Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss
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March 10th, 2011, 07:08 PM
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POAS Queen
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 3,947
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When I'm in the 2WW, I find myself lying in bed at night, or sitting around during the day, thinking to myself, "Please be pregnant, please be pregnant, please be pregnant..." Which is silly, because the majority of the time I'm thinking these things, it's too late for the wishing and hoping to make a difference anyway. Like, if DH's boys didn't catch the egg, at 2DPO it's already over, but I'm still sitting around for 11 days hoping I'm pregnant, when at that point it's not even possible anymore. Just a weird thought I was having... Makes it seem silly to spend so much time obsessing. Nothing I can do about it once ovulation happens. Of course I know good & well I'll be full-on obsessing this upcoming cycle.
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With us on earth for five short days, with us in our hearts forever.
(Thank you Natasha for this beautiful graphic of Andrew, and to the ladies of the Nov 10 PR who help me in carrying on his memory.)
Jan. 2009: Came off years of BCP and started TTC
March 2010: BFP -- finally!
Oct. 22, 2010: Drew is born, but has to stay in the NICU because of cord complications resulting in oxygen deprivation and brain problems =(
Oct. 27, 2010: I held him in my arms while Daddy, Grandma, Great-Uncle and I sang him to sleep =( Hardest thing I've ever done...
June 14, 2011: Drew's baby brother or sister waved hi to us with a BFP!
June 25, 2011: Natural miscarriage... Can we please catch a break here?
Nov. 2011: 100mg Clomid followed by 2mg Estrogen, Ovidrel trigger, and 200mg progesterone suppositories 2x/day 14 days. BFN.
Dec. 2011: 2nd medicated cycle. BFN.
Jan. 2012: Took a month off to breathe...
Feb. 2012: Same regimen of Clomid and other meds, add IUI. 2 eggs and 8.5 million swimmers. BFN.
March 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-11, follie scan CD 8 showed 6 follies likely to mature. Triggered, IUI on CD 14, 4 million swimmers. BFN.
April 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-10. Scan showed 2 mature follies, 2 almost certain to mature, and two not likely but possible. (All 6 evenly and perfectly spaced out between the left and the right.) Triggered, IUI CD 13 with 5 million swimmers. BFN.
May 2012: 75 IU Follistim starting CD 3. Waiting to O. Timed intercourse. Likely 5 follies to mature.
^^ Click graphic for chart ^^
 
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March 11th, 2011, 03:09 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,185
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I think we all do this.... at least I know I do.
TTC is so freaking hard and stressfull. And for those in here the stress does not stop once you do get your BFP then its a whole new stress.
I am so P oed because I have to keep starting over again. I feel like my life is on hold when TTC and being pregnant.
I sweart this whole experiance is going to take 10 years off my life from all the stressing and obsesing over it.
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March 11th, 2011, 04:59 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 14,553
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I agree... I have tried not obsessing and no matter what it ends up happening. I think it's hard not to when you want something so badly and would do anything to make it happen. And I agree Lindsey, the starting over time and time again really SUCKS!
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March 11th, 2011, 06:56 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,944
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Really there is not much we can do at any point in our cycle- but I think I would go totally nuts if I let myself completely believe that  I think that the obsessing helps keep us sane, because if we believe we have no control, that's just horrible.
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Thanks, Katie (.:Shortcake:.) for the adorable siggy!
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March 11th, 2011, 08:40 AM
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Don't dream it, BE IT!
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Southern Utah
Posts: 925
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I know the feeling Erin! It's hard not to obsess, and hope, and pray--even when you really have no control. It's really hard for me, I like having control over everything (not in a dictator sort of way, but you know....) and this is something, that I absolutely cannot control. Even if you do everything right.
I hope you catch the egg soon!
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~Amy and Rodney trying to conceive since June 2009.
~Ectopic pregnancy March 2010.
~First Cycle Since ectopic May 21st 2010
~Forever missin' our little angel.
http://msshamisdavis.blogspot.com/
Thank you to Katie (Shortcake) for my beautiful siggy!
  
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March 11th, 2011, 10:24 AM
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Veteran
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 224
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I actually blogged a week or so ago about how I needed to have a new attitude about TTC from now on. The last few months I have let the TWW almost kill me with analyzing and POAS and over thinking and POAS and... well you know what I mean.
So here I am at *maybe* 1 dpo trying so hard to not get all caught up in the TWW. I am doing good so far but I don't get too worked up about things until about 5 or 6 dpo. So... hopefully I will put my word into actions.
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Maria-34
Hubby-41
Gavin-2/14/08
---6 early losses---
Joey- 7/15/10
 
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March 11th, 2011, 04:12 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,280
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Quote:
Originally Posted by .:Shortcake:.
I agree... I have tried not obsessing and no matter what it ends up happening. I think it's hard not to when you want something so badly and would do anything to make it happen. And I agree Lindsey, the starting over time and time again really SUCKS!
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March 11th, 2011, 06:28 PM
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Wife/Mommy/Photographer
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oneida, TN
Posts: 7,313
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lindsey2000k
I swear this whole experiance is going to take 10 years off my life from all the stressing and obsesing over it.
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DITTO. 
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March 12th, 2011, 05:36 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 22,162
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I completely can relate to you! TTC is the most stressful, excruciating time for a woman to go through. It seriously took over my life and I became super bitter and upset at everything/everyone. I hated the way it made me feel and pray that it happens for all of you great girls VERY soon too!
Lindsey, you're so right about how even when it does happen, it brings on a huge range of other stressors.....argh!!
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Random thought about TTC
04/21/10 - 7w5d 
