[luvmykids623]

I've been trying so hard to stay upbeat. Most of you know I have 3 coworkers/friends that are due 2 days-2 weeks of when I was (April 12th). With my other 2 losses work was a place that was a safe haven for me. Now it's pure torture. They all work in my hallway and I see them ALL THE TIME!!! I started looking forward to April, because they'll be gone on maternity leave and I won't have to see them and their growing bellies right in my face all. day. long. DH and I are struggling to conceive. I hate to say this, but getting pregnant hasn't been a problem for us in the past, it's always been staying pregnant. Now I'm in new territory and it's so much more disheartening. I convinced myself last cycle that perhaps this wasn't something that God was doing to me, maybe it was something he was doing for me. I've always wanted an October baby, and have been unwilling to go for it, because I never wanted to miss the beginning of the school year. Well, my October possibility cycle came and went with a giant BFN. I was knocked down again, but got back up thinking that this cycle I would be due in November, but would probably deliver in October if I got pregnant because of my history. I've been going with that for some glimmer of hope. I went into work today and another of my coworkers told me that she's pregnant and due October 19th. She wasn't even trying, she didn't want any more kids, and now SHE gets an October baby. Are you kidding me?!? ***!!!!!!! Now the other 3 leaving in April doesn't matter, because I'll still be stuck with this one, knowing that she got what I wanted so badly when she didn't want it AT ALL. I seriously feel like I want to crawl in a hole and die.

[ohnicole]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, Lori Struggling to get pregnant on top of pregnancy loss is so awful. The way the world works, who gets pregnant and who doesn't, who gets a baby and who doesn't, just makes no sense at all. It's not fair, and I'm not sure how to not be angry or depressed by it, either. I really hope that this is your cycle, and that you get your October baby. We are here for you when you need us, Lori

[.:Shortcake:.]

I am so sorry your going through this. I am going through the same thing (Ppl around me getting pg and not wanting it). It defiantly is heartbreaking. I wish I could take away your pain.

[Micksbabe]

I am sorry Lori it drives me nuts when people who don't want kids end up pregnant. I am right there with you I was due April 2 and my sister just went into labour this afternoon, I was only 5 weeks behind her. It is so depressing. It sucks that you have see them everyday and just when you thought it was over you have to go through it all over again

[missy123]

I am so sorry. I can't even imagine having to see them everyday at work and having that kind of constant reminder sticking you in the face. It must sting so bad. I work from home so do not see pregnant women too often. Today I took my son to the doctors and the nurse was pregnant. I just kept staring at her belly. I can't imagine having to face that all the time. ((Hugs)) I hope your time is soon.

[Cait&AngelAbove]

I am so sorry! I completely understand how you feel! It is heartbreaking! I hope you get your sticky bean real soon!

[luvmykids623]

Thank you so much ladies. Very very few people seem to understand or care why I'm "still" having such a hard time. They try to cheer me up by reminding me of the trials and tribulations that the pregnant coworkers are going through. As if it compares. I knew you would get why my heart is repeatedly being torn into a million pieces.

[.:Shortcake:.]

I wish we could all put our thoughts, feelings, and words that comfort us into a book. I would shove it in so many peoples faces and tell them to read it and see how they feel after hearing what we not only have gone through but will continue to go through the rest of our lives.

[missy123]

Originally Posted by .:Shortcake:.

I wish we could all put our thoughts, feelings, and words that comfort us into a book. I would shove it in so many peoples faces and tell them to read it and see how they feel after hearing what we not only have gone through but will continue to go through the rest of our lives.

But they still wouldn't "get it" as they have not lived it. I feel that while some people try to understand the pain of pregnancy loss they don't ever fully get it. Does that make sense?

[ohnicole]

Originally Posted by missy123

But they still wouldn't "get it" as they have not lived it. I feel that while some people try to understand the pain of pregnancy loss they don't ever fully get it. Does that make sense?

I agree, Missy. They just can't understand how it takes over every part of your life.

[momof6lopez]

Im so sorry for this daily reminder that you struggle with. I know your time will come and hopefully you will hold the spotlight at work, and everyone around YOU will be envious! Not for the same reasons of course, but you will get to be in all your glory and not have to share it with anyone!

[TnPhotoMama81]

I am so sorry. I know many of us understand your frustration. It hurts to see someone get pregnant when they dont even want to be....when you want it so bad for yourself. It isnt fair at all. *hugs*

[Erin84]

Ugh... Maybe I'm misreading what you're saying, but what I get from this is that people are telling you, "Being pregnant isn't that cool, I mean look at her, she's huge, uncomfortable, always eating..." Just from how you said people talk about the pregnant women's tribulations. I'm sorry, it's very insensitive, and even if it comes from a place of love and trying to help you, sometimes people need to think for a tick before they speak.

[luvmykids623]

Originally Posted by Erin84

Ugh... Maybe I'm misreading what you're saying, but what I get from this is that people are telling you, "Being pregnant isn't that cool, I mean look at her, she's huge, uncomfortable, always eating..." Just from how you said people talk about the pregnant women's tribulations. I'm sorry, it's very insensitive, and even if it comes from a place of love and trying to help you, sometimes people need to think for a tick before they speak.

Yeah, that's pretty much what people have resorted to. One of the girls I work with is having a rough time financially. Her husband lost his job, and she decided to get pregnant without getting disability insurance (teachers in my state don't get it like everyone else, they have to pay a private company). She's having some complications and has been sick. So they like to tell me all about how hard life is for her and how I should be glad it's not me. Gee, seems to me that she knew the complications she could have since she had them with her son, and she's the one who knowingly got pregnant AGAIN without having disability insurance, since she went through it the first time and saw how hard it was financially. Hmmm.... yes I should definitely be glad my baby died. Dumb a$$es.

[Shadeauxe]

People are stupid. I can't really add anything that everyone else here hasn't said. I do sometimes wish I had a magic wand to make people not have to deal with the stress and worry of all of this stuff.

I do have multiple blunt objects that could be used on the people you work with though.

[Pame£a]

I just want to give you lots of hugs hun.

[CAMPMOMMYAMY]

Originally Posted by Shadeauxe

People are stupid. I can't really add anything that everyone else here hasn't said. I do sometimes wish I had a magic wand to make people not have to deal with the stress and worry of all of this stuff.

I do have multiple blunt objects that could be used on the people you work with though.

Did you get inside of my head? Exactly what I was thinking!


I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. It can really be lonely especially when everyone around you keeps having babies with no problems. Your time will come, lots of thoughts and prayers to you.

[*SamF*]

Agree people are stupid. They think they are being helpful, but if they would just stop and actually listen to the crap pouring from their mouth they would realize they are the opposite.

[sarha81]

Grieving with you too. (HUGS) I was due at the end of april and two of my gfs just had their baby showers — they are due in april. My train of thought is just like yours. mapping out due dates and wondering about god's plan. I hope you get that BFP very soon