[Erin84]

We're not on speaking terms anyway, but I just found out that she's been telling people that Drew died because I'm unfit to be a mother.

It doesn't sting the way you would expect it to when a mother says something like that about her daughter, because she's never really been a mother to me... But I have to say, that's hands-down the most hateful thing anyone has ever said to me or about me in my life.

I'm just sitting here shaking. I'm shocked.

[Banned-elly03]

i am sooooo sorry she said such a disgusting and hateful thing!!! *big hugs*
a cant believe anyone (let alone someone who has brought forth life) could say something like that!
you love drew more than she could ever know, and nothing you did caused that.



but, if youd like, it could be my fault she trips and gets a hand-shaped bruise across her face. she definitely needs one

[Pame£a]

I'm so sorry hun. That really would hurt anybody. I don't really know you irl but I do know you would never have stopped fighting for him. You will always be his mom and he is waiting for you up there and until you meet again, he is watching over you.

Hugs hun

[Shadeauxe]

That's absurd. The only way it would be your fault is if you were a murderer, which you obviously are not. I don't know why people can be like that sometimes. I can definitely empathize with parents saying bad things.

There was a time once when my dad didn't like the way I was fertilizing the lawn (walking willy nilly instead of in straight lines) so he picked me up off of the ground by my throat and I couldn't breathe. I thought I was going to die (though in retrospect, I don't think I was actually close to dying). I was 17 or 18 at that time. Anyway, a year later, when I was home from college, we were having a family discussion about some thing my dad was unhappy about. I confronted him about the fertilizer incident. I said, "I almost died that day." His reply was, "Well, you're lucky you didn't because I wanted to kill you."

<continued in next post maybe, I don't know why it doesn't like this>

I was shocked. That haunted me for a long time. It has no power over me now and I get along fine with my father, surprisingly. I got to a point after college where I decided that I didn't want my past with him poisoning my present anymore. My general philosophy was (and still is) that I love the person that I am and I became this way because of my past, good and bad. That really helped me let everything go and be at peace with everything that has happened and anything that happens now.

I am not saying that this is what you're supposed to do in your life. I am just babbling about myself. I just wanted you to know that I know how it is when a parent says something truly awful. It seems like you have a good handle on it and extreme anger is the same emotion I would have.

[StaceygirlPa]

I am so sorry your mom said something that hateful about you. I don't understand parents sometimes. Sending you lots of hugs.

[Shadeauxe]

Wow that was a paint in the butt. Maybe it was the universe's way of trying to stop me from posting this and I am just being stubborn. Who knows.

[kzoo1280]

Erin - i'm so sorry you had to hear that. I am sure you aren't taking it to heart, but please understand you did nothing to cause her to say such a hurtful thing. And you did nothing to cause Drew's death. Big hugs, sweetie.

Courtney - yikes, i'm sorry you had to grow up like that. What an awful thing to be a part of. I hope you have lots of love in your life now. Hugs to you too.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Erin I am so so sorry. I cannot believe any human being could be so cruel as to say, let alone your own "mother". Keep your head up and IT WAS NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM YOUR FAULT. Love you lady.

Courtney I am so sorry you had to deal with your father like that

[mafiamom]

i am just so very sorry you would ever have to hear something like that, and from your mother no less. that is so hateful. sounds like she is the type of person who needs to blame someone for everything that happens in her life.

i think the parent child relationship is so complex. i will never forget the day when i realized my parents were just PEOPLE, like anyone else. people i could like or dislike, respect or not..... it was an eye opening day for me.

huge hugs. she sounds bitter to me~

[Twoboysmaybemore]

I am so sorry that you had to hear something so completely horrid and untrue.

While it certainly wouldn't make your relationship any closer, I would be so tempted to tell your mother that you are so thankful that it doesn't work that way, otherwise you wouldn't exist. Because of comments like that, she is proving that she is unfit to be a mother.

I am so very sorry for your loss of your sweet Drew. (((hugs)))

[missy123]

I am very sorry Erin and Courtney and completely understand as I grew up with a mother, father and stepfather <-- all that should never have had children. I have made mistakes myself down the road with my own but nothing like they have been to me.

Remember to love yourself and you did not pick your family.

[Kary♥RN]

OMG... I am so so so sorry that anyone would say that.. let alone the person that you call "mother". I wish I could take that pain away. Please Please don't let this eat you up inside. If you have to write her note and get it out of you..(even if you don't send it) Just GET IT OUT. And let it go. She is not worth it, Anyone who would say that about a loss... doesn't derserve your time. HUGS HUGS HUGS

[SillyKitty]

Erin, your "mother" wouldn't know what a good mother is. It is so hard to disregard the words of the person who was supposed to support and protect you, but she is not that person. I'm so sorry.

[AZsnowflake]

Erin, I am so sorry. What an awful thing for a MOTHER to say!!! Hugs!

[shen7]

I just had to post on this because it upset me so much. Erin, you are a wonderful supportive person who has been through a tragic loss recently, you even know what went wrong for Drew and that it was just one of those random medical things that no one could have known about or prevented, and you shouldn't have to deal with crap like that from ANYONE, much less your mother!!!!!!!!!! Her comment says a lot about what kind of person she is, and it says NOTHING about YOU.

It is sad to realize that your mother, your parent, someone who you are supposed to count on, is in fact a deranged and toxic person. I'm so sorry that you don't have a mother as sweet as you are to support you. HUGS

[TnPhotoMama81]

She is nuts. I left you a message on your FB post. I am so glad you are writing her out of your life. She doesn't deserve to be called a "Mother".

Love you!

[*SamF*]

She doesn't deserve the title mother. So sorry you have to even deal with things she says.

Courtney- HUGS!

[sadie97007]

I'm so sorry Erin. That really sucks. What a horrible, horrible thing to say. It's not like you aren't dealing with enough, with the loss of your baby, but to pour some serious and unfounded salt on a gaping wound..........I cannot even imagine. You are much stronger than I. I know you know, but nothing you did caused the loss of your baby.

[EJsMommy]

I am so sorry Erin and Courtney. I am not sure what to say but I just want to let you know that you are so much more than they want to spread (negatively). Even if I do not personally know either one of you I want to say that you are both good and loving ladies that would not hurt your children even if they no longer is in this world.

[Shadeauxe]

You guys really don't need to worry about me. I truly am at peace with everything, plus I don't want to hijack Erin's thread.