Need a little support- Preg mentioned

MommytoCal · #1 January 23rd, 2011, 06:43 PM

So, DH and I have been over the moon excited about this pregnancy. I see the RE on Monday but so far according to OB things look great. I will be monitored by RE of course then back to my high risk OB. Well, tonight I couldn't hold it in and had to tell someone so I told my mom. I totally did not get the reaction I expected. She basically made me feel awful for trying before they knew what was wrong with me and now that if I lose this one it will be our own fault we didn't wait until testing. Now, my mom isn't normally like this, she is normally really supportive so I was just devastated. Even though my RE told us to try until our appointment and after, I just feel so lost. I went back and forth in either waiting or trying this cycle. My gut and heart both told me to try and I got my BFP, now I'm second guessing everything and feel so down

. I wanted only positive thoughts for this baby and I'm instantly terrified. . . Sorry for the rambling and vent I just didn't quite know where to go with this one. It's just you ladies have been super supportive and I wish I would have found you after my first loss years ago. . . . .

ohnicole · #2 January 23rd, 2011, 07:01 PM

I'm sorry

It must be hard to hear your mom saying those things. But it's your life, and you have to follow your instincts and do what you think is best. You can't ask anymore of yourself than that. I think it's great that you and DH are so excited about this pg, and I hope a good night of sleep will let some of that fear go away. Huge hugs!

MommytoCal · #3 January 23rd, 2011, 07:06 PM

Thank You!

purplelady · #4 January 23rd, 2011, 07:25 PM

i am sorry you didnt get the support and reaction you wanted from your mom. its hard when the ones you love give you a hard time, maybe she is just scared and not sure how to deal with her feelings on your new pregnancy or even her feelings over your loss. i am sure she will come around and be more supportive hun.

AZsnowflake · #5 January 23rd, 2011, 08:01 PM

I am so sorry hun! You say she is not normally like that, she probably is afraid too and just doesn't know how to handle it. Don't second guess yourself, it is your choice not hers!

dreamer10 · #6 January 23rd, 2011, 08:18 PM

People in our lives mean well, but they don't always know what they are talking about. I already put this in another post, but I told one of my sisters I was pregnant and her reaction was "I supported you, and emotionally invested last time you were pregnant, and I just can't go there this time....sorry!"....so honestly....sometimes the people in our lives mean well and think they know whats best for us. But all it boils down to is that is what they would do with their lives, and since we are different people we make different decisions. I wish people could sometimes realize that and just love us through it...

.:Shortcake:. · #7 January 24th, 2011, 03:21 AM

Hugs! I know there are times when the people in our lives say mean/hurtful things. I try my best to remember that they haven't been in our shoes ourselves and try not to hold it against them. But no matter what it does hurt. I'm sorry that she said that stuff. I am praying for you and your bean. And remember if your body wasn't ready you wouldn't have gotten pregnant so apparently it was meant to be.

kzoo1280 · #8 January 24th, 2011, 03:26 AM

I am sure your mom will come around soon. She's probably as terrified as you are and is expressing it poorly. It's great that you and DH have the support of eachother, and of course, you always have us

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!

StaceygirlPa · #9 January 24th, 2011, 03:32 AM

I am sorry your mom made you feel that way. Like the other ladies said maybe she is just scared for you. I know my mom used to say things she didn't mean when she was scared for me. Our mom's don't like to see us go through pain. Sending lots of hugs.

ashj_1218 · #10 January 24th, 2011, 03:38 AM

Chances are the other ladies are right...your mom is afraid (not for herself, but for the pain you will be in if something were to happen). She is doing a poor job expressing her fears. But I would just tell her the RE said it was fine that you were trying again and that even if the testing means well...it might not be necessary at all if you have a healthy bean growing in there. It is all a crap-shoot. But I think you should talk to your mom more about it, since she is likely trying to protect you, without realizing that no amount of protecting is going to help in this situation. Sorry it was not the reaction you were looking for

I really hope all goes well for you this pregnancy. I love having a DD buddy