some advice or words needed

CherryTrue · #1 January 24th, 2011, 10:49 AM

I had a "failed pregnancy" December 1, 2010. My husband and I have decided to try again but my emotions are still running high. My last menstrual period began on January 6, 2011, and I must say it was probably the hardest period I have ever gone through. It just brought up feelings again, and made me keep thinking that it just isn't fair.

I am also having the issue of wanting to cry after my husband and I have sex.

I really want a baby added to the family, and so does my husband. I just have so many questions and thoughts still about our loss.

Having sex to "try" and get pregnant again is just heartbreaking, it took us 17 months to get pregnant to begin with, and then it was taken away. I'm scared that it is going to take a long time to get pregnant again, and I am finding it very hard to handle at times.

I am just wondering if anyone else has gone through this and looking for some advice on how to get through this hard time, and many emotions.

missy123 · #2 January 24th, 2011, 10:53 AM

I am very sorry for your loss. It is so heartbreaking when you TTC for so long and then all of your hopes and dreams are taken away from you.

Welcome, feel free to vent away. We all understand what you are going through. ((Hugs))

.:Shortcake:. · #3 January 24th, 2011, 10:54 AM

Hugs! I am very sorry for your loss. How your feeling is "normal". You lost your baby. Allow yourself to grieve that loss and know that we are here for you. I think for me talking about it to the ladies here helped tremendously. They understood what I was going through and had nothing but kind words for me. Try to not look at sex as for just making a baby. Try spicing things up and just having sex again for the fun of it. Welcome to the board and I really hope you get your rainbow baby soon!

lindsey2000k · #4 January 24th, 2011, 10:57 AM

This is by far the best TTC after a loss board I have ever found. There are many ladies here in your shoes.
I had a miscarriage 4 years ago and then another one this past October.

I know how you feel every period that came and went was almost a reminder that I was not pregnant anymore and even reminded me of the miscarriage itself.
I also had problems TTC again, I was scared of what might happen if I got pregnant again. The whole process was just so draining and to this day still is at times.

Welcome to TTCAL and I hope you find great support and friends here... I am just sorry we had to meet this way.

MeganMomof5 · #5 January 24th, 2011, 03:04 PM

I'm sorry for your loss

I'm sure that everything your feeling is very normal...I hope in time things will get easier. (((hugs)))

Joanna1127 · #6 January 24th, 2011, 04:13 PM

Hello,

I'm also sorry for your loss.

It is very emotionally draining. Please know that we understand what you are going through and I hope your stay here is short. hugs!

CherryTrue · #7 January 26th, 2011, 09:05 AM

Thank You so much Ladies! It's good to know there are others out there who understand and can relate to what I am going through. It's pointless to talk to my husband since he doesn't truly understand how I am feeling, or why I am crying at certain times, especially after "the deed". It certainly helps to have somewhere to go to talk about everything and hear back from other women who have gone through the same thing. Thanks Again :-)

AZsnowflake · #8 January 26th, 2011, 09:43 AM

I am so sorry for your loss!

StaceygirlPa · #9 January 26th, 2011, 09:54 AM

I am sorry for your loss. What you are feeling is totally normal. The ladies in here are very helpful. After trying for 3 years we have had 3 losses in the last year.

skittle2011 · #10 January 26th, 2011, 09:59 AM

I totally get what you are going through. I lost my baby the beginning of October. I cry so often and especially when I get my period . For awhile I couldn't figure out if I was crying because I was not pregnant "this month" or crying because my period is a reminder of my loss. I'm sure it is a little of both, but ultimately, I still am very much greiving and although the thought of a rainbow baby is amazing - I still know I am not ready - I think I will have a hard time (pregnant or not) until my due date. I know it won't go away after that - but the feeling of "I should be pregnant" will hopefully drift at that point. Then I can focus on getting pregnant because I want another baby, not because I feel like "I should be pregnant". Right now, I just can't over that. It is hard.

Erin84 · #11 January 26th, 2011, 01:13 PM

I'm sorry for the loss of your little dream

I know what you mean about it taking so long though. DH and I tried for just over a year to get pregnant with Drew, I carried him, birthed him... And now we have nothing. On top of everything else, I think of all that time... It took us so long to get pregnant, I carried him to term, and now we have to get pregnant again. I can relate to how you feel in that respect. I love the ladies here. I hope you stick around, this really is a wonderful group to be part of!

SillyKitty · #12 January 26th, 2011, 03:51 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. Like all the others said, this is a great group for support. Every woman here can relate in some way to what you are going through, which sounds normal.