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I miss being pregnant (loss mentioned)


Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

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  #1  
April 19th, 2011, 07:50 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 782
Ok, apparently I'm feeling lonely tonight, so bear with me and my many posts ANyway - its been a few days since my D&C, and I think reality is finally starting to return...and simply put, I really miss being pregnant. I even went out to lunch with DH today and we had Jason's Deli - one of fhte only places that offers gluten free bread - and he said, while I was halfway through my sandwich..."you're not supposed to have lunchmeat!!" and I had to remind him that I can have lunchmeat every day, all day, if I want...when I'm not pregnant. Not sure why, but that really sort of drove it home...I usually have to remind DH on a daily basis what I can and cannot eat while pregnant...got to give the guy some credit though, I have to avoid gluten, tomatoes, potatoes, peppers and refined carbs for the most part normally....so he already has a laundry list of "nots" to remember when we're discussing food. I guess because he remembered, it really hit that I'm back in the waiting game once again.


It just bugs me because I wasted so many years of my life avoiding pregnancy like nobody's business (I was single and not prepared in any way to be a mother, so it was a good thing) until 7 months ago...and now I feel that time's ticking away and I don't have much time left. Every loss seems to push me back further, and I wonder if I'll ever get pregnant...and KEEP it.

I konw I'm preaching to the choir...you all know exactly where I'm at and how I feel...but it just sucks.

I just really miss being pregnant. And now we have to wait for a bunch of bloodwork to come back...I'm hoping that its conclusive so we have a treatement plan...and scared that it will come back normal and we're back to square one.
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  #2  
April 19th, 2011, 09:42 PM
Erin84's Avatar POAS Queen
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 3,952
*sigh* I'm so sorry, Lisa. I miss being pregnant too. When I was pregnant I always felt like Drew would be safer on the outside, I was just wishing for the pregnancy to hurry up and fly by so he could be safely in my arms. I went into labor and felt relieved, and THAT'S when everything happened. I wish he were still in my belly. Looking at my stomach, touching it, looking at my breasts, it all made me so sad, and still does sometimes. I'm glad you're getting some tests done so that you can hopefully get some answers.
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With us on earth for five short days, with us in our hearts forever.
(Thank you Natasha for this beautiful graphic of Andrew, and to the ladies of the Nov 10 PR who help me in carrying on his memory.)


Jan. 2009: Came off years of BCP and started TTC
March 2010: BFP -- finally!
Oct. 22, 2010: Drew is born, but has to stay in the NICU because of cord complications resulting in oxygen deprivation and brain problems =(
Oct. 27, 2010: I held him in my arms while Daddy, Grandma, Great-Uncle and I sang him to sleep =( Hardest thing I've ever done...
June 14, 2011: Drew's baby brother or sister waved hi to us with a BFP!
June 25, 2011: Natural miscarriage... Can we please catch a break here?
Nov. 2011: 100mg Clomid followed by 2mg Estrogen, Ovidrel trigger, and 200mg progesterone suppositories 2x/day 14 days. BFN.
Dec. 2011: 2nd medicated cycle. BFN.
Jan. 2012: Took a month off to breathe...
Feb. 2012: Same regimen of Clomid and other meds, add IUI. 2 eggs and 8.5 million swimmers. BFN.
March 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-11, follie scan CD 8 showed 6 follies likely to mature. Triggered, IUI on CD 14, 4 million swimmers. BFN.
April 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-10. Scan showed 2 mature follies, 2 almost certain to mature, and two not likely but possible. (All 6 evenly and perfectly spaced out between the left and the right.) Triggered, IUI CD 13 with 5 million swimmers. BFN.
May 2012: 75 IU Follistim starting CD 3. Waiting to O. Timed intercourse. Likely 5 follies to mature.




^^ Click graphic for chart ^^


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  #3  
April 20th, 2011, 02:40 AM
StaceygirlPa's Avatar Waiting for our Miracle.
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I wish there was something I could say to take your pain away Lisa. I miss being pregnant also. I am also in the waiting game for blood work to be taken and for blood work to come back so we can hopefully have some answers. You feel like your life is on hold. I hope they give you the results fast. Thinking of you.
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  #4  
April 20th, 2011, 02:56 AM
pepper73's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,188

I am so sorry you are going through all of this and I know exactly how you feel. I also miss being pregnant (and I also miss what I hadn't even experienced yet if that makes sense) and have those same feelings about time ticking away too quickly. I really hope that your results give you some concrete answers and you can get a plan in place for a BFP and sticky bean. It will happen for all of us. I truly believe that!
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  #5  
April 20th, 2011, 04:20 AM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I remember sobbing in a packed restaraunt because I could put Sweet N Low in my tea...

Sending hugs during these trying first days!!!
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  #6  
April 20th, 2011, 04:27 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
Lisa there are days I find myself rubbing and taking to my belly, wishing that I had a reason to be doing that. It hurts, horribly, and it makes me feel crazy at times. I know how you feel, and I am sorry. There is really nothing I can say to make you feel better, but it helps to know that there are others who know how you feel.
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  #7  
April 20th, 2011, 09:04 AM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: South Carolina
Posts: 10,627
I am so sorry. I hope the doctor comes up with a good plan for you.
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  #8  
April 20th, 2011, 09:56 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Colorado
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Thank you ladies Just knowing I'm not alone really helps!

I just had to call to cancel my 12 week appt with my OB that popped up on my calendar that would have been tomorrow. That sucked. Luckily, the clinic already cancelled it for me, they're good about things like that.

I've just been praying that I'll have peace with whatever my life will hand to me in the future.
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  #9  
April 20th, 2011, 10:12 AM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
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Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 5,704
Quote:
Originally Posted by **Lisa** View Post
I've just been praying that I'll have peace with whatever my life will hand to me in the future.
This is my wish for you as well, and my wish for anyone, really. I never have the right words to say when people are sad.
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  #10  
April 20th, 2011, 10:18 AM
Twoboysmaybemore's Avatar Veteran
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Posts: 223
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadeauxe View Post
This is my wish for you as well, and my wish for anyone, really. I never have the right words to say when people are sad.
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  #11  
April 20th, 2011, 06:33 PM
-Anna-'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 8,039
I am feeling the exact same way. I am sorry for both of us.

I really hope that find out what is going on so you can get the baby you deserve.
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