Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss
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April 19th, 2011, 06:28 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,189
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Today marks 2 months since my loss. I'd be 14 weeks 3 days now and it kills me to think of how much has been lost. The only saving grace is AF didn't come today. I know she's coming but if she showed today, it would be so much worse. To top it all off, Facebook is full of friends who are excited about their ultrasounds to determine blue or pink. One is finding out today, one tomorrow, and another posts her countdown every day. Not to mention all of the complaining about morning sickness, gaining weight, and all of the other things that go along with pregnancy. What I would give to have morning sickness! I'm happy for all of them but it still stings. Sorry for the downer post. I try to be more positive but every once in a while things catch up to me. I think I'll visit the Happy Happy, Joy Joy thread to get a mood boost! Thanks for listening!
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April 19th, 2011, 06:33 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 14,553
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 It's okay to be down. We can't always try to face the world happy when our world isn't happy. I'm sorry that you have to relive pain daily with those announcements that has to be so hard. We are here for you to rant, cry, scream or find peace with.
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April 19th, 2011, 06:48 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Southern PA
Posts: 13,228
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I am so sorry you are feeling down but it is completely understandable. After my loss in April 2009 I was a complete mess. I cried everyday for at least 3 months then slowly found moments of happiness in each day. But I was bitter and angry for over 2 years. Even now I still have moments when I am just sad over my losses. ((hugs)) It is ok to vent and scream and howl.
Just take it one day at a time and allow yourself to feel these things. Letting it out is so much better than keeping it bottled up inside.
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April 19th, 2011, 07:56 AM
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Waiting for our Miracle.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Clarence, Pa
Posts: 4,828
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Sorry you are feeling so down. I completely understand. I just had my third loss last month and I cry everytime I think about it. We are here for you if you need to talk.
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April 19th, 2011, 11:02 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,189
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Thank you ladies...so much! I am so grateful that I found this board. We are all in this together and that is so comforting! I know my BF is sad about the loss but he doesn't understand it the way I do...but you all do. Thank you! 
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April 19th, 2011, 11:07 AM
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*~Mom to Faith Marie~*
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,696
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Sorry you are having a rough day. I usually feel down every milestone I don't get to have. It definitely gets better with time though. I hope you feel better soon ((hugs))
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1/25/12
 
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April 19th, 2011, 11:53 AM
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Veteran
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 419
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I'm so sorry today is such a rough day for you. We all have them, and they just suck. I hope the rest of your day gets better!
__________________
Thank you so much .:Shortcake:. for my beautiful siggy!
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April 19th, 2011, 12:21 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 2,446
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I feel like I wrote this post!
It does gets easier, but there are still days I just can't keep it together. Today is one of those days as AF showed this am. 
I REALLY hope you get your BFP this cycle!!
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April 19th, 2011, 12:29 PM
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Lovin life and family
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 21,980
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So sorry you are having a rough day. I think the lady that counts down each day until her u/s should be slapped  That is just overkill. I had to hide alot of posts after my losses for a couple months. It was just so hard seeing that and the complaining ugh.
I hope your day gets better and next month is your month for a beatiful stickie BFP.
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April 19th, 2011, 12:30 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,185
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I am so sorry.
I am still having my molments as well.... I should be 37 weeks & 18 weeks today.
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April 19th, 2011, 12:39 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,189
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You all are so wonderful and supportive. I hate that any of us has gone through a loss (or losses). It just isn't fair. We all deserve our sticky beans! And Jess, I agree about the woman counting down to her u/s...I've come close to hiding her posts!
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April 19th, 2011, 08:12 PM
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Wife/Mommy/Photographer
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oneida, TN
Posts: 7,313
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I am so sorry you are feeling down. I am right there with you. Today marks the 2 month loss since our last one as well and on the 21st is the 1 yr anniversary of our first loss.
*hugs*
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April 19th, 2011, 09:30 PM
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POAS Queen
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 3,947
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I'm with Jess, I've hidden probably about 1/3 of my FB friends because they're either pregnant, have a new baby, or have a baby Drew's age. I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but I'm glad you feel safe enough to come here and talk with us about it.
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With us on earth for five short days, with us in our hearts forever.
(Thank you Natasha for this beautiful graphic of Andrew, and to the ladies of the Nov 10 PR who help me in carrying on his memory.)
Jan. 2009: Came off years of BCP and started TTC
March 2010: BFP -- finally!
Oct. 22, 2010: Drew is born, but has to stay in the NICU because of cord complications resulting in oxygen deprivation and brain problems =(
Oct. 27, 2010: I held him in my arms while Daddy, Grandma, Great-Uncle and I sang him to sleep =( Hardest thing I've ever done...
June 14, 2011: Drew's baby brother or sister waved hi to us with a BFP!
June 25, 2011: Natural miscarriage... Can we please catch a break here?
Nov. 2011: 100mg Clomid followed by 2mg Estrogen, Ovidrel trigger, and 200mg progesterone suppositories 2x/day 14 days. BFN.
Dec. 2011: 2nd medicated cycle. BFN.
Jan. 2012: Took a month off to breathe...
Feb. 2012: Same regimen of Clomid and other meds, add IUI. 2 eggs and 8.5 million swimmers. BFN.
March 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-11, follie scan CD 8 showed 6 follies likely to mature. Triggered, IUI on CD 14, 4 million swimmers. BFN.
April 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-10. Scan showed 2 mature follies, 2 almost certain to mature, and two not likely but possible. (All 6 evenly and perfectly spaced out between the left and the right.) Triggered, IUI CD 13 with 5 million swimmers. BFN.
May 2012: 75 IU Follistim starting CD 3. Waiting to O. Timed intercourse. Likely 5 follies to mature.
^^ Click graphic for chart ^^
 
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2 Months (loss ment.)
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