Please bear with me on this one.
Since Sunday my lungs have felt like they are on fire. Today while I was working with my students I had tears running down my face from the pain in my chest, so I left early to go to the doctor. My primary moved to this giant new building in the summer where all kinds of specialists from their network (affiliated with the University of Penn in Philadelphia) are also located under one roof. My OB was affiliated with them too, until the move, when they decided to open their own private practice not affiliated with Penn Care. In this journey to private practice a lot of their staff members that I loved decided to stay with Penn Care and the new doctors that took my OBs place. Of course I went with the doctors I knew, because I was comfortable with them. I haven't been loving a lot of the changes, but I've been looking at them as growing pains and trying to deal. Anyway, today on the way out of my primary's side I noticed one of my favorites from my OBs old office- the most amazing checkout woman/receptionist/referral person/etc EVER! I had to stop and say hi. I talked to her for over an hour telling her all about what's been going on with me and the latest loss, and our new found ttc issues. As I poured it all out to her I realized that I'm not happy with how things are going at the new practice. I feel like my doctor blew me off last month when I voiced my concerns. I feel like he isn't taking what I'm going through seriously. I even told her that I was starting to wonder if they were only good because they had the University of Penn behind them and that it wasn't really THEM that were that good. I haven't let myself admit all those things that have been in the back of my mind for the last few months. She didn't push me one way or the other, she just let me talk through my feelings and told me that it appears I have a bunch of snippets and if I put them together I can see a picture. I told her that I feel loyalty to them because I've been with them for so long. But I feel like they were awesome for the pregnant me, and aren't doing **** for the not pregnant me. She gave me cards to the fertility specialists that she saw the most babies come from in the 25 years she's been in the business in case I need them. I also made an appt with the new doctors that she works with for a second opinion of sorts (on Thursday night). The gnawing doubts that I had in the back of my mind the last few months about my doctors are gone. I have hope for the first time in what feels like forever. I've decided I'm okay with being sick, because if I wasn't I wouldn't have gone to the office and happened across her, and I wouldn't feel the best I've felt in a long time.
If you made it through this you deserve a cookie!
Thanks for listening!
JustMommies Message Boards
» Trying to Conceive and Family Planning
» Trying to Conceive after Loss
»
I have some hope
04/21/10 - 7w5d 
and 2-4-2012, chemical 
Linear Mode
