[LindseyE117]

So I finally went in today for my appointment to set up our plan for next cycle. Our doctor was waiting on test results to come back in. I got terrible news. It seems my hubby's sperm count dropped from 80 million to around 20 million, or from 40 ml to 5 ml per volume. So EXTREMELY low. His motility dropped from 40% to 35% too. I cannot even begin to think how it dropped so much in just a years time.

Anyway, my doctor will not even consider IUI for us anymore. It has to be IVF. I lost it, and I was all alone too (hubby was at work). I started getting all these packages and prices in case we decided to go that route. I don't know what to do, or what to say. Here I was thinking that we were going to do our first IUI cycle next month, only to find out that IVF will cost us almost $10k. I mean at least it covers 2 tries, in case the first time it does not work.

Ladies, I am devestated. To make matters worse, I called my sister with the news (I was extremely upset and needed someone to talk to on the drive home) only to have her go off on this is God's way of telling us that we should not have a child together and I should be happy with my 2 from a previous marriage. She then goes on to lecture me about if I even know how much a child costs now a days. The conversation did not end well.

Anyway......

[JessP]

Oh Lindsey I am so so sorry sweetie. I am sorry for what your sister said and for the news from your doctor. Your sister just doesn't understand. When can you start IVF? Or is that not an option due to cost? I honestly don't know much about it but I pray that you are able to find a way to have that rainbow baby.

[luvmykids623]

I'm so incredibly sorry Lindsey! I wish I could give you a great big hug right now. It shouldn't be this hard to have a baby. I'm sorry your sister was a heinous ****** too. I'm praying for you!

[LindseyE117]

Well we would have to get financing for the IVF, which they do offer. It covers everything but the meds, which total $3000. The girl there that does all of the conseling told me that because of our income, we qualify for assistance with those through some company. I don't have the package with me though.

As for when we start it, we could feasably start it next cycle, which is coming up here quick, but it is one cycle on birth control and then our go for it cycle with full on injectable meds and what not. I have not sat down and fully discussed it with the hubby yet though, as I only told him that basically is our only option at this point. I want to do it, but it takes two to tango. I have to wait and see what he wants to do. He is sooooooo tight with the money. He even did not want to do the IUI for that reason. I dunno. I just have been depressed all day since hearing this. The only thing getting me off the couch today was my children getting home from school.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Lindsey I am so very sorry that you got bad news this cycle but you know there are ladies who the doctors have said wouldn't conceive because of their DH's low count and they have. It only takes one. Please, please do not give up.

As for your sister, I'm sorry she acted that way. That had to be super hard and I'm not sure how I would have handled her but it wouldn't have been good...

[pepper73]

Oh no! I am so sorry you were hit with that news! I agree with Katie though, don't give up! You are so strong and I know you will come out of this with your baby in your arms.

As for your sister, I literally felt sick reading that, just knowing how much it must have hurt. So insensitive and I'm really sorry she said those things to you.

[sweet.hun]

I'm so sorry, both about the news and about your sister. How insensitive of her!

Don't give up! Like Katie said, it only takes one sperm! Good luck and hang in there.

[Jen71]

I am so sorry. Don't give up. I've only just started on this board, so I don't know what you've tried already, but there is acupuncture, food/vitamin programs, etc that can help with sperm counts and motility issues. Keep on trying.

I'm so sorry to hear of your sister's response. I cam just imagine what that must have felt like.

[nala139]

So sorry. Days like that are so hard when it feels like the whole world is against you and I just feel like why does this have to be so hard for some people when it is so easy for others, it seems so unfair. Good luck with whatever you and your DH decide to do.

[KeepingFaith]

I am sorry you got bad news Please don't give up... I know its seems so hopeless, but I think you SIL is wrong and when you get your little bundle you can prove it to her! Keep your chin up((hugs))

[missy123]

Hold Up... My RE will do an IUI with 10million sperm.... If DH was 20 million I am sure after the wash he would be in the 10 million range. Can you just call around tomorrow and ask a few RE's what their minimum sperm count they will work with for an IUI is?

I understand why your doc wants to do IVF (they make more money and your chances are better) but if you feel more comfortable trying IUI first then fight for it!

We should lock your sister and my mom in a room and let them have fun together. Blah on them both!!

[mmllhh]

I think it really depends on his motility as well, he can have 100million sperm and if they aren't good swimmers it doesn't matter how many there are.
i hope he sees that this is the way to go, don't panic if he doesn't right away. Men process things differently than we do.

[missy123]

Originally Posted by mmllhh

I think it really depends on his motility as well, he can have 100million sperm and if they aren't good swimmers it doesn't matter how many there are.
i hope he sees that this is the way to go, don't panic if he doesn't right away. Men process things differently than we do.

Thanks Michelle. I was only thinking count, not mobility.

((Hugs Lindsey))

[LindseyE117]

His motility is only 35%, so yes it is very low. She said even after washing it, it only got worse. Which is surprising.

Michelle I hope he comes around. He got home and tried to comfort me by taking the family out to Outback and by bringing me to the bookstore for some new books. It worked for a while, but I knew he was avoiding talking to me about it. He kept telling me not to talk about it in front of the kids. So I cornered him after his workout on the back patio and told him to tell me how he feels. He brought up some really valid concerns, but some irrational ones as well.

Yes, he is older. He'll be 44 this November. Then again, we have been trying since he turned 40. He said that he does not want to be in a wheelchair by the time our child is 20. He also said that it would "ruin" his retirement and any time spent with me. I see his point, but I also see it as being selfish. For both sides, so I give up on my desire for another child so that he may or may not have his retirement ruined??

Yes, it is a lot of money for something that may not happen. In fact, total it equals out to $9,700 that covers 2 cycles with everything, excluding meds which it seems we would get free. Still, do we try, or do we just leave it be with the what ifs?

Finally, he says he is concerned about my health with my anxiety (which lately is being caused by not being able to get pregnant). I tried to explain to him that I completely understand where he is coming from, but that we cannot let this thing decide what we do with our lives. I am going to try and seek help again, but honestly TTC is killing me inside. I doubt quitting though will make it any better, it may even get worse. I just don't know.

Towards the end of the conversation though he got really angry with me when I just asked him for a straight answer. He pretty much yelled at me "NO!" I walked off. I have been hurting all day over this, so I took that as being pretty hurtful.

I don't know ladies. He is now trying to get me off of the computer to talk to me (DH can NEVER let a fight go on, plus he hates it when I am hurt or angry). I just do not know....

[fromustobaby]

tbh, those numbers arent terrible...what were his morphology numbers? i would really question why iui was not an option unless the morphology was super low...they could also haave him do thing, vitamins/clomid to up his numbers...he isnt THAT old, and he may have been sick, or something, in the last few months that caused the numbers to drop, rREs just seem to jump to ivf fast...you havent done and medical assistance, have you?

btw, at our REs office, they use a strict morphology scale, and my Dh was 6% which was good...for most REs they consider 15% to be fine...mobility is fine at 40-50% so not horribly low... and though the number is a bit low also, it isnt horribly low...

hugs!

[StaceygirlPa]

I am so sorry you got such bad news today. I know there are vitamin's you can try having your Dh take to help with his sperm count. I know Erin has done some research on that and has her Dh on them.

I hope you and your Dh can come together on this. Men handle things different then we do. Give him some time and hopefully he will come around.

Thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs.

[Cait&AngelAbove]

I am so sorry that you got bad news!!! I am sorry about what your sister said to you!!! I am sorry that you have to go through this!!! I agree with some of the other ladies I would call around and see if IVF is your only option.

[EJsMommy]

Lindsey, I am so sorry. Your sister may need to check her thoughts before she talks. Because the statement she made that it was god's will that you should not have more children is humbug in my mind. You might want to do some research to find out how the sperm count can be increased by supplementation like folic acid. I read that it helps. But check it out and see if you two can help the motility for your husband to increase. Gigantic Hugs. Here are some articles that might help: Increase Sperm Volume and
8 Easy Ways to Increase Sperm Volume

On a side note my husband is 48 so your husband still has a chance for you two to succeed. As I mentioned there is ways to increase the motility if he either takes supplements that include the nutrients that are being called for and the others mentioned in the second article. My husband takes a multivitamin and also additional with iron fortified with additional folic acid.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

[*SamF*]

I'm so sorry honey!! Big Hugs!! And I hate that your sister said that stuff to you. She does need to shut her trap.
I agree with looking into the upping your DH's sperm count. It' can't hurt, especially if you aren't going to jump on IVF right away, otherwise, I hope he comes around!

[LindseyE117]

Thanks ladies. I am just having a bad week all around. DH finally said that he would leave it all up to me, I just have to research everything. There is an IVF clinical trial downtown, but I heard those are next to impossible to get into. I guess I will try that, and then check out the financing. I can understand his fear of spending $10k, only to not get pregnant. So I guess I will see what all we can do. I also sprained my ankle somehow (I am guessing my anger releasing workout with the punching bag last night even though it did not hurt until this morning) and I cannot really walk on it. It is not that swollen at all, but the pain is a 10 out of 10 when I bend it. Go figure.