[StaceygirlPa]

I had my follow up appointment with my Ob yesterday. I love my ob but I was very disappointment in the follow up appointment. I had a whole list of questions for him. He only answered half of my questions and half of the blood test I asked him if he was going to do he said no. Some times he makes me feel like he wants to blame everything on my age. Which I know my age might be a factor. I asked him if he was going to do the blood test for MTHFR and he said no. This one really disappointed me. He said if I did test postive for the MTHFR Gene mutations would I be willing to give myself lovenoxs shots everyday. I just looked at him and said if it will help the pregnancy and help me carry a baby to term I would do it. He then said there still no guarantee it would help me carry a baby to term. Its like he was blowing me off on this one. He is going to run the genetic testing for me and Dh to check for Chromosome Abnormalities. He said this was the best one to run and the one that will tell us the most. There were couple more he was going to run I don't remember all of them. One I do remember is Lupus Anticoagulant Antibodies. I coldn't get any of the testing done yesterday because they think they need to get approval from my insurance company for all the testing. I also have HSG still in my system and we have to wait for that to go down to 0. His nurse did call me this morning and all the blood test have been approved except the genetic testing to check for the Chromosome Abnormalities which my ob has to write a letter for. She is working on getting approval from Dh's insurance company for his genetic testing.

When Af shows we are going to the 3 day testing to check my FSH level again. He said you know if the level comes back high then we are done. I wanted to cry when he said that.

With everything being said my OB is very happy and very encourage that Dh and I have gotten pregnant the last 2 times on our own. He said we shouldn't give up trying.

He did check my HCG level yesterday its down from 175 (I think that was the number from last week) to 47. It's going down good. Since it is going down good he cancelled my u/s for today.

[EJsMommy]

You rely on the knowledge and expertise of a doctor and when you feel that the doctor does not hear you on the same wave length were you are at that makes it really tough and disheartening. I hope you and your DH can find answers on what can be done to carry the baby to term. I also hope that both of your health insurance covers all the tests.
{{{{Hugs}}}}

[.:Shortcake:.]

Stacey sometimes we have to find a doctor that is going to listen to us and acknowledge that we do know a good bit about our own bodies. If you feel those tests need done then you have two options
Option 1: Push the doctor you have now and see if you get anywhere
Option 2: Get a second opinion.

I myself have changed doctors until I found the right fit (the one I have now). She listens to me and takes what I say and goes with it. A women knows their own body better than any doctor IMO because we know how our body usually acts and when something is different we notice.

Either way I hope you get some answers so you can have your rainbow baby..

[missy123]

It is hard to hear those things from your doctor but he is right Stacey. Maybe not on the testing you want done but because of your age and having the FSH testing done. I went through it and the doctor told me donor eggs only. I felt that I wasn't done fighting my own fight yet and I suffered through 2 more losses after that to get where I am.

Go out and get the book called a few good eggs. Fun, easy reading and it helped me get through the last 2 years.

You have to be willing to take the chance at failure to get the prize here. I know none of this is easy to hear/read but I say it with much love. I know the hurt, the pain, the hope, the dreams being smashed. I know what you are going through and you need to evaluate yourself and see if the fight is worth it or if exploring other options is the better choice for you. Hugs girly.

[Erin84]

Originally Posted by .:Shortcake:.

Stacey sometimes we have to find a doctor that is going to listen to us and acknowledge that we do know a good bit about our own bodies. If you feel those tests need done then you have two options
Option 1: Push the doctor you have now and see if you get anywhere
Option 2: Get a second opinion.

this exactly. I know it's different, but when I worked at my restaurant, I was moderately happy there. I was scared to risk moderate happiness and land myself in a job I hated, so I never looked for anything better. It sounds like your doc is a pretty good fit, but not perfect. There are so many docs out there... I'd encourage you to maybe shop around a little if you're not getting what you want with yours. Of course pushing for MTHFR testing is an option too! Just whatever you feel more comfortable with!

[luvmykids623]

Originally Posted by .:Shortcake:.

Stacey sometimes we have to find a doctor that is going to listen to us and acknowledge that we do know a good bit about our own bodies. If you feel those tests need done then you have two options
Option 1: Push the doctor you have now and see if you get anywhere
Option 2: Get a second opinion.

I loved my OB's office- all the doctors, the Nurse Practitioners, and the large majority of the staff. I went to him in February trying to find a plan of action for my three losses and our new found difficulty conceiving. He pretty much blew me off. He didn't want to do any of the recurrent loss blood work or the genetic testing. He also didn't want to do anything about our ttc troubles. I went and got a second opinion, got all the recurrent loss blood work done and she sent me to an RE. I now know that I have MTHFR and an ovulation problem that is probably responsible for my losses and for our ttc issues. The RE gave me an action plan, and for the first time in a long time I have hope and peace. It killed me to fill out the record release forms to switch OBs, but I needed to do it. Even good doctors are not good at all things, and sometimes circumstances change. You need someone who is supportive and good at figuring out those changes in circumstances. I wish you all the luck in the world Stacey! Love you!

[ohnicole]

Stacey, I have to say that I am really disappointed in the way your OB treated you, too. Yes, age may be a factor, but checking for other, treatable things only makes sense. I hope that if you really want those tests done, that you're able to find a doctor who will treat you with more respect.

[lindsey2000k]

My mom went to her GYN last week for her yearly and was telling him about me just being diagnosed with PCOS and MTHFR. She said how my OB said I will need the shots and bla bla. He then tells her he will not test for that because he does not believe in treatment. He told her its nothing but a numbers game when you have that you have a chance of a healthy pregnancy 1 in 20. Said I should just keep trying until I hit the baby lotto. I am soooo glad her DR is not mine. So maybe your DR has this same belief about that? I have found the older DR's don't want to test for much because years ago they never did test for this stuff and they are stuck in their ways.

[momof6lopez]

Stacey, Im so sorry for the let down with your dr. I dont know if you could be referred to a RE or not, but OBGYN'S are not the best for advanced maternal age loss's.........their opinion, is much the same all around. Even my OB told me it was luck of the draw, but still sent me to a RE for testing. After my high FSH and low AMH, my RE told me there was nothing he could do. So, I just went about my business and 2 months after diagnosis and three loss's later, I had Mia.

If your getting pg on your own, like Missy and I did, there is hope for a healthy baby along the way.......it just may be a longer road than what we would like. Dont give up the fight, I just know you got a healthy egg waiting to meet you!!

[missy123]

Originally Posted by momof5lopez

If your getting pg on your own, like Missy and I did, there is hope for a healthy baby along the way.......it just may be a longer road than what we would like. Dont give up the fight, I just know you got a healthy egg waiting to meet you!!

Lori always says what is on my brain but in much better words!

We love you Stacey - go to an RE if possible.

[Cait&AngelAbove]

I am sorry that the doctor just kind of blew you off. I hope no matter what you decide with this doctor that you get some results and get your sticky bean real soon!

[StaceygirlPa]

Thank you ladies. I have made up my mind that I am not going to give up. I want to be a mom and I want to make Dh a dad. I feel like if we give up now I will be letting myself down and Dh down. I feel in my heart that we will get our rainbow baby and we will be holding our rainbow baby in our arms. We have proven the doctor's wrong twice by getting pregnant twice on our own. I am bound to prove them wrong again.

As far as the testing is concerned we are on hold for the testing until May 1st. I still have HCG in my system which I am hoping will be at 0 next week. I am having surgery next week to remove my gallbladder. Dh's insurance company aprroved the genetic/chromosomal blood test. We are still waiting for my insurance company to approve mine. My ob faxed them a letter over yesterday so hopefully they will approve mine. Dh and I have been talking and we are going to stay with my Ob for right now. We are going to let him run the blood test that he wants to run. Depending on what the test results are will determine if we go see an RE or not.

Since we are on hold kind of until May we are NTNP. Which I will say it has been nice to just have fun with Dh and not worry about things. When we start trying again I am going to still take the OPK's to see when I O'ing. I may forget to tell Dh that I am still using them. I plan on not telling Dh when I am O'ing so he wont feel so much pressure. I am taking the DHEA and I plan on taking it. I don't know if I am going to add soy or not. One thing Dh does not want is any medical help to get pregnant like a IUI. I am hoping since we have gotten pregnant the last two times on our own we will get pregnant again on our own.

[*SamF*]

I'm so glad you are not giving up!!!

I really believe in RE's over OB's they have a different perspective, but even with RE's sometimes like Katie said you have to find the right fit. I love, love , love my RE, I switched OB's offices not because I didn't 'like my doctor, but I didn't think they were taking my concerns seriously enough during DS's pregnancy. I also Love the way I'm treated at my new Ob and Peri's office. I was nervous about switching because they are 35 minutes away, where my old OB was 5 minutes away.

I have complete faith that you will get your perfect rainbow baby!!!