[kaylakay]

This morning, I was talking to DH and I said something like "If we get pregnant, and hopefully it sticks you know we have to find a new apartment by August" and he says this "Kayla, I am sick of you speaking in "ifs" "maybes" and "hopefully" It will happen eventually!"

Now hes been upset all morning.
Sheesh...

I know I do talk like that its because I dont want to get my hopes up, and hes so positive thats its gonna happen! I know this sounds so strange but... it kind of makes me mad how hes so positive... What if it DOESNT happen? With my 3 pregnancies the whole time he has been like "Dont worry this one will be just fine, just bad luck before" and guess what? We miscarried and he took a bigger hit than me because I was expecting miscarriage.

I think hes getting his hopes up a little too much. I dont know. Im venting you could say. I just kind of want to shake him and say "But what if it never happens!?!" But if I did he would just say "It will!"

Anyone else have this problem? Its frustrating. I know I should be grateful hes positive.. It just really gets to me sometimes.

Gr. Haha.

[Nikki515]

I'm sorry you're frustrated! Sometimes no matter what our men do, they drive us a little crazy. BUT, if he's anything like my DH, he might just want everything to be okay and having a good attitude is the only thing he can do right now. I hope you are blessed with a sticky bean soon!!!

[*SamF*]

Men can be frustrating, especially since they don't seem to dwell on it as much as we do. Hugs!!

[Shadeauxe]

I tend to be a positive person also because negative energy can be so mentally draining. Generally, I try to roll with whatever life throws at me, which, I know, is easier said than done for most people

If you shook me and said, "BUT WHAT IF IT DOESN't?!?!?!", my response would be, "Then it doesn't happen." I mean you can't force something like pregnancy to work. It either sticks or it doesn't. Sure, there are things that can help (like going to the doctor to see if you have clotting disorders) and there are things you can to to harm your chances of pregnancy (like shooting heroin or drowning yourself), but you're not doing any of the bad stuff and probably are doing all of the good stuff.

Being able to remain positive through a whole boatload of crap that life dumps on you is an amazing gift. I would much rather be positive than miserable. Hopefully there's a middle ground somewhere for the both of you where he thinks, "My instincts tell me it will happen, but after everything we've been through, I acknowledge that there is always a risk." and you think "Ok, I know we've had a lot of problems and that while yes there is the possibility of bad things happening, there is an equal possibility that nothing bad will happen. So you're not all doom and gloom and he's not all sunshine and unicorns.

I realize that you're just venting and maybe this might come across as me picking on you, but that isn't how I mean it. I just try to objectively show both side because sometimes that can be calming.

[Cait&AngelAbove]

i am sorry that you are feeling so frustrated. I like for DH to tell me that it is going to happen. It helps to keep me going.

[.:Shortcake:.]

I am sorry your so frustrated and I do agree with Courtney. I used to think negatively and honestly sometimes I still do ... but I'm to the point of thinking that it's not going to affect me negatively to be positive because being negative was REALLY hurting me. Sometimes explaining to DH how I feel by speaking to him doesn't work so I write a letter, text or email and sometimes that is 10x easier for us to get our feelings out because we can calmly hear what the other one is saying and then think about things before replying.

[KeepingFaith]

I am sorry you are feeling badly. It stinks not being on the same page but at least he is not hurtful. My DH cannot show emotion at all, and sometimes he is down right hurtful. While we were sitting in the room at the ER right after the m/c was confirmed, he had the nerve to say "well, at least now I don't have to scoop the litter box anymore." Can you believe that, I think he was hurting too but had no idea what to say, so he tried to make a joke. Well it was not funny. And now every cycle that doesn't work he acts happy that we get to BD like crazy again, even though I am so upset, he just says "oh, well." So my point I guess is that it could be worse, but nothing is ever easy emotionally TTCAL. I Hope you feel better. We all have those days.

[j&jmom]

I understand your frustration. I think I'm being realistic, but my dh thinks I'm being negative. He's always asking me to "tell him three positive things about my day . . . " I know he's trying to get me in a good mood after dealing with work, but somedays it is really hard for me to "play" his game.

[kaylakay]

Thanks Ladies for all the responses... I really appreciate it... I guess him being positive is way better than him being negative. We just need to find a good middle ground... It's just hard. I really appreciate all the responses.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Have you talked to him about meeting in the middle? Thinking of you!