Confused.... (loss ment/living children ment)

RinkMom · #1 March 8th, 2011, 08:47 AM

I honestly don't know where to post this....

Some of you might remember me...I was here briefly last year til I got my BFP in May. Found out in August that the baby's heart stopped beating at 14w2d. That was my 2nd early 2nd tri loss in 6 months so I decided I couldn't do it anymore. Thought about DH getting the big V but the ladies on RPL and my OB told me to wait.

So I went on the BCP after my PP appt in October. I am pretty sure the BCP screwed me up emotionally even more that I actually was. February was a bad month for me -- angelversary for 2nd loss and EDD for 3rd loss. But January I was an emotional disaster leading up to those dates so I decided to finish up the pack of pills and stop taking them. A couple days later (Feb 4), AF arrived.

Well, here we are now and she hasn't returned yet. I have been bloated and been crampy for almost 2 weeks. My boobs are tender around the nipples and I have been sooo nauseous. I was sure I was prego and freaked out.

We only DTD once in Feb (the 20th). Then on the 22-24th I had pink tinged mucous when I wiped. I tested last Wed and again Sunday and Monday. I know I am not pregnant.

I really don't know what I want to do. Do I want to TTC again? We are lucky to have 4 wonderful children but I wanted 5, and that chance was taken from me. I am so scared IT will happen again. I am scared that I will regret not trying again for the rest of my life.

Thanks for reading.

Shadeauxe · #2 March 8th, 2011, 08:50 AM

I read your post, but obviously I cannot give you any advice on when yuoi''l be ready. Only you can determine that. I hope your pain goes away. No one should have to suffer.

.:Shortcake:. · #3 March 8th, 2011, 09:00 AM

Maybe you and DH should sit down and weight your options. For me I know that I want to be a mother, I will continue to try until I cannot try any more. Have then done any testing for you at all? I am very sorry for your loss and I know how horrible the pain is. I hope you can come to a decision you and your DH know is right for you.

~Tanya~ · #4 March 8th, 2011, 09:22 AM

I agree with Katie- I would take everything into account. For me, I know that I feel like I am not done, so I am giving it a chance again. Only you can decide ultimately if YOU can handle the heartache should you have another loss...

It isn't an easy decision

*SamF* · #5 March 8th, 2011, 09:41 AM

Agree, sit down and discuss all your options with your DH. When and if you will be ready to TTC again only you can answer.
I know many women in my situation would give up, but I'm not ready to yet. But it's a personal decision that you have to make.

Good luck, and know the support is here when you need it!

momof6lopez · #6 March 8th, 2011, 11:58 AM

For ME, I had to get my mental state to a point where I "could" accept another loss...before trying again. When you have had multiple losses (espescially consectutive) your going to be at a higher risk for it to happen again....unless they were able to fix the reason why you lost (ie, testing and such). I had testing, and was just told flat out "your eggs are bad, 1 in 10 *may* be good, your chance of m/c is HIGH". I finally accepted that. It was what it was, and I knew without a doubt that I wanted my 5th baby, first with dh worse than anything. I was willing to go through it again and again until we got a good one!

Your mental state before starting ttc is important. I know you cant prepare for a m/c in advance, but getting yourself to accept the possiblity is important when there are no answers. I wish you luck and peace with your decision. Only you will know what your capable of, and only you will know when that time is.