[Banned-elly03]

i know that my husband is really sensitive to loss (long history of losing people he cares about), but he caught me completely off-guard today and i was not prepared for that at all.

he was talking to his little sister on skype(she is in egypt right now) and she made a comment along the lines of 'can someone please explain why my plants keep dying?'
his retort was 'can someone please explain why my babies keep dying?'
i know he wasnt trying to be mean (he and his sister a very close) i just think hes at a loss of how to communicate his feelings now.
when he said that i got a huge lump in my throat and my eyes welled up. it wasnt because he hurt my feelings, but because it hurts me that it hurts him so much.

he is someone who takes life in stride and doesnt dwell, but these losses have completely unraveled that.
all i could do was give him a big hug and tell him that it will be okay again soon. then i started crying when our daughter gave him (well his leg) a hug, i guess she sensed he needed one



i feel my breaking point coming, but im hoping it once my husband has gone back to work and has distractions. for now, back to being positive

[.:Shortcake:.]

Most men handle a loss differently than we as women do. Just be there for him as much as you can and let this bring you closer together.

[ohnicole]

It is great that your DH is able to express his feelings about the loss at all- so many men can't. I think you're doing great at being there for him.

[Joanna1127]

aww, sending many hugs to you and your family!

[TnPhotoMama81]

Originally Posted by .:Shortcake:.

Most men handle a loss differently than we as women do. Just be there for him as much as you can and let this bring you closer together.

Ditto to what Katie said.

Just be there for him as much as possible.

Maybe you two could do something this spring in rememberance of your losses? We are going to find some nice stones for our flower garden I think.

*hugs to you and your husband*

[Cait&AngelAbove]

My husband handles our loss in a different way than I did. He bottled up his emotions for a while.

[jessjillmama]

My husband was very hurt when we had a m/c. He took it a lot harder then I expected. Hang in there and try to show your love to him and hopefully he will do the same for you. Hugs!

[Banned-elly03]

i got some more insight into him this morning. last night he stayed up late, and i found out he was talking to a friend back in north carolina (after having a little bit to drink). he feels responsible for the losses because i have never "had problems keeping the babies healthy when im (my husband) not around" refering to how i went into preterm labor and delivered our first pregnancy at 33wks, 4 days after he got back from 3mo of military stuff.
he IS a medical klutz, to the point where they can just pull up his records as soon as he walks in the door, but he thinks its rubbed off on me and thats why we cant keep pregnant.
and then we have the whole 'i should be protecting my wife from pain and suffering' thing *sigh*
mr logical has lost his sense of logic

[SillyKitty]

Awe, even though he is going through a hard time, it sounds like you have a great husband who really cares about you and your family together.

[luvmykids623]

for both of you.

[*SamF*]

glad he is expressing his feelings, even if he's being a bit illogical. I think we all are a little illogical when it comes to our losses.