[.:Shortcake:.]

No one should ever have to feel they can't post here. We are a family here and love one another no matter where we are in this journey. I have have been here for 2 years and this is my home on JM. The ultimate ending we all want is to go on and have a healthy/successful pregnancy/pregnancies. So a solution. Grads, Newbies and everyone please stay here and post. Here is a way for anyone not wanting to see others siggys can make it so that they do not have to.




Scroll down the page until your page until you come to this




If anyone has any questions please free free to PM me.

[missy123]

I have been a member of JM since 2005 and never knew this. Thanks Katie!

[StaceygirlPa]

Thanks Katie and I agree with you. I think everyone should be able to stay here. I know this board feels like home to me.

[Celena]

AWESOME, love the snip it's... this will make it a 1,000x's easier for users to select that option!!!

Thank you Katie for doing this!!!

[.:Shortcake:.]

No problem Celena I hope to one day be a grad and I want to forever be posting here with my family!

[TnPhotoMama81]

Thank you Katie for doing this

[.:Shortcake:.]

*Bumping*

[JessP]

Very cool. I have been here since 2009 and didn't know you could do that. I knew I could turn off mine but I sometimes forget. Mind if I share this info with the ladies on the PL board?

[shen7]

[[[ warning - this turned into a much longer post than originally intended!!! lol ]]]

I have used this before. There was a time where I couldn't stand to see even the pics of kids in the siggies, I was so despondent about ever being able to have children of my own. And like Shadeaux I found the siggies a bit distracting at first, too.

I know a lot of TTCAL folks love to see pregnancy tickers in grads' siggies, but I don't believe that everybody does. I know I didn't. When I hadn't been around that long, I didn't know the back stories or anything, those siggies just confirmed the "everybody is pregnant except me" feelings. Of course, in healthier moments and after more time on JM, I found them inspiring. But I really do think TTCAL should be a safe place for people who are hurting too, and new joiners.

I remember noticing that Kary never had her siggy on and I never thought about why. Then I looked in the Grads section and saw that she was pregnant with twins! Honestly, I was shocked. But I appreciated how careful she was not to broadcast it on TTCAL. If she had left her siggy on I probably would have started avoiding her posts when I was in a bad mood. I think she did a really good job hosting TTCAL as a grad.

I usually figure it's fine to leave the siggy on in a "preg ment" thread but not in general. I'll leave mine on in this thread, but I think I'll continue to leave it off in general TTCAL threads. It's just what I'm comfortable doing. I don't mean this to be disrespectful of anyone's wishes, I just want to do what would have been best for me, back when I was new on the board.

And I don't think "not belonging" in TTCAL anyway when you're pregnant is AT ALL because of not being made welcome - everybody is super welcoming and sweet to us grads, as far as I've seen. It's just that you aren't in the game anymore. You aren't doing the 2ww's. You remember it like yesterday, but it's not your day-to-day. As time goes on it gets increasingly different from what you're dealing with. So it's harder to interact, there's no "oh yeah, me too!" Even when you lurk like crazy and try to jump in on threads where you have something to say, you just find that you don't have as much to say anymore. Not like you never have anything to say - it's just more rare that you actually feel compelled to post. Or that's my experience, anyway. I hope that makes sense, I might not be explaining things well!!! :/

ETA: I also want to say, TTCAL IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME. I love this board far beyond anything else on JM or all the internets. I was in a seriously confused and distraught state when I found this board, and it got me straightened out - I learned that there were people like me, my feelings were normal for what I had been through, and there were tools to help me conceive faster and track my cycle. I got to vent, get encouragement and information, laugh, and generally feel like a normal human being again. I wouldn't be pregnant right now without TTCAL. I love you guys.

[stargatemommy]

I turn my siggy off when I post here too... Unless of course the title says pregnancy mentioned...

I LOVED it here in TCCAL, but honestly, I am happy to not be here anymore... That might sound rude, but it's true. I stalk the board regularly, but I usually don't feel like I have anything to contribute.... I am not a part of it anymore. I can't share your frustration with the 2ww or OPKs, when I am really not thinking about that stuff anymore. I really do care, I just feel like an impostor if I try to sympathise...

I also don't want to contribute to the pain others are experiencing... While I was here I was fine most of the time, but sometimes, usually right after a loss, I was very emotional. I remember seeing other members get pregnant and have babies, while I was still having miscarriage after miscarriage... and it hurt. I remember feeling hopeless when someone who had been here for a shorter time than me had "graduated" and I was STILL here...

I also remember it stinging when a member of my old DDC would post. Even if they turned their siggy off, I still knew who they were, and that that had succeeded where I had failed. I know that was not there intention, and they shouldn't have take my feelings into consideration, but it still hurt. Some really wonderful ladies left my DDC and I don't want to be the reminder of what they lost...

[.:Shortcake:.]

Jess I'd love for you to share it. I think that for the people that aren't ready to see the siggy's/tickers they probably aren't ready to be TTCAL iykwim. I don't want anyone to not feel comfortable here on this board. And by the poll it does look like it gives majority of us hope.

[StaceygirlPa]

I can only speak for myself and I have said this before and but I will say it again. I joined this board in July when I lost peanut. I know I wouldn't have made it through that m/c without the ladies on this board. My husband is the type he really don't show his feelings. So having this board really helped. Since the first lost I have had two Chemical's. When I feel like giving up the graduates give me hope and the ladies give me hope that one day I will hold my rainbow baby. I love reading the stories from the graduates. I hope everyone keeps on posting on this board. I feel like Katie does. If someone isn't ready to see someone's siggy's/tickers they are ready to TTCAL.

[Pame£a]

I think this is a great idea!

I joined this board back at the end of 2006 after my first loss and wow, the support was amazing. I was part of it for 18 months before getting pregnant with my baby girl. Even when I first joined, it never bothered me seeing the preggo siggys. that was my hope and I loved following along in their journeys. We ended up having a pregnancy boom and it caused a lot of problems and really hurt alot of the grads. We had to hide our siggys and others were saying they weren't coming around because of the siggys. their losses were fresh. We were hurt because we were part of this huge wonderful family and then felt we weren't welcome anymore so alot of us just didn't post anymore.

I feel that both newbies, regulars, and grads have to be sensitive to each other and not just the grads needing to be sensitive. It's a 3 way street. I realize that most of us who have a loss want or need to get right back in the game and won't have that healing time and will have to heal as she goes along.

I think this really should be stickied and have it titled to please read here first before posting.

Sorry if I'm all over the place, scatterbrain at the moment