[Banned-Asdel]

Well I suffered a miscarriage this May 5th and it is now starting to clear up
so I am here

[outnumberedX3]

Welcome!! I'm SO sorry for your loss. I just suffered one last week. I hope that you get a BFP soon.

[Banned-Asdel]

I was talking to hubby last night and he was cuddling with me which was great and I let him know that i was still bleeding a bit and he said i thought you used tampons instead of pads I said I cant use tampons during a miscarriage i have to use pads instead didnt you know that and he said he knew nothing and he didn't even say a word he didnt even say sorry about the miscarriage So i don't Know if he really fills at a loss or not. Also while talking to him last night i told him that he basically had no right to treat me the way he has been He gave me a foot rub and trimmed my toenails which was nice he even put lotion on my feet to keep them from cracking any further he also clipped off the skin that was standing up on the crack making me walk funny.

[outnumberedX3]

I don't think that men have the same feelings after a m/c that we do. They don't have that immediate bond with the baby that we do since we are carrying it. I'm glad that he apologized and made up for it with the mini spa treatment!!

[Banned-Asdel]

I am so sorry for you loss as well
and also I asked my Dh why didn't he trust me and he said Because you lie I then told him bull - - - - i don't lie and you know it. I just asked him how he felt about the miscarriage and he said what miscarriage Umm What the - - - -. so i just went through a miscarriage alone by my self with out his support and stuff I was so prepared to tell him how i fill but now i am not going to tell him after what he said and i cant believe he desn't care that i have had a miscarry and besides he said that he would loose his right to run around the house naked when we have kids and I was thinking in my head BIG DEAL get over your self it's not just about you anymore

[Banned-Asdel]

I think it is wise that I start taking my Birth control again if he dont stop acting like an azz

[*SamF*]

Welcome to the board- I'm sorry for your loss.

Most men do no process loss the same way we do. It may not have been real to him. The old saying is that a woman becomes a mom the day she finds out she's pregnant, and man becomes a dad when he first sees/holds his baby.
But if he is not on board with having a baby, you guys definitely need to talk. Especially if he is denying you had a miscarriage! Did he not see the positive test? Did you have medical treatment at all? It seems weird that he would just deny it all, unless he is trying to deny it happened because he doesn't want to deal with it.

Anyway, glad you found us! Hope you find the support you are looking for here!

[Banned-Asdel]

Yes he seen the Positive test and i didnt have medical treatment

[missy123]

Asdel, I would go to the doctor and just get looked at. It is better to be checked out and be safe after a miscarriage. And if you start bleeding a lot (a pad an hour or less) rush yourself to the Emergency room.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Originally Posted by *SamF*

Welcome to the board- I'm sorry for your loss.

Most men do no process loss the same way we do. It may not have been real to him. The old saying is that a woman becomes a mom the day she finds out she's pregnant, and man becomes a dad when he first sees/holds his baby.
But if he is not on board with having a baby, you guys definitely need to talk. Especially if he is denying you had a miscarriage! Did he not see the positive test? Did you have medical treatment at all? It seems weird that he would just deny it all, unless he is trying to deny it happened because he doesn't want to deal with it.

Anyway, glad you found us! Hope you find the support you are looking for here!

I agree completely. I also agree with Missy. You really should go get checked out by a doctor.

[Banned-Asdel]

I am going to get check out this week
as far as my DF known to me as hubby He can just stick it were the sun don't shine Because he is either on board or not on board and if he aint going to be on board then I will just start taking my birth Control As far as i can see he doesn't give a - - - - about me or my body ect So i am going to start my weight loss process tomorrow with our with out him I am a strong woman and I do not need his negativity I will even go to the doctors office alone if i have to it is my body and **** it it's time i start taking care of my self he can fend fro him self

[luvmykids623]

Welcome! I'm so sorry for your loss.

[missy123]

It sounds like you both have a lot going on... Have you thought of couples counseling?

[j&jmom]

Welcome to the board. I'm sorry for your loss. I agree with Missy. . . I'd definitely figure out what is going on with df (hubby). I've relied on my DH a lot through this whole process (I have two children and one miscarriage). It's good to have the support and be on the same page. Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

[Banned-Asdel]

well I bled half way through a pad in about three hours I am keeping track of time so that way in an hour I can check to see just how much of the pad i have filled up if it is enough i will go straight to the emergency room.

[Banned-Asdel]

no need to go to the emergency room there was barley any blood on the pad

[doremi]

I'm very sorry you're going through this, especially since you feel like you aren't getting any support from your SO. I agree with the others that men process m/c differently than women, and that they often don't feel as much of a bond. That was certainly true with my DH. It wasn't that he didn't FEEL anything, but his emotions weren't nearly as strong as mine after our m/c. Couples counseling might be a good idea... it never hurts to have someone who is a trained professional help you communicate with one another.

[Banned-Asdel]

I was just thinking since my man don't wanna listen or trust my word because he claims i lie which i have no reason to lie then I shouldn't have to give up two weeks but one problem I promised him i wouldn't go anywhere for two weeks but he keeps saying that I don't focus on him and i or our Surroundings I don't want to break my promise so i am not sure what to do I would like to talk to him about it not sure how well it will go over but will give it a try and all i have to do is let him know that i was upset when i promised that because we were in the middle of a fight and he said that i didn't even care if our relationship was in jeopardy or not which is so not true I have stayed home I don't know how many times just so he would shut up and stop complaining. But no more I am done giving up what i want to do when he dont even give up anything so since he don't have to give up anything then i am not going to give up anything

[.:Shortcake:.]

It sounds like you and your DF should maybe think about seeing a counselor as Missy suggested. They you have a mediator and you can work through your problems.

[Banned-Asdel]

I asked df last night since i had to give up two weeks of my stuff then he has to give up 2 weeks of his computer games and he said no I then said if you dont have to give up anything then I dont have to give up anything. He said he wasn't the one who didnt do stuff I kindly reminded him that I did get my stuff done while in the middle of talking to him he plugged his right ear and started in with the La La stuff Ignoring me so then i removed his finger finger from his ear and said you need to listen to me I listened to what you had to say now you need to do the same I fished reminding him nicely that on Saturday I Mowed our law and that Sunday I mowed his moms yard and then on Monday I told him i would get the upstairs kitchen and downstairs kitchen and by the time i got the Laundry the upstairs kitchen,finished baking the chocolate chip cookies,Cooking his lunch for his lunch break,taking care of the dogs and bunny and the Downstairs kitchen all but my Project and My loads or two of laundry done then it was 10:01 pm he got off at 10:00 pm but takes him 10 minutes to get home so i stopped and waited like a nice person for him to get home and he didn't even tell me thanks or anything so i was a bit bummed but i felt like i got a lot accomplished Because I did do a lot. He was saying that i didn't get the weed eating done didn't clean the other part of the basement nor the spare room upstairs I told him hey bs dude I did what i told you i was going to do stop being controlling. I actually stood up for my self it felt great I felt on top of the world