[AndyBee]

I'm not positive that we will actually TTC immediately, but we have discussed it. Quite frankily, I'm terrified. Absolutely terrified. But he wants to start our family, and once we are married, he wants to begin.

We experienced an absolutely heart wrenching loss this past October. We had found out in July that our son had a genetic disorder called Meckel-Gruber Syndrome that is fatal. I could not, and would not accept this, so I continued carrying him. In October the ultrasound showed he had such a large case of hydrocephalus (fluid in the brain) that his head was measuring 41 weeks when I was only 29. I was urged to induce labor to avoid a c-section. We knew that he would not survive, whether we induced now or let it happen naturally. So I made the hardest decision I've ever made, to induce labor. It went smoothly, but he did pass in the process of labor, and was born still. We will always cherish this little man, this man that loved hot wings (he kicked like mad at the mere mention of hot wings) and football (never in my life have I ever been interested in the game, and not since either) He was our son, not just a pregnancy.

Now we are facing the decision to TTC or not. We have both been tested and are in fact carriers for Meckel-Gruber Syndrome, so our chances are 1:4 of this happening again. That doesn't even include the chances of miscarriage, and other medical conditions. I don't know if I can go through the pain of losing another child, but I also don't want to miss out on having one either. We have Tim's daughter, and I love her so dearly. But I think you ladies will understand when I say, it's not the same. As much as I love her, as much as I consider her my daughter, she is not nor will she ever truly be my daughter.

I want so badly to have a family with Tim. I'm just so scared.

[luvmykids623]

I am so sorry about the loss of your precious, beautiful son. Words cannot express how I wish you didn't have to go through that. I also wish that you didn't have to worry about genetic issues. TTCAL is scary enough without that on top. The ladies here are amazing. I pray that you find some comfort here, and that when start ttc you get your sticky, healthy bfp quickly. Many, many hugs to you!

[.:Shortcake:.]

I am very sorry for your loss of your son. The ladies here are amazing and so supportive. I know the decision of TTCAL is very difficult to make. I have had 7 losses with 8 angels myself. For me I know in my heart I'm meant to be a mommy, that is why I keep pushing on. I hope you find the comfort and support you need with us.

[lindsey2000k]

I am so sorry for your loss.
Its nice to meet you but sorry for the reason.

[-Anna-]

Gosh, your story mad me cry.

There was a woman in my DDC when I was pregnant with DD who lost her son due to a genetic disorder. She ended up pregnant again before I gave birth to my DD and not has a beautiful son.

I am Anna, married to Jon, mother to DD Bella and I just lost our baby 2 weeks ago. My husband and I both have fertility issues and were told that there was basically no chance of me getting pregnant with out assistance, we got pregnant that month but lost it a few weeks later.

The ladies here are great and so supportive. I am glad to see that you are thinking of TTC again, although I can not even begin to imagine how scary that decision is for you.

[terajet]

Having to deal with genetic issues is extremely scary. I am a carrier of cystic fibrosis and found out while I was PG with my DD. It was the scariest thing. I am sorry you had to deal with such a loss.

On a positive note. A friend of mine has a son with CF (both her and DH are carriers) and they had a perfectly healthy baby boy about a year ago.

Good luck in your journey.