Life on Hold Vent

Nikki515 · #1 April 5th, 2011, 09:12 AM

Sorry up front for the negativism, I just need to get this off my chest. I feel like my life is on hold right now. Not so much in the day to day, but more in being able to make plans.

BACKGROUND: I had hyperemesis during both DS and DD's pregnancies. With DD I had to get a PICC line put in and was on IV fluids and a Zofran pump for eight weeks. We had to have people come in shifts to help since I couldn't take care of DS by myself.

So now we know that it's likely that I will be sick again when I do get pregnant and I feel like I can't make any vacation plans since we don't know if I will be pregnant this summer. We have a family reunion in July that I was supposed to be going to with a two month old. I feel like I'm still marking time based on how far along I would have been or how old our angel baby would have been.

Please don't take offense to this, I know some of you won't understand, but I simultaneously want desperately to be pregnant and totally dread it because it is so hard on our family. We just want that third child in our family so we can move on to all the wonderful new stages with all our kids.

I'm usually so positive and joyful about the time I am spending with my kids right now before we have another baby, but today I'm just wanting to be a family of five.

Sorrry for the rambling, I promise I'll be back to optimistic me tomorrow.

EJsMommy · #2 April 5th, 2011, 09:33 AM

I can relate to the want to be a bigger family and I hope you can get your wish to become a family of 5. I am sorry that you are having a bad day and hope it will get better. Sending you lots of Hugs.

KeepingFaith · #3 April 5th, 2011, 09:40 AM

I am sorry you are having a bad day. I had hyperemesis too, but it wasn't as bad as yours. I went to the hospital 5 times for fluids and lost 10 lbs my first trimester,
I had to leave my job and lived on my bed for 12 weeks. I worry I will get sick again and not be able to take care of DD. But you know in the end it will all be worth it. We all have the "poor me" days. I hope you feel better soon!

.:Shortcake:. · #4 April 5th, 2011, 09:43 AM

I am sorry that your having to go through this. That has to be horrible being that sick and not really being able to enjoy your pregnancy. I hope you get your sticky BFP soon and hopefully you won't be as sick the next pregnancy.

Cait&AngelAbove · #5 April 5th, 2011, 11:10 AM

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. Feel free to vent away.

*SamF* · #6 April 5th, 2011, 11:16 AM

Sorry you are dealing with this too. We all need to vent from time to time about all sorts of TTC issues.

missy123 · #7 April 5th, 2011, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *SamF*

Sorry you are dealing with this too. We all need to vent from time to time about all sorts of TTC issues.

Ditto! It is very stressful and I completely understand what you mean when you say you put your life on hold. I did that for 2 1/2 years! We would go to plan something and I would say Wait, what if I am pregnant... Every 2ww I would plan my life differently and it got insane. It got to the point where I had to just plan my life and if I did get pregnant then adjust accordingly.

((Hugs)) I understand.

j&jmom · #8 April 5th, 2011, 03:07 PM

I didn't have all those issues when I was pg and I still wonder about making plans for vacation or other things. It is always hard not knowing what will happen in the future. I agree with Missy though, sometimes you just have to go on with life and hope everything works out like it is supposed to. I hope you feel better soon!

Nikki515 · #9 April 5th, 2011, 06:15 PM

Thanks for the sympathy

I'm already feeling more like my usual self this evening - every once in awhile I just get bummed about things that are out of my control. I do believe that everything will work out exactly the way it should and I just need the occasional reminder to keep faith. So thanks!

missy123 · #10 April 5th, 2011, 07:18 PM

Plus sometimes it just feels good to vent to people you know won't judge you!!

Moldovandish · #11 April 6th, 2011, 06:23 PM

I totally know those types of feelings. I'm sorry that you got severe HG with your pregnancies. That's tough. I have regular m/s typically and during this past pregnancy I felt so sick I told DH I don't want to be pregnant again. But of course now that we lost this baby, I so want another one, yet missing what could have been.
Hugs!