Hello (Miscarriage mentioned)

AMiner86 · #1 May 19th, 2011, 05:10 PM

Hi. My name is Amanda and I lost my little angel on April 26 on this year. By some sort of unfortunate irony my miscarriage happened on the day of my first ultrasound. I went to the doctor that morning, had an ultrasound, found out that my angel was 6 wks 1 day old, and that everything was going fine. Later that afternoon, I started bleeding, went to the ER and everything snowballed from there.

Since that tragic day in the ER, I have kept up to date with my OBGYN who has been checking my hormone levels every few days and has performed an ultrasound and pelvic exam. Medically, I am doing very well. My ultrasound revealed that I was able to pass everything naturally without the need for a D&C and my hormone levels are almost back down to zero, my last results had them at 10. Also, I have been going to counseling and emotionally, even though it is still very hard at times, am gradually getting better every day.

Right now I am contemplating when I want to actually try again. Even though, the previous pregnancy wasn't planned, this miscarriage has made me realize that I do want another baby more than anything. My boyfriend wants to start trying immediately and would want to this very second if the doctor said I was medically ready to conceive again. The problem is that even though I do want to try again, I'm not sure if I want to do it this soon. Part of me wants a baby asap, but another part of me is still mourning the loss of my angel and needs more time.

Is there any way to know when you're really ready and how do I explain to my boyfriend that I'm just not ready yet?

outnumberedX3 · #2 May 19th, 2011, 05:19 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss

. If your not ready, just tell him that although your body might be ready your heart isn't and you need more time to emotionally prepare to be pregnant. It's so hard to decide rather to start TTC again or wait a while. GL with what ever you decide!!

EJsMommy · #3 May 19th, 2011, 05:43 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. Only you know when you are emotionally ready to start TTC again. Your BF will understand if you let him know that you are not emotionally ready even if your body is able. I wish you best of luck in whatever you decide.

.:Shortcake:. · #4 May 19th, 2011, 05:53 PM

I am so very sorry for your loss. I agree with the other ladies... only you will know when your emotionally ready to try again. No matter what no other baby will ever take that baby's place in your heart. Having another baby will not make your forget that baby. If you do not feel ready sit your BF down and tell him how you feel.. if you can't get your feelings out that way I suggest writing a letter to him. Super big hugs to you!

AMiner86 · #5 May 19th, 2011, 06:08 PM

Thank you so much for the support and advice. I think as soon as he's home from his meeting tonight I'm going to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with him. I do want another baby, but I want to make sure I'm healthy physically as well as mentally and emotionally before I start TTC again. Also, even though I know that there are just some things that you can't control about your pregnancy, I would feel a lot better if I was healthier physically so that way maybe it would make me less likely to go through another loss.

StaceygirlPa · #6 May 20th, 2011, 02:59 AM

Welcome! I am sorry for you loss. I hope you were able to sit down with your BF and explain to him how you feel. Just a side note sometimes guys handle a loss different then we do. They don't understand the minute we see those two lines we get attached.

pepper73 · #7 May 20th, 2011, 04:03 AM

Hi and welcome! I am so sorry for your loss! You and I have a lot in common. My pregnancy was also unplanned (but instantly embraced) and I also lost my angel at 6 weeks. My BF & I decided we definitely wanted to try for another one and after I got my first post-mc AF, we started TTC. I totally agree with the others that you will know in your heart when you are ready. I hope that you were able to have a heart to heart with your BF and let him know how deep the emotional scars are and you two can come to an agreement that you will start TTC when you know the time is right. Good luck and keep us posted!

KeepingFaith · #8 May 20th, 2011, 05:58 AM

So sorry for your loss. I hope you conversation went well and that when you are ready you get your BFP quickly.

missy123 · #9 May 20th, 2011, 07:07 AM

I am so sorry for your loss, it is pain like no other. ((Hugs)) Welcome to the board, you will find the girls here are awesome and extremely supportive. I hope the talk with your boyfriend went well.

LilBecca · #10 May 20th, 2011, 08:09 AM

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I had 2 miscarriages in the past 2 years myself. One at 6 wks and the 2nd at 8wks. I hope the talk with your bf went well. I agree that you'll know when the time is right, and I think it's a great idea to try and improve your health before TTC again. I know I didn't want to until I felt emotionally capable and I had improved my lifestyle. Maybe your doc has already told you this, but a great way to do that is make sure you're taking prenatals and make sure you're getting plenty of folic acid in your diet even if your not ready to TTC as of yet. It really can help lower your chances of miscarriage. Well good luck! :-)

acchickpea · #11 May 20th, 2011, 09:16 AM

Come on in and join the group... Sorry about your loss... It is very hard to deal with but gets better through time. I had a natural mc on 03.03.11 and am still waiting for my body to get back to functioning like a well oiled car..... (Whenever that happens...) Take your time and find out what is best for you. If you feel that you are not ready then tell you BF that. He should respect that. GL. The ladies here are a great support.

markswife · #12 May 20th, 2011, 09:37 AM

I'm so sorry for you loss. PAL is hard too so it's important to be emotionally ready to deal with the hurdles that brings. I hope that you are able to heal and that you get your sticky BFP right away.

*SamF* · #13 May 20th, 2011, 10:02 AM

Welcome to the board! I'm sorry for your loss. Hope the talk went well. You will know when the time is right.

AMiner86 · #14 May 20th, 2011, 06:56 PM

Thanks again for all the support. Just being able to talk with other women who are in the same boat that I am is already helping me so much to cope with what has happened.

I did talk to my boyfriend last night and explained to him about wanting to get my life together more we TTC. He was totally supportive and we both decided that another good reason to wait is that our birthdays are both coming up next month and it would be a good time to have my one last hoorah before TTC to kind of get it out of my system and also unwind a bit with a night of fun.

Although, we have both agreed to wait at least a little while before TTC again, I am still taking my prenatals everyday, along with a B-6 supplement. Not sure how true it is, but I saw on a newsprogram that taking B-6 while pregnant, decreases complications with any respiratory problems a child has when they are young. Thought, even if that report wasn't completely true, it couldn't hurt. Also, after reading some of the articles and posts on this site and forum, I bought some folic acid today to start taking.