food? If the dog gets table food, that will totally not help. But anything is worth the effort.

I am with you, that is abuse. Out and out, she is killing her dog. If it were me, I also could not stand back and watch her kill an animal when it is entirely preventable. It is great you are going to take her for walks...that will help. And maybe get some literature on overfeeding/the breed. It sounds almost like your grandmother (or his) is doing this on purpose? If she knows the dog is too fat and she continues to grossly overfeed her. There might not be a way you can prevent it, if she does it for attention or something. IF (so sad) Ginger dies...the LAST thing she needs is another dog. That is sentencing that to death too. I would be fighting that tooth and nail. Your husband is WRONG. Dogs are not expendable. They are living, breathing, feeling animals. If she can't care for this one properly, she does not "just get another."

**EEEkkk...sorry if I was harsh...but I am big on animals and feel it is just wrong to turn on this poor animal. Why can't your grandmother show her affection, get her toys, and play with her instead of showing love through food?

Ginger gets the correct serving of dog food in the evening. That's not what's making her fat. It's all the people food on top of that. That dog food is made available to Ginger, but she doesn't eat it. Grandma is reinforcing Ginger's human food addiction by constantly caving and giving her human food as she is afraid Ginger will starve. No matter how much I assure Grandma that when Ginger gets hungry enough she will eat, she caves. On top of access to dog food, Ginger's daily diet consists of: greasy nasty dog treats that actually do make her sick; human snack foods (whatever Grandma gets, Ginger gets some, too- chips, bread AND butter, you get the idea); as well as whatever Grandma is eating for dinner.

I know my husband is wrong. No dog deserves that even if it is "being loved". I know my husband wont do something like give her another dog if it upsets me enough. He wont do that if it alienates me and goes against every grain in my body.

I don't think my Grandma is doing this for attention, but I could be wrong. She was a horrible mother and never learned responsibility. She did drugs around her children (my mom in law and her siblings as kids). I know she has issues.

missy123 · #10 January 22nd, 2011, 10:19 AM

I think it is sad that you are having to take care of her dog... You are such a good person for sacrificing your time for the dogs health.

Has anyone just come out and had a straight forward talk with the woman - like kept it simple and said "you are killing the dog, it is going to die within a year"...

((Hugs)) I have no idea what I would do in your situation.

Field Mouse · #11 January 22nd, 2011, 10:38 AM

lol

luvmykids623 · #12 January 22nd, 2011, 10:45 AM

My grandma (dad's mom) used to do that too. She passed away when I was 16, but I can remember a long chain of dogs (mostly Boston Terriers) that she had that were WAY over weight. She only had one dog at a time, and I remembering when I was younger wondering why she never had the same dog for more than 1-2 years when ours were around for a long time. I now know it's because they were severely overfed and always suffered from heart problems. She would feed the dog whatever she was eating, and then would do things like cook meals for the dog on top of the dog food she was giving them. My uncle (her oldest son) lived with her and would delight in showing us how the dog knew how to operate the M&M dispenser. They had a plastic bubblegum machine type contraption that had M&Ms in it, and they would teach each dog how to push the spinner thing down so it would give them M&Ms. I remember trying to tell them when I was young that dogs aren't supposed to have chocolate, but they didn't care. She took the dogs to the vet regularly and they told her about the dangers, but it didn't stop her. To her (and my uncle) she was taking the utmost care of the dog, and she never listened to anything ANYONE had to say. I remember vividly the sound of the poor little dogs grunting and huffing and puffing for breath just sitting there, not to mention the sounds all of them made when they were walking. Dog after dog suffered the same fate. After my grandma passed my uncle continued the trend until the dog parade ended when he passed away last year. It was really sad!

I'm glad you're standing up for the dog, even if she and your DH don't get it! It's a really hard thing to watch!