Feeling lost (Preg ment)

tobi4 · #1 January 23rd, 2011, 05:17 PM

Like the title says, Im feeling so lost. Im trying hard to feel like I 'fit in' with my ddc. But my heart isnt there. I dont feel comfortable or secure with this pregnancy yet. I still visit JM just as often as always, Im just reading all the posts, keeping up with all our ttcal ladies, yet not fitting here anymore either. This is a very lonely place to be.

JesSsica · #2 January 23rd, 2011, 05:24 PM

Coming out of lurking to add that I understand. I don't think that once you're pregnant after loss you ever feel secure with the pregnancy until you're holding your little one. It's definitely a hard place to be... Lots of positive thoughts coming your way.

I'm pretty lonely around here too. I'm not actively TTC, I'm not technically waiting to TTC because we're not sure if that's even a road we're going to go down again, and my kids are too old for the playgroups. I lurk like crazy but I don't have a "home" here either. We need a board for those of us who like to come here but don't have a category. hehe

ohnicole · #3 January 23rd, 2011, 05:33 PM

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, Tobi

I know there's nothing any of us can really say to make you feel any better, and I wish that wasn't true. We all still love you, and you will always fit in with us. It must be a hard place to be in right now. I'm here if you ever need me

.:Shortcake:. · #4 January 23rd, 2011, 05:36 PM

Tobi I am so sorry your feeling this way. I want you and all the other ladies to know that no matter where you are in your TTC journey you are ALWAYS welcome here. We love you and although we might not understand exactly what your going through right now we are here for you. I know alot of our grads like Pregnancy After Loss because they do not feel comfortable in their DDC. But I want you to know we are here and I don't want you to ever not feel welcome or comfortable here.

Micksbabe · #5 January 23rd, 2011, 05:56 PM

I agree with Katie you are always welcome here

missy123 · #6 January 23rd, 2011, 07:56 PM

So stay here, we love you!!!

AZsnowflake · #7 January 23rd, 2011, 08:04 PM

I'm so sorry you feel lonely

dreamer10 · #8 January 23rd, 2011, 08:13 PM

I totally hear you girl...I have been feeling the same way. I would just rather stay here....but I get kind of discouraged having to hide my siggy all the time cause I honestly don't want to hurt anyone, but my (our) ddc just doesnt feel right either. I only post there once or twice a week. I log on to JM everyday...but all I do is browse anymore.

missy123 · #9 January 23rd, 2011, 08:23 PM

Ok, this all brings me back to what I bring up every 6 months or so in this board. I do not feel that just because some of you are pregnant that you have to hide your siggys. When I bring it up people fight me on it saying they don't like to see the preggy siggies but really now... if you are not healed enough to TTCAL yet then you should not be here. Oh and like you all know I understand the heartache that goes with all of this. Phew, thanks for letting me vent with my jumbled mess above.

Micksbabe · #10 January 23rd, 2011, 08:27 PM

I agree with Missy the siggies don't bother me they give me hope that I will have my rainbow baby someday

momof6lopez · #11 January 23rd, 2011, 08:42 PM

I dont know you as well as the other girls, but I lurk alot here too

I never felt at home in my ddc/pr.....I post there maybe twice a month, and Im starting to post more here again! Im not TTCAL, I just feel at home here and always will. Your not alone, trust me! We are all at different points in our ttcal journeys, but we all have one thing very much in commen which ties us together more than any other group here on JM. Doesnt mean you wont feel safe enough one day to enjoy your ddc, but until then....just hang out were your the most comfortable!

kzoo1280 · #12 January 24th, 2011, 03:21 AM

Tobi I agree with Missy and Megan...I understand you dont feel like you fit in here anymore, but I definitely don't mind seeing ttcal graduates post on here. You guys are an inspiration and give me hope

Please stop by often!

.:Shortcake:. · #13 January 24th, 2011, 03:25 AM

Ditto what they said. I do understand that their are ladies still grieving (I still grieve each and every day) BUT you ladies are what gives me hope. There are always going to be graduates

and there unfortunately will always be new ladies joining

I know everyone heals in their own way but I LOVE seeing pregnancy tickers and the siggys. So please don't ever feel like you can't post here.

StaceygirlPa · #14 January 24th, 2011, 03:28 AM

Tobi I am sorry you are feeling this way. I agree with Katie and Missy. I think you should just stay here. As far as turning off your siggy Tobi and Julie I feel like you don't have to. Seeing you with your siggy gives all of us hope.

avasmom603 · #15 January 24th, 2011, 03:30 AM

I know how you feel Tobi! I feel the same way. I try to post as much as I can over there, but it feels strange. I don't know if it's because I am so late in the month of August, having twins, being 40, or just getting over my loss in October. I am going to keep trying though. Maybe once we get out of the first trimester we'll feel better.

ashj_1218 · #16 January 24th, 2011, 03:33 AM

Aw. I am so sorry you feel that way. And I think you should keep posting here too. I plan to. I think it can be hard to feel so vastly different about pregnancy than the ladies in your DDC. Hopefully the PAL board will get a little busier with more ladies coming over

I have the feeling I will feel the same way you do when I am at your stage. Oh, and I never thought the siggys were painful either. They are very inspiring. I hope we can have one soon

dreamer10 · #17 January 24th, 2011, 04:18 AM

See? This is why I don't want to leave it here....this board is bar none the best board on JM....why would anyone want to leave? I admit we all want to graduate from TTC to waiting to give birth....but I just wanna stay here...it's my home on JM....

missy123 · #18 January 24th, 2011, 05:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by momof5lopez

We are all at different points in our ttcal journeys, but we all have one thing very much in common which ties us together more than any other group here on JM.

That is EXACTLY how I feel!

Pitridge · #19 January 24th, 2011, 06:07 AM

I know the feeling. When I got pg with DS, I stayed on this board for months, joined PAL, but never joined my DDC, my heart wasn't there. The girls at PAL understood how I felt, so I made that my DDC.

BeccaM · #20 January 24th, 2011, 08:01 AM

Tobi, I know how you feel. I try to post alot on the DDC but I do it in hopes of it making me feel more comfortable in this pregnancy. TTCAL will always be my home. I dont know if I will ever feel completly comfy with this pregnancy - now more than ever but I have to try. Im here for you wether its on TTCAL or in the DDC. PM me if you ever just want to talk.