[LindseyE117]

Ok, so we moved to another state back in October of last year right after my miscarriage. I have never, and I mean NEVER been able to stay home with the kids and just relax. We crunched numbers and we were able to let me stay home after we moved to let me take care of the kids and the house. I love it. Plus I can go over to my sisters whenever I want (she lives like 1 mile from me) and see my neices or do anything that needs to be done.

Some of do not know, but I also suffer from extreme anxiety disorder. Being at home has helped me a lot, but mine is focused on large crowds and driving in traffic. Before I could not be in a huge crowd or crowded place and ever since I was t-boned in an intersection and almost killed over a year ago, it prevented me from driving in traffic. I am getting better, but I still struggle at times. I can drive if someone is in the car with me to distract me from panicing, but I cannot always someone in the car with me. I usually speaker phone my husband then and let him talk me through the panic.

Anyway, long story short, I got a job offer that seems wonderful. I'd make enough to help out and things wouldn't be tight anymore. (we can survive fine now, but the extra money would be nice for new things and family time out) But here is my dilema.... The drive is not far and does not require freeway use, but I may have issues driving it every day. Then again, it may be good for me to help me conquer this once and for all. On the other hand, I would have to find childcare for after school and this summer which would completely defeat the purpose of me working. Also, I am on the fence on whether I want to work or not (maybe it is just fear of the drive, I dunno). But the job is at a doctor's office, which I wanted. Plus my husband's insurance at his place sucks so we have to buy out of pocket every month for me and the kids. We could get better insurance that covers pregnancy.

What would you do if you were me?

[missy123]

Deep down what do you want to do?

[StaceygirlPa]

I agree with Missy. Deep down what do you want to do?

[LindseyE117]

Originally Posted by missy123

Deep down what do you want to do?

See that is the problem. I don't know. I have been trying to figure this out since yesterday and it is driving me insane. The thought of working scares the cr*p out of me, but I am not sure why. Is it because of my disorder, or is it because I feel I need to work to help out? I am quite happy at the house and with my children, but I feel I need to contribute so we can go out and do things as a family. But then again, if I work, will we ever have time?

Also, I take online college classes too.

[Shadeauxe]

Well, if the after school care would completely erase any money you make, I don't see the point in forcing yourself through the stress. You don't need the added stress of trying not to get fired for being late while dealing with your anxiety. If the money you make was 60% you keep and 40% to daycare, then it's a tougher choice.

[.:Shortcake:.]

I agree with Courtney. Why work at all if the money is just going to daycare for the kids? But you have to look inside yourself and see what you want.

[Cait&AngelAbove]

I agree with Courtney as well. If all you money is just going to go to daycare then it does not make as much sense but if you feel like you need to get back out there then that is different.

[LindseyE117]

It's not like I need to get back out there and work. Honestly I want the job mainly for purely selfish reasons. Yes it would be great to get a little bit of extra money, and prolly a little better insurance, but the job is at a plastic surgeon's office. They will give you one free procedure a year. That was the main appeal to me. I know it sounds bad, but my anxiety and the kids were the main reasons I wanted to hold back on it. Is it really worth my stress? Plus the kids love me at home and love the fact that I can do school activities with them. I always missed out when I worked.

Anyway, I turned the job down. If I have to stress about whether a job is good for me, then it probably isn't.

[Shadeauxe]

Originally Posted by LindseyE117

Anyway, I turned the job down. If I have to stress about whether a job is good for me, then it probably isn't.

[missy123]

Are children (other than your own) stressors in your anxiety? If not and you want to contribute to the household why not take in a few children into your home for daycare and make money that way? Or there are legit jobs that you can work from home. Some are much more structured than others.

There is a board here on JM called work at home mommies. Maybe they can offer you some suggestions? Work at Home Mommies - JustMommies Message Boards

[ohnicole]

I think you made the right decision if you were stressing out about it so much. And Missy had some great suggestions.