Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss
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March 26th, 2011, 07:24 PM
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Proud JM hostess
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: @ JM if I'm not at work
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It was AWESOME!
This is their first baby and they struggled a bit to get pregnant, but a little over a year later they did!
Anyways, it was a wonderful beautiful day and I tell you what... I didn't feel anything but JOY! How much of a sign of healing is that? To be in the midst of all the baby items and gooing ahhhhing over the glowing mom to be fully thrilled to be a part of their memories in celebrating their soon to be little bundle's arrival.... didn't so much as have a thought otherwise.
It felt good and I wanted to share this with you ladies because it CAN and WILL happen that you'll move past all the painful emotions to a point where you're sort of at peace enough to enjoy get together or moments like this. It's taken a long time to get here and even after just having a loss less than 3 months ago, I was *ok* actually BETTER than ok today. I stayed for over 4 hours!
Don't get me wrong, a friend made the comment to me... makes you want to have a baby doesn't it? I told her we've been trying just have had some issues... and that was all I said. I have my moments, but today wasn't one of the bad ones, it was a GOOD one. The power of healing, takes so much time and mental strength but it DOES and CAN happen ladies. It will for all of you who are having a hard time or struggling with it right now.
I can tell you that in my darkest hour, I did NOT want to exist because the pain was too great too strong for me to bare. So to come all this way... is amazing. There are those painfully rough days here and there, but it gets much better and easier. You never forget and there's always a thorn in the side but you get used to and handle it differently as you move thru the stages of grief. It doesn't last forever tho honey!!!
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March 26th, 2011, 11:00 PM
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POAS Queen
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 3,947
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Celena, that's beautiful!  At this point I don't think I could do that, I'd just have to drop off a gift for her privately or something. I'm so glad you've gotten to a place where you can be truly happy for others. That's really great, Celena, truly.
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With us on earth for five short days, with us in our hearts forever.
(Thank you Natasha for this beautiful graphic of Andrew, and to the ladies of the Nov 10 PR who help me in carrying on his memory.)
Jan. 2009: Came off years of BCP and started TTC
March 2010: BFP -- finally!
Oct. 22, 2010: Drew is born, but has to stay in the NICU because of cord complications resulting in oxygen deprivation and brain problems =(
Oct. 27, 2010: I held him in my arms while Daddy, Grandma, Great-Uncle and I sang him to sleep =( Hardest thing I've ever done...
June 14, 2011: Drew's baby brother or sister waved hi to us with a BFP!
June 25, 2011: Natural miscarriage... Can we please catch a break here?
Nov. 2011: 100mg Clomid followed by 2mg Estrogen, Ovidrel trigger, and 200mg progesterone suppositories 2x/day 14 days. BFN.
Dec. 2011: 2nd medicated cycle. BFN.
Jan. 2012: Took a month off to breathe...
Feb. 2012: Same regimen of Clomid and other meds, add IUI. 2 eggs and 8.5 million swimmers. BFN.
March 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-11, follie scan CD 8 showed 6 follies likely to mature. Triggered, IUI on CD 14, 4 million swimmers. BFN.
April 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-10. Scan showed 2 mature follies, 2 almost certain to mature, and two not likely but possible. (All 6 evenly and perfectly spaced out between the left and the right.) Triggered, IUI CD 13 with 5 million swimmers. BFN.
May 2012: 75 IU Follistim starting CD 3. Waiting to O. Timed intercourse. Likely 5 follies to mature.
^^ Click graphic for chart ^^
 
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March 27th, 2011, 04:46 AM
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It's me
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 5,064
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Great story! And I am glad you had a good time. I've said before that the human body is pretty amazing and the mind is amazing too. I don't know how we get over anything traumatic, but our minds figure it out eventually.
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March 27th, 2011, 06:12 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,944
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Celena, it's amazing to hear you sounding so positive. I think you are an inspiration!
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March 27th, 2011, 06:14 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 14,553
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Celena I am so happy that your in a place of peace now. I love you lady and I hope that I can find the peace that you found someday soon. 
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March 27th, 2011, 07:58 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,280
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I'm so glad you were able to have a good time, and you're in a good place! You truly deserve it!
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March 27th, 2011, 08:15 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,189
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How beautiful and inspiring! I'm glad you have found that peace and were able to fully enjoy your day and be truly happy for your friend! Thanks so much for sharing!!
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March 27th, 2011, 10:03 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,600
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Thank you so much for sharing your expirence. It gives me hope that I mays someday be in such a good place.
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Sharon
DD Brooklynn 8-4-01
DD Libby 6-18-04
DS Gavin 8-20-08
DS Carter born still 3-2-11 (20 weeks)
It's a GIRL!!! EDD 3-6-12
 Make a pregnancy ticker
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March 27th, 2011, 10:14 AM
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Lovin life and family
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 21,980
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I am so happy for you Celena. I know when I saw a friend and felt genuine happiness for her pregnancy I was healing. I even told my bff about it because I felt so great about the place I was in with my healing. Its wonderful to feel at peace. We all still have bad days. We all have each other for that too . Celena you are an amazing women.
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March 27th, 2011, 04:15 PM
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Proud JM hostess
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Join Date: Jul 2009
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Thank you ladies...
I wanted to share this so everyone knows that those dark days don't stay forever and there is healing to the point you're able to be around pregnant people, babies and not be in a painful devastating place.
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March 27th, 2011, 04:38 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Bristow Virginia
Posts: 1,560
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Truly great to hear and that there is healing out there makes me hopeful. I am better but still have trouble being genuinly happy for others that either have had a baby or will have.
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~ Lovisa
~ Married to DH Gus 06/27/1998
~ Son Erik Jackson still born 11/04/09 - EDD 03/02/2010
~ Expecting our rainbow baby September 7, 2012 - grew wings on 1/27/2012
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March 27th, 2011, 05:56 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Southern PA
Posts: 13,228
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Celena
Thank you ladies...
I wanted to share this so everyone knows that those dark days don't stay forever and there is healing to the point you're able to be around pregnant people, babies and not be in a painful devastating place.
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I agree. It takes a long time to get there and it doesn't mean our own pain of TTC goes away it is just a peace and acceptance that comes and allows us to live our lives a little more.
((Hugs)) Celena - I am proud of you! Love you a lot sweetie.
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March 27th, 2011, 07:04 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 8,385
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Ditto! XOXOXOXO
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March 28th, 2011, 03:11 AM
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Waiting for our Miracle.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Clarence, Pa
Posts: 4,828
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Celena, I am so happy for you that you are in a good place. I am no where near where I can go to a baby shower. Maybe one day but everything is so raw right now. I am happy you were able to have a good time.
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March 28th, 2011, 06:09 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,185
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WOW amazing.
I wish I was that brave. I am not even going to coffee every tuesday morning with my neighbors that I have gone to the last 3 years because one of the ladies daughters is pregnant. 3 years ago her DIL got pregnant and it was ALL she talked about so I can just imagine now with it being her daughter. I just can't sit there and hear about all the DR updates when I should be the one with the pregnancy updates every week!
I enrolled my daughter in a preschool playdate every Tue & Thur morning so I have an excuse to skip coffee and not hurt anyones feelings.
When people have never had a loss I don't think they realize the little things to them can be big hurts to us. I found out about the neighbors baby news from the other neighbor who said "OH I have some exciting news to tell you" She told me this as I picked my daughter up from getting back from my follow up ultrasound to make sure I did not need a D&C. I then said "well I think I am going to be skipping coffee for a little because I just cant handle hearing about her 5th grand baby" After I said that she said something about not knowing it would bother me.
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March 28th, 2011, 06:29 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 16,285
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I'm so happy you have gotten to this point Celena!! Glad you had a good time!
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Waiting for our ELF to get here!
Thank you .:Shortcake:.!! for my awesome siggy!
My Forever Babies- 07/20087.5 weeks, 10/2008 4.5 weeks 12/2008 4 weeks 06/2009 our twin 7.5 weeks 08/2010 4 weeks 10/2010 Mr. Spud 9.5 weeks 04/2011 twins 6 weeks
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March 28th, 2011, 06:49 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 7,934
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Thank you so much for sharing. I am glad that you were able to enjoy being there.
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Went to a good friend of mine, her babyshower.... (pg ment/baby)
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